Beliefnet
Heart of the Soul

change copyI have a friend who is currently living her dream come true. Everything seems to be working out in her life. She enjoys her job, her kids are happy and healthy, and she’s in a loving relationship. She makes a comfortable living, lives in a nice house, her basic needs (and oftentimes more) are accounted for. She should be happy. Or so she says. And she is… but she also isn’t.

Her soul wants her to be happy. Her soul knows how deserving she is of all of this good fortune. Her soul knows that she is worthy of this life.

But her brain isn’t so sure. Her brain keeps playing its old tapes – it keeps reliving the past. It keeps reminding her that life hasn’t always been easy – that it hasn’t always flowed so nicely. It keeps casting a black cloud over her sunny present – a constant reminder that maybe she shouldn’t get too comfortable and maybe she shouldn’t settle into this happiness because it could be taken away at any moment.

And so even though everything externally seems to be going really well for this friend, she hasn’t allowed herself to enjoy it. She keeps waiting for her blue skies to cloud over and for the rain to begin to pour down.

She is almost expecting it.

Can you relate? Are you also waiting for the rain – even if it’s gorgeous sunny days in your world right now, are you anticipating the storm to roll in? 

So many of us are uncomfortable being happy and staying in our own happiness. It can feel so foreign to us. And, if we aren’t conscious of it, we can sabotage this sunny life and settle for one filled with dark skies.

If you can relate, and you’re looking for a way to change this pattern, I would suggest the following:

1. Realize that this is a pattern. And realize that you have the power to change it – to shift away from it – to move in a direction that’s different from the one you’re used to going in.

2. Get really honest with yourself. Do you truly believe that you deserve to be happy? Not at the brain (everyone deserves happiness) level, but at the soul (you are enough) level. Because if you don’t, no amount of awareness and mental shifting is going to help. It’s just not. Unless you honestly can feel your own worthiness and believe in your own worthiness, there is no reason for this pattern to change.

3. Assuming you do believe that you are worthy and you are ready to shift this pattern, you can begin taking steps toward embracing your own happiness and shifting your pattern. Let’s say that something good happens to you – you get promoted or begin a new relationship or feel absolute love from your kids. And now let’s imagine that you feel pure happiness from this good event. And you allow yourself to stay in it. Whenever a thought tries to pop up and shift you away from this happiness, you kindly ask it to keep floating by. You continue focusing on feeling happy. You continue to tell yourself that you deserve this good news and this happiness, and you continue basking in it. And then another thought comes up – one of your “pattern thoughts” – the ones that live in the past and believe that just because something happened before means that it will definitely happen again. So this thought comes up and feels pretty powerful. It grabs your attention, and you feel yourself begin to get sucked into it. You can feel your happiness waning.

This moment is absolutely critical. This is where you’re going to choose your own happiness. This is a huge deal. 

Because it’s in this moment that you can actually change your thought pattern and create a new one. It’s in this moment that you can train your mind to no longer believe that you aren’t deserving of happiness or you aren’t lovable enough to experience it or just because you’re happy now doesn’t mean you’ll always be happy or who do you think you are to be happy. Whatever your thought pattern is, you have the power to change it! Right here in this moment.

You have the ability to create a new thought. One that allows you to be happy. One that believes that you are deserving of it. One that gives you permission to glow from it and bask it in. That kind of thought. You have the ability to replace your old thoughts one by one with self-empowering, loving thoughts that are based on the present moment.

And no, this change probably won’t happen overnight. But if you stick with it and stay conscious, it will happen – little by little. Until one day you’ll look around you and realize that you’re happy. And you’ll see that as a wonderful thing. You’ll realize that you don’t have to wait for the rain – you can dance in the sun! 

That’s what I wish for my friend, and that’s also what I wish for you.

Hugs,

Jodi

 

about jodi
Jodi Chapman is a bestselling author, an award-winning blogger, and a soulful community builder. She lives her life with love and faith in the driver’s seat, and she hopes to leave a trail of inspiration wherever she goes. She believes that we each have the ability to hear our soul’s whisper and create our best lives. She would love to connect with you!

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