Healing and Transformation

pexels“Spiritual bypassing,” as coined by American author and psychologist, John Welwood, is a “tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.” (John Welwood) Spirituality’s shadow is more common than one may think, considering the popularity and expansion of spiritual philosophies (particularly Eastern spirituality) in recent decades, even filtering into the mainstream.

Some distorted behaviourisms that may be aspects of a “spiritual bypass” include emotional numbing, detachment, spaciness, negation of the self, repression of emotions (particularly anger), exaggerated “positive thinking,” a devotion to health fads and special diets, tolerance for bad behaviour, weak boundaries, unbalanced emotional development, lack of moral compass, rejection of the mainstream worldview, self-judgement, an obsession with the shadow self, and delusions of “higher” grandeur (the false notion of having reached or reaching “enlightenment”).

The quick-fix, pain-numbing fashion prevalent at the moment negates truly entering into the cave of facing and working through our pain. Perhaps the collective lack of willingness to seek deeper terrain masks our raw and wild animal within – that ultimately seeks our attention and liberation. The escape of spiritual bypassing has the toxic by-product of feeding the desire for pleasure to avoid our pain. Plastic fast-food spiritual fads like “manifesting,” “tantra,” and the like have become common norms and filled up the vacuum left by the slow disintegration of mainstream religions.

An exploration of the spectrum of worldly to unworldly views can bring deeper insights into human development. Unworldly endeavour can easily morph into distortion, escape and avoidance. It can be an escape to seek comfort amongst the ethereal realm, soon developing into a coping mechanism and strategy for not coping with the human experience. Ultimately, we all hope to advance via acquired wisdom and be effective in our relationships with others. Being too spiritual may mean we are unable to manifest an equilibrium and leave us dissatisfied or feeling empty in our human interactions. Some are walking in another world, or travelling between worlds – or perhaps have arrived at a “higher” state of being by leaving behind human interactions. Who is to say what is a “higher vibration” or any other of the nebulous new-age terms thrown about?

The formless exists usually beyond the capacity to be tested and broken down into materiality. We are not here to be nebulous entities without ego, shape or form – we are here to be human beings, arranged and contained within a physical body.

It is important and at times essential to be able to discern what is avoidance, and what is a core spiritual practice or path towards illumination. Many devotees have found relief and comfort in disembodiment, or not wanting to see what is real. This could be in the form of an escape or merely self-protection from something or someone. Such behaviour can be an act of profound self-compassion, protection and perhaps even reverence. However, in the human experience, it is a disconnection from the embodied experience of being separate, and all the elements of being a soul swimming within a human body. Discernment as always in such matters – will bring light to the darkness – and understanding and clarity to that which is amorphous.

There is no negative judgement in being in a human body and celebrating this human “vessel.” In service of the Divine, we may elevate all that is physical and mundane – and that includes even the most rejected parts of ourselves. Simply put – we are here to learn and grow – the core essentials to evolving the human spirit are empowered by having strong fundamentals in place.

Those who seek “escape” and do not wish to face their demons – to face themselves in the mirror naked – to deal with their personal woundings (or “crap” in crude terms) – are only fooling themselves and others. Or perhaps they are not ready to embrace their humanness just yet. The opposite of integration is disintegration, and sometimes we need to disintegrate before we can put ourselves together “whole” again. A simile would be in the way that we sometimes need to go into our darkness fully before we are ready to come out into the light. The darkness is not an unresponsive or apathetic state as it is merely a pathway to experience other aspects of self. These are vast cosmic entities that require experiencing and ultimately liberating in the way that a boy does not become a man without some sort of experience of catharsis.

On a bright morning after being up the whole night struggling through the cocoon, a small hole appears and the butterfly starts to emerge from its chrysalis. The butterfly must struggle on its own for its wings to emerge fully developed. If one were to try to help it break through its cocoon, one would be rendering it lame, essentially killing it. This is an analogy that highlights how we learn most by independent experience – and it can paradoxically be damaging to instruct too much. The keys to support others in their growth are understanding, patience and the wisdom of knowing when to let go as self-development happens in multiple ways, often beyond our understanding. It is important to be open to new perspectives – so we are able to change the way we view things.

John Welwood points out that “being a good spiritual practitioner can become…a compensatory identity that covers up and defends against an underlying deficient identity, where we feel badly about ourselves, not good enough, or basically lacking.” In this way, our spiritual practice promotes the denial of our wounds and becomes our self-defence. As well as the public elements of showing ourselves to be a spiritual devotee, there is also the bypassing of issues pertaining to living in the world as a human being. Further, it can be a compartmentalised and not integrated into real life.

Grounding of ourselves in our bodies and in the present moment context requires confronting the reality of what it is we are here to do. If we rigidly cling to spiritual beliefs that are dreamy, wishful or unrealistic, it can only further our sense of being fractured and separated from the world.

Many reach seemingly advanced levels of spiritual practice, whether it be within the religious fold, yogic, Buddhist or other path. The question for all seekers of spiritual truths, is whether they were able to circumnavigate the mysteries of existence without circumventing their own personal issues – whether they were able to heal their wounds and develop themselves fully on a personal, emotional and relational level.

Have our spiritual beliefs helped us evolve or were they our tool to avoid having to deal with painful feelings?



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David G Starlyte (ND) – Australia’s Leading Soul-Coach. PERSONAL SESSIONS NOW AVAILABLE VIA SKYPE (Email me for details:

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Aloha is a traditional Hawaiian greeting for hello and goodbye. The word, aloha is made up of “alo” meaning presence or face, and “ha” meaning breath. Aloha is translated into the “breath of life” or the “presence of breath.” The meaning of aloha brings an essential message in terms of how we relate to ourselves and to others.

Why is breath so significant? How does it represent a spirit of harmony and mutual respect? In traditional cultures connected to Mother Earth, why was the breath honoured as sacred and connected to affection?

Breath connects us to life itself. It is the neutral space between light and dark, life and death, constantly journeying between expansion and contraction, opening and closing. Breath is our barometer of what is occuring inside our internal field, yet it moves beyond our inner boundaries.

When we are in synch with each other, we start to subconsciously breathe together.

When we are not breathing sufficiently, we are feeling unwell, tired, anxious and depressed. The source of these maladies is simply disconnection—disconnection to ourselves, disconnection to life itself. We don’t need to go searching on the outside for answers.

If there’s only one thing to remember for the rest of your life (out of the thousands of words, ideas, expressions wanting to be noticed), it is to breathe. Breathe wholly, truly, deeply, lovingly, blissfully, peacefully. The breathe will always reflect what goes on within. It can also radically alter the entire internal landscape from which one views the world, and one’s feeling centre.

Our feelings are not always controllable.

Watch when your tendency may be to react, see what arises. What is there? Develop these sensors as they are like internal gold. Self-control is important for so-called spiritual people to be the embodiment of spiritual principles. There is a missing piece if one is not able to act out of integrity; if love is missing from our response.

“Self-realization is not complete until it lives in action.” ~ Byron Katie

Breath is the meeting point between life and death, between the spiritual world and human embodiment. To counter-balance the yearning for union with breath is the arising issue of ego identification.

I’ve had a few “egos” attacking or belittling me. What made these attacks surprising was that it came not from “ordinary” folk, but from people claiming to be healers or light-workers. I do not claim to be enlightened. Like everyone else, I am learning and evolving.

I would encourage everyone to understand that we are all together as souls advancing, unifying, expanding, evolving, and that we don’t always get it right. My communication is not always going to be understood; nobody is perfect. We have misunderstandings.

We are fed intelligence all the time. How do we respond to the feedback, to the stimuli we receive–with resistance or acceptance?

The emotion that often causes provocation is fear. Fear can be a strong harbinger of change. Watch how feelings overpower balance or common-sense. Observe how an emotional response takes over the wisdom of the spiritual intellect.

Reactiveness is a symptom of not being present, of not having developed discernment, yet mostly it shows that we are not breathing fully. Our suffering begins with this resistance – this battle with the reality that has presented itself. If we are not able to observe with neutrality, we can easily fight with the present moment. If we are not able to breathe, we can be easily pulled away from awareness.

If you feel triggered, seek awareness first. Take a few deep breaths before reacting.

“With awareness there comes choice. And so you are able to say: “I allow this moment to be as it is.” And then, suddenly, where before there was irritation, there is now a sense of aliveness and peace. And out of that comes right action.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

Misunderstandings are part of what makes us human. Let’s join together to share and celebrate our differences and not be dismissive or territorial or jealous of one another. If you feel angry, learn from it. Expand and evolve with it by seeing the inherent lesson. This is our path as human beings. All paths are valid—paths to the one.

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.” ~ Thích Nhất Hạnh’s

We have a shared experience in being alive, being in physical bodies (male, female, or something in between). Many of the things that make us human are common to us all, like the need to be loved, touched, held, supported, connected to other people. We all come from the same root, but the tree of humanity has different leaves that reflect a multitude of races and cultures.

So-called “spiritual” people occupy the same body and have the exact-same needs as everyone else. They are also party to the ego (false self), to identifying selfishly with their own feelings. Spiritual people can be just as reactive as anyone else, and often violently so.

What does it mean to be “spiritual?”

There is no universal definition. There are many shades, many opinions, and it is accurate to say that all versions are valid. Teachings come along at times for a short time, they may be valid and applicable for a period, and then become irrelevant, especially when the lesson is learned. Teachers share their truth, and most of us move between teachers and teachings and hopefully, in time, find our own way. And in this way, graduate to become teachers.

We are all here to share and create our own human experience, to tell our own story. We are always creating on some level, as powerful co-creators.

We are the same and yet also uniquely different. Just like each ice crystal has the same properties yet manifests differently. As evolving beings, we are here to experience all shades of feeling.

When we empty our minds, we sense the openness and freedom of light, and wisdom rushes in.
Such a flow is effortless much like a waterfall flows freely because it is unblocked, because water is formless, much like breath is formless.

Me to We…

This is the power of “going with the flow.”

In non-resistance to feeling and observing, we reach transcendence, our mind becomes clear. In a state of allowance, all is welcomed to be felt, aligned and experienced. If we align our judgements, then naturally and effortlessly, peace is engendered. This path is the way to clarity, to allow what is presenting, and hence not only to find peace, but to embody peace.

For ultimately, spiritual living in action is called peace. Peace is the natural state of all beings. As children of the light, it is our birthright to be peaceful.

As children of Earth, it is our birthright to breathe. Let’s not battle each other—let’s breathe together.


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David G Starlyte (ND) – Australia’s Leading Soul-Coach.

Find out more about me:
Facebook: davidstarlyte“Science cannot solve the ultimate mystery of nature. And that is because, in the last analysis, we ourselves are a part of the mystery that we are trying to solve.” ~ Max Planck

We are all agents of consciousness.

In Australian Aboriginal tradition, one of the oldest religious beliefs still practised today, Dreamtime (the Dreaming) is how the world is continually created. The sacred Rainbow Serpent—a creator god—connects the rainbow and the snake who share a common shape, distilling the season’s cycles, representing water as an essential part of life, and reminding us of God through the vastness of the sky.

The Serpent is viewed as a provider and creator of life through water, its lyrical shape and movement is its life-force, its power to strike is the immense force of Nature. A Rainbow seen across the sky is the rainbow serpent moving between waterholes. An angry or vengeful serpent will bring natural disasters like drought, flood, thunder, lightning and bush fires. The Serpent deity rules via water, meandering across the landscape creating rivers, streams, waterways and lakes on its journey from the hills down to the ocean.

The immense Serpent created the Earth fashioned from the ground up into sculptural forms, ridges and gorges.The Australian Aboriginal people feel the full force and thrust of Nature—it is alive in their tradition. “Everywhen” denotes the here and now, which is past, present and future co-existing as one without separation.

Mystery is always tangible for them, it breathes into their souls, it animates them.

The concept of dreaming creation into being is not only an Aboriginal one, it’s common to many ancient cultures.

Only God and Man can create out of dreams.

Ancient Egyptians used dream temples, which were healing centres or hospitals under the guidance of Imhotep, High Priest of Ra, the sun god. These dream temples apparently focused on the psychology of the mind, chanting for trance or hypnosis, dream analysis, meditation, fasting, and sacrifices to the spirit gods. Similarly, the ancient Greeks and Romans built sleep temples. Greek healing temples were called Asclepieion, which focused on healing prayers to Asclepios, the God of Medicine.

When we explore our cultural history and lost civilisations, we can unearth something about ourselves, perhaps forgotten in layers of subconscious miasma. We can rediscover our profound connection to Nature and our own role in the creation of our inner and outer worlds. We can explore dreaming and consciousness and engage with our power of now. Aboriginal rites may have been painted by Western historians as “primitive”—yet that only diminishes us if we see the world through such myopic eyes. In fact, the author and scientist, Fred Alan Wolf, has a theory that dreaming is the basis of consciousness—through dreaming, we are able to create and manifest a sense of ourselves. Perhaps our Aboriginal fore-bearers had the more accurate understanding of the world, and Western ideology was really the “primitive” one?

The dreamtime is alive and well and we are always invited to experience its eloquence.

Imagine for a moment being released by all acquired identities and transported into the dreamtime. Stepping out of body, going up a few levels to a place of spirit beyond space and time, where there are no definitions of right and wrong and definitely no “should” or “shouldn’t,” “ifs” or “buts!” I like to describe this infinite space of possibility as the mind of Creator. In this wonderful playground of consciousness, I am no thing, nothing. I can play, dancing with the infinite, being a Game-master. Since there are no rules, I cannot make mistakes. I float freely in pure spirit—weightless and formless, I dance without a body, with no agenda, without gender, history or future, and all is fun. I am at one with all Creation. In this space, there is pure harmony.

Holding a sacred space with Creator, I am in the Divine womb being purified. In this way, I spiritually experience myself and the world in a new way, so I may come out elevated and my consciousness expanded. I may come to understand people and myself from a new, higher perspective. I may have many realisations about how I have been viewing and etching my reality.

Coming down a few levels, I return back to my Earthly body and get sucked back into this vortex and ground myself into the Earth, embracing my human-ness. I may still go back into the dreamtime whenever is appropriate. What is important to take from my experience in the dreaming, is to look and see with my heart, to lead in all areas from the heart. If one sees from the heart, one will find it all. Compassion and devotion will expand naturally.

In this earthly realm, we believe in space and time (past, present and future). Everything about this planet seems so real. However, if we take ourselves up a few notches, we realise we are spirit having a human experience, and the entire creation is a hologram of consciousness.

Our cognitive empowerment does not always equate to our physical, emotional and spiritual selves. There can be a disconnect between manifesting our ideal life and the pivot point of the present, where we meet this moment in time. In other words—whilst we may feel ourselves as spiritual beings, the reality we meet may differ vastly from the peace, tranquility and love we wish to experience.We are a human vessel within the hologram. We are a cell within the Gaia consciousness, within the collective mind.

Since there are so many aspects to our beingness—to who we are as human beings—we are always playing a balancing act, sculpting our reality like fine masters, yet also succumbing to the physical structures and events in place, and the agendas of other sets or clusters of consciousness. Since the time we think is real is pure illusion, it’s like our whole world that seems so real, is actually merely a mask created by and for consciousness, constantly changing and infinite in all directions. All that remains is the power of now—the now that is really eternity.

The “human” experience of “reality,” identification with the ego, and the carrying of so many symbols and thought-constructs of who and what we are (none of which are real)—involves a temporary body living on borrowed time. The physical world we create for ourselves is a self-deception. It is only the soul that we take with us, it is only the soul that is long-lasting and our link to the infinite, the Divine.

Whatever dramas we face are always and perpetually self-created to facilitate growth and healing.

Whatever experiences touch our lives, however complete they may seem from our point of view, are part of the narrative of the mind. Experiences are moods of the elements, like the movements of the moon and the sun. As seriously as we take life, from this point of view, life is change itself—consciousness at play and becoming aware of itself. Infinite creations and infinite alternatives exist in all dimensions.

We are merely vessels of consciousness.

To be human means to live within a created reality, that although technically is an illusion, feels so densely physical and plays according to physical rules like gravity. Masters of creation could play with this unity field, as they knew it was not real. Since we think it is real, it shows itself to be very real. If you run through a wall, you may find yourself on the ground in pain. Be careful with these ideas, as only someone who has not invested in this construct of reality, the belief that we are physical, is able to shape-shift, to levitate, to walk on water.

Game-changers are not attached to the illusion and therefore can move beyond the collective energetic matrix.

The energy we have collected communicates to us in thought-forms that align with our belief system and soul consciousness. How does one break through from these belief systems?

In awareness, we may release identification with those aspects of ourselves out of harmony, healing all dissonance and creating new frontiers that are already here in other dimensions. Knowing is not enough—we have to embody and live it too—we have to understand the signature of the reality we wish to create.

Since all that we experience is a function of consciousness, all energy that is created by consciousness may become part of the eternal now. Consciously creating is simply believing something and expecting it to be realised—the timeline is up to what we believe it should be.

As we weave ourselves through the Divine matrix, we become more self-aware and gradually co-exist with change as masters of creation.

Enjoy the dreaming!




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David G Starlyte (ND) – Australia’s Leading Soul-Coach.

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Facebook: davidstarlyte day, another massacre.

An explosion of innocence, as fear spreads to the collective, and darkness falls—there is little escape from the maelstrom.

Whether gay, Jewish, Hindu, Western, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist or secular, there is always a new target and justification for unjustifiable violence. How can we dance when the sky is burning?

Why do we pretend our religions are perfect and beyond reproach? Humanity’s evolution is slowed by religions more than any other factor. Every religion struggles to understand the new environment of terror. Muslim sympathisers struggle to come to terms with the hijacking of their “peaceful” religion, and confusion descends in the West.

How do we understand inherently violent religions and come to terms with them, sanitise them and gentrify them for Western tastes? Have we tested our left-wing theories and actually studied religious texts and history?

Christianity has somehow emerged more palatable in the West. The violence and ethnic cleansing seen in the Bible on the basis of the claim of divine revelation to murder inspired the Crusades and and other atrocities. See:

Are religions a force for good in the world?

The misconception that we shouldn’t judge a religion by its followers needs to be critically evaluated. The relevance of religions that include hatred and extremism in their “holy” books also requires careful analysis. Is it appropriate to whitewash Islam, which is the quintessence of multiplicity, having little knowledge of Mohammed, the Qu’ran and the history of Islam?

The truth is we are all victims of extremist religions, their dogma and our out-dated obsession with so-called revelations and words fixed in “holy” books from hundreds or thousands of years ago. We are all suffering directly due to the effect of ignorance and disempowerment sparked by religions. Blind faith can only seem attractive if one is unable to think for oneself, to seek evidence and apply common sense.

There is an inherent danger when we turn to religions for answers without applying critical analysis. What is to be gained by clinging to old ideas, cultures and religious cliques that have held back progress for generations; suppressed women, education and scientific advancement?

Within the Judeo-Christian tradition, we have a clear biblical justification for sexism, genocide, ethnic cleansing, racism, homophobia, and slavery. (See below)

The Bible contains numerous references to human rights abuses. It also elevates men into positions of power over women, and condones overt or subtle oppression of women, at least in the consciousness of humanity. It spreads the message of domination over nature—forming the nexus between Western capitalism and globalisation of Western values (i.e., Consumerism).

If a religion calls for murder in the name of God, then find a new religion. God is not perverted. God never favoured men over women, nor issued final prophecies or revelations to the “chosen” elite. God never told us to destroy nature so that we may achieve short-term wealth. We are all children of a higher power. As the offspring of creation we carry the divine spark within. As messengers with a soul, we are the harbingers of new possibilities, change and a new consciousness spreading and emanating from love. This evolution would be a revolution of love if we took religious distortions out of the field. Instead we are going through a violent reformation.

We feel a sense of disconnection and hence seek to belong. Spiritually, if there is no developed sense of identity, role-modeling and embodiment of spiritual values, the void is filled by emptiness and false prophets.

We belong already—we are already whole, sacred, divine, complete.

Cascading fears and doubts arise to the surface whilst young disaffected youths cry out for freedom, and lured in by the passion of extremist ideology, they are deceived into fighting for the apocalypse and destroying the “infidels” of the West. Fueled by testosterone and the need to find expression and fight oppression, they only become victims of ignorance and dogma, victims of nefarious clerics of hatred.

Religions have traditionally played an important role in spreading fear and suppressing people from reaching their true potential. Whilst some good has been done in the name of religion, overall most religious rhetoric seems to disconnect people from their divinity and disempower their spirits. It teaches people to follow “truths” because prophets walked the stars and were “above and beyond” them. Always, the message is to be found and clarified within a book, within the words of the “sages.” Always, religious leaders come along and interpret the words for their own agendas. Always, ignorance is victorious and people cling to the “words” out of blind faith, or desperation.

It does feel safer to know that the truth is written in a book. It means not having to think for yourself. When God came along and chose your people and your religion, then you are “chosen” by God, you are special, and more special than other people.

So we see more ignorance and hypocrisy and the disconnection and removal of common-sense, self-responsibility, equality, harmony, self-empowerment.

If you’re forced to follow some laws written by some “guru” from thousands of years ago, it’s hard to feel your own authority. Rather than being our own authority figures and learning to think and differentiate for ourselves in a plural and changing environment, religions teach us not to think for ourselves, but rather to follow a dogma that is the intractable “word of God” according to them.

Even the most intelligent people fall for the aura of religious authority. We are all the victims of religions that deny our humanity and seek scapegoats for their own indiscretions, instead of teaching and practising self-responsibility. We may be collective victims, yet we are individually responsible to spread awareness, as you cannot enslave a liberated mind.

Humanity’s evolution is being hijacked by the traditional forces of religions countering progress and advancement and celebrating old-world philosophies and dogma. We are not labels (black, white, gay, Muslim, Christian)—we are human beings. Even the Bible selectively proclaims our divinity:

“I say, ‘You are gods;

you are all children of the Most High.’”

~ Psalms: 82:6, Holy Bible, New Living Translation

Our role on the planet is to raise the frequency of peace, love and compassion from within. As Mohandas Gandhi taught, “Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.”

Outside of the energy of fear, we have bountiful reminders that expand our ability to worship the Creator, to raise one’s affirmations to the stars. The only true religion is love. Uniting against hatred is not to pretend that hatred doesn’t exist—it is to raise and elevate human possibility, to reach for greater achievements—more love, more forgiveness, more grace—not for ephemeral, vain and selfish attainments like revenge.

Now is the time to be the elevation.

Illumination comes from stillness. Peace arises naturally after a storm has swept across the landscape. One cannot force peace. It’s important to recognise that spreading the message of peace expands the vibration of peace. Then it follows that peace lives in our actions.

We will arise like doves again from the ashes renewed and reinvigorated, ready to love all that is with our passion undimmed. We will step into the light again, this time taking all of humanity with us.


Selected Biblical Quotes:


“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour.

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

~ Ephesians 5:22-6:9, New International Version

Ethnic Cleansing?

“You must completely destroy the Hittites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites, and Jebusites, just as the Lord your God has commanded you.”

~ Deuteronomy 20:17, New Living Translation


“Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy all that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.’”

~ 1 Samuel 15:3, New International Version

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No Copyright Infringement Intended.
What do you think? Feel free to comment down below!
You are awesome as you are, and I love you!
And if you love me back, please click ‘share’ up at the top!

David G Starlyte (ND) – Australia’s Leading Soul-Coach.

Find out more about me:
Facebook: davidstarlyte