Healing and Transformation

Via PixaBay

When I was much younger, I remember being mesmerised by adult interactions. Not for the content, what interested me more was the emotional responses. I couldn’t understand why certain ideas would create vehement emotions, often with seemingly instantaneous and irrational exuberance. It made no sense why adults took themselves so seriously, and stuck to emotional and thought-patterns that seemed intractable. It seemed more dangerous than thought was. Even the most unfeigned emotions gathered pace and at times, the result was anarchy.

As I developed, I notice it wasn’t just emotions that were unstable, sometimes mercurial, and often irrational. I started to understand and experience the range of thought-systems around me, and the amazing certainty adults had about particular ideas.

Why do people believe their thoughts or feelings?

Or perhaps a better question – why do they take so seriously their thoughts or feelings?

When we are believing thoughts or strung by feelings, we are not experiencing life as it is, Endless Openess. We fall into grace when we let go of the pull of the mind and become what the author Adyashanti calls “emptiness dancing.”

It is not that thoughts or feelings are not valid – they are always valid. Yet when we take them as reality, then that is when we suffer. This preoccupation with forms as we experience them has the potential to spiral into an abyss of our creation.

The moment a thought comes into our mind, it limits our experience and takes us out of the opportunity of being in the present moment, true reality.

We tend to see our patterns as stuck in concrete, unchangeable realities, when in fact any pattern can be changed or at least, adjusted. The personality is not set in stone.

What is it to be endless openess, free of personality and closed concepts of the self? Then we can move within life from a space that is full of love.

Adyashanti points out that,“When we believe what we think, when we take our thinking to be reality, we will suffer.”

According to this concept, we are suffering simply by believing our thoughts to be real. I would qualify that with it depends on the quality of our thoughts and whether it is appropriate to keep repeating the same ones. Some thoughts can actually create peace. The core takeaway idea is that thoughts are not real. Thoughts are not unchangeable. Thoughts are only signposts to show us patterns in our personality and non-acceptance of past experiences. A similar argument can be made and understanding reached about our feelings, because thoughts and feelings are intertwined.

What about the quality of our thoughts?

Underlying our unwholesome thoughts, is the feeling of not being whole – not being part of the whole creation. Deep within the recesses of our subconsciousness, the seed of unworthiness has been planted by traditional religions.

Much angst is caused by disconnection – disconnection to others, disconnection to ourselves and our intrinsic nature, and linked to all of these – is disconnection to life itself, or God nature. It is we who have created a primitive version of God nature that is dark, jealous and vengeful. God is not dark – it is we who have judged ourselves – it is we who have collected shame and guilt through judging our nature and our behaviour as unworthy or unforgivable. Poet, Rainer Maria Rilke famously wrote: “Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.”

We are here to be, not to do – we are here in love.

Because our social conditioning has brainwashed us into believing that “doing” is more important than “being” and more than that, that “being” is a character flaw, we are struggling with the pressure to “do” more. The basic void is in our self-identity as not being good, not being worthy enough. We start from this feeling of lack, a deficit in perception. We are feeling we are not and have not achieved enough. The source of these trends comes from the over-dominance of the left-hemisphere of our brain versus the right. A left-brain functioning society views feeling and being in our bodies as “lesser” than manifesting or achieving some goal.

By such thinking, the perfection of imperfection and the wholeness of being alive is diminished.

Would a loving God frown on us for being less than who we are for not having achieved some social status or monetary goal?

It is how we are perceiving ourselves that is at fault – and the whole capitalist marketing system that is based on creating demand. It is a simple strategy to send the message – ‘you are not enough’ – and hence need a branded product to feel OK.

Outside of consumerism, where would we be as a society?

If we refine our idea of joy and fulfilment, it leads us down the path of consuming less and residing in more spaciousness, increasing the room we allow for silence. If achievement defines our self-identity and meaning defines our goals, through a spiritual “sadhana” practice, we can shift our identity into something more pure, refined and long-lasting.

Then we can move within life with the wisdom of humility and the courage of love, from a space that is full of love. It is the empty space that is abandoned that feeds unhealthy behaviours. The cultivation of one’s internal space is much like a garden. It can be cared for and developed and made into something beautiful, or neglected and the weeds allowed to take over.

It takes mental agility to reframe our self-view and a willingness to morph our view that the personality is unadaptable. It takes a new way of seeing things, to remove the barriers and step forward into a new sense of self.

Nisargadatta Maharaj offers a spiritual guideline of what life may look like on the other side of ego:

“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing,
Love is knowing I am everything,
and between the two my life moves.”

The key guideline is to simplify one’s sense of self, be open to change the understanding of what we considered our intractable “personality” – and not take too seriously any particular thought or feeling – to welcome in the fresh pastures of love for ourselves and compassion for others. As one invites in new possibility and the potential for changing personality traits and habits, one enters the field of endless openess.



Photo Credits: Via PixaBay

What do you think – or feel? Feel free to comment down below!
You are awesome as you are, and I love you!
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David Starlyte (ND) – Australia’s Leading Soul-Coach. PERSONAL SESSIONS NOW AVAILABLE VIA SKYPE (Email me for details:

Find out more about me:
Facebook: davidstarlyte live in a state of constant flux, yet we suffer with dreams of permanence. We are like flowers who never knew that we were OKAY, so constantly search for external colour and reach for unreachable dreams. We are like blossoms that can never see our blossoming. Because we are too busy looking outside of ourselves, we never contemplate in silence our true nature.

What is the nature of beauty – is it veneer – or a quality of depth far beyond any surface level?

If you look closely at a flower, you will experience a deep love, a deep peace, and a deep acceptance of its essence. This is our nature as human beings. Flowers of the living breath, flowers of God, flowers of everlasting love. Inherently we are goodness experiencing itself – it is only our experiences and environments that could withdraw us from our true nature.

What is the nature of suffering – does it belong to the nature of the thing made to suffer?

The nature of a person’s life is influenced by a myriad factors from the environment in which he/she lives, his/her experiences, to the intrinsic nature of a person, and so on. The concept of moksha – or liberation – is the salvation from the maya (illusion) into self-actualisation and self-realization. Liberty is always within reach, corresponding to the limitlessness of human experience. The warmth of being alive, of being an emotional being undergoing a variety of experiences, is essential to our unfolding. Moksha is not a cold experience, it is a living experience.

First, we must face and surrender our fears, and then we will grow beyond the “limited self.” Self-love is a perpetual quality that develops our self-worth and understanding. If we are not compassionate towards ourselves, then we do not understand compassion. If we are not loving towards ourselves, then we do not understand love.

Awakening from the trance of unworthiness, is the gateway to living freely and achieving our life-purpose.

Growing up in South Africa, I felt like a stranger in a strange land. All around me people were going about their lives and I was perpetually wondering where I fit in in the world. It was to be one of the themes of my life, understanding constructive freedom, questioning and reflecting on the nature of life. I was also caught up in the maelstrom of history. Events around us seem so real and important. From racial disharmony, apartheid to the struggle against apartheid and ultimately its removal as official Government policy, I went through many changes. As the myriad external shifts unfolded, it was more notable to feel the shifts (or lack thereof) in people’s hearts. As a child, how is one to identify or misidentify with collective racism and racist policies? Growing up in an elitist culture, is one able to feel the suffering of the underprivileged? As an empath, how does one self-protect when around us there is discord?

As the country went through its trauma, and started to rebuild, it became clear that the problems were far more deep-seated than mere policy. In most cases, the elitism of the past is ongoing, and has continued to arrest the country’s advancement.

Sadly, unworthiness is so deep-rooted in the culture of the majority, it continues to cause a crippling pain. What surprised me more, was to realise that unworthiness is at the root of the privileged class, who economically tower above their brethren. Why else would they hold on to their wealth with such terror in their souls, and inflict suffering on the whole society by hoarding wealth?

The country is not suffering just because the poor suffer. It is suffering also because the rich suffer. Carl Jung brings this sharply into focus if one applies this idea to the collective, “The unfaced and unfelt parts of our psyche are the source of all neurosis and suffering.”

The rejected parts of a society cause a collective suffering in the ethos or matrix of the community.

Rumi encourages us to face this closeted wound, humanity’s shadow as individuals, “Don’t turn away. Keep your eyes on the bandaged place. That’s where the light enters you.”

At the deepest level, we are Source Energy experiencing and becoming conscious of itself. However, as human beings, our greatest obstacle to inner peace is self-doubt and a lack of self-love. I speak to many people who believe themselves small, and sometimes wish to disappear. That is not what we are here to be and to do. We are light-warriors as well as luminous beings.

It is the abandoned and rejected parts of ourselves that prevent us from feeling whole and complete. They are in essence illusory, yet our belief in them animates them. It is our story that keeps them alive.

The first step to our liberation is to have right perception of whom and what we are, and then to accept ourselves. Carl Rogers writes: “The curious paradox is when I can accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

The shadows are alive within, because we do not wish to, or are not ready to face them. When we face them, we can slay the dragon. The dragon just asks for our love, and in our love, it melts. God, as the essence of love, is alive within us. The Divine is not separate and never was separate. When we love unconditionally from the heart, we see all the misperceptions, and realise that love is alive within us, and that means we are beautiful as we are. It does not mean that we cannot improve; yet when we come from a whole and accepting space, it is the wellspring for future possibilities.

Embracing metta (loving-kindness) for all beings begins with ourselves. Loving and accepting all that we are, we liberate ourselves from the torment of not believing in or valuing ourselves. That is our freedom calling, and our invitation to experience more than we have allowed ourselves to before.


Photo Credits: Via Flickr
What do you think – or feel? Feel free to comment down below!
You are awesome as you are, and I love you!
And if you love me back, please click ‘share’ up at the top!

David Starlyte (ND) – Australia’s Leading Soul-Coach. PERSONAL SESSIONS NOW AVAILABLE VIA SKYPE (Email me for details:

Find out more about me:
Facebook: davidstarlyte

David Starlyte Original Painting, 2017 As a child, a member of my family would frequently burst into rage. He had bouts of anger so destructive and extreme, he became like a raging inferno.

I learnt early on that you cannot reason with emotion.

You cannot try to reason with senseless outbursts, or violence. You cannot try to think your way out of insanity. If someone is irrational, let them be. Find a way to walk away, hide away, or stay far away.

In my experience, it wasn’t always easy to completely avoid him, but when the blaze was bursting, I could usually find a safe place hidden away from view. I developed this strategy at an early age, and in some respects and at certain times, that strategy is still in use.

There is a certain distance and sometimes disengagement with the world that keeps me safe. It’s helpful for all people on the planet right now, particularly in some areas, to shield ourselves from potential dangers. Keeping the framework and understanding that outside of the illusion that surrounds us, we can imagine, find and create our own world—so long as we don’t become numb (as that would be a pity) to our feelings.

I recently had an engagement with a woman on Facebook that interested me from an emotional perspective. I could see that her feelings were hurt, as she was desperately clinging to her ego identity, holding on so strongly to her feelings. Her pain-body was activated, and most of her consciousness was swallowed up by that pain. Being a person with strong feelings, she couldn’t sit outside those emotions—she was unable to engage with other perspectives.

When emotions hit hard, they are the most powerful forces known to human experience.

It is near-impossible to engage with emotions by rationale. Reasoning with the unreasonable is simply impractical. Throwing words at a tsunami won’t get you far.

What she was originally upset about doesn’t really matter. She felt rejected, and in that cage of suffering, her best method of defending herself was to turn it around on me and play the blame game.

When meeting another in relationship, there is a moment when their trauma or drama is engaged. Some will “fight” or go into “flight” mode, others will simply freeze. Deep within the core of our being are emotional responses developed from generations of evolution. If left unconscious, these emotions stay dormant outside our awareness, beyond our ability to witness them. Once they are triggered, it is already too late to reconfigure them.

Within a relational setting, how does one approach the emotional world—do we walk away or engage with it?

When your desires aren’t met, it can easily lead to frustration, blame and anger. The feeling of being in control—or its counterpart, being out of control—feeds the insanity that tells us we need to constantly be in control. Hence the frequent manipulation that happens in exchanging energy with people.

The cycle of blame starts with a feeling: I am feeling X.

On some level, this awareness shifts into a thought: Something or somebody has caused me to feel X. Why are my needs not being met? It must be someone else’s fault.

It is self-indulgent to believe that because we are feeling pain, it is somebody else’s fault.

Blame arises and leads to anger, but also the self-righteous notion that there is justification in blaming another person for our feelings. Self-responsibility requires a person to see absolutely that they are responsible for their own feelings.

In Falling into Grace, Adyashanti writes, “If you listen to people interact, at the very instant they get sucked into a vortex, you’ll hear them start to blame, condemn, try to control each other.”

This wheel of suffering, or samsara as the Buddha called it, is a vortex of suffering that is so compulsive and feels so real, we plant ourselves deep into its roots and get sucked into the false reality it reveals.

The only way to shift out of this egoic dreamstate is to become aware of it. When we are aware of its power, it no longer has complete control over us, just like an addict, once aware of his addiction, at least begins to have some ability to listen to another channel, or de-program the hypnosis of addiction.

The low vibration of fear and anger holds us hostage, keeps us stuck in a holding pattern of suffering with no hope of release or resolution. The more we look to someone else to satisfy our ego needs, the less power we have, and the more desperate we become. It is a pathway to emptiness and increasing unhappiness. It can never be truly fulfilled by another person, as the lack is within, inside, separate from externalities. We can never escape ourselves.

Coming back to my personal experience: how does one relate to emotions—especially when the pain-body has been triggered and we’ve entered into a field of irrationality we can’t control?

First, trying to “control” it only makes it worse, pouring fuel on the fire. So what did I do? I initially attempted to engage with the emotion, got nowhere and then retreated. When I felt the person’s behaviour had become toxic, I completely withdrew.

My concern with this woman was that her pain-body was all too easily activated, and being so easily triggered, it would make relating to her challenging. If one is too reactive, it usually falls quickly into toxicity, or in this case just too difficult to deal with. Since she has a strong sense of self-importance, when her feelings are hurt it’s a big deal in her heart and mind. She hasn’t yet developed the ability to look at people’s intentions, and develop equanimity rather than reactivity. Or to take responsibility for how she is feeling, and not project them outwards on others and blame them for her feelings. I did not see any recognition or ability on her part to have a conscience awareness of her behaviour.

I felt tremendous love for this person, even though I stepped away. I just didn’t know another way. The wounded child in her just wants to be accepted, loved and embraced. I can transmute her pain only so much by forgiveness.

The reason I share this story is not to be judgmental of her feelings. They are okay. It is the behaviour that comes with those feelings that are difficult for me to engage with. In addition, this is about my ability to discern what I want to manifest in my life, create boundaries around what is within the realm of acceptable behaviour or not, and keep my bubble of reality sacred and peaceful.

As a teacher, perhaps I failed her, or perhaps some day she will learn something from my “lesson.”

She genuinely believed that I was the cause of her suffering. How could I awaken her from believing that I was the cause of her feelings, and the thoughts she created and imagined around those feelings were not real?

Speaking of his childhood insights (epiphany!), Adyshanti also writes:

“What I realized was that adults spent a lot of time thinking, and and more important than that—and more odd, it seemed to me—they actually believed what they were thinking. They believed the thoughts in their head.”

What gives rise to suffering is a sense of self and a story created by the mind, called ego. This is the ego identity we created as infants to keep us safe. As we develop into adults, it starts to limit our growth, keeping us separate and disconnecting us from our whole connection to life. A dog can feel pain and disquiet, yet it does not hold onto its feelings perpetually—it does not reside in alienation. Animals experience life as vast happenings that they are intrinsically a part of.

“When we see ourselves as essentially separate, then we start to think that I have to take care of ‘me,’ that my needs and my wants are of utmost importance, and so we have to make sure that we get what we want, irrespective of what someone else may want or need.” ~ Adyashanti

It’s not that thoughts and feelings are meaningless, it’s just that we are the meaning-creators. We are the ones filling the void with a life that expresses who we are. If we are unable to separate from our creations and be aware of the expansive consciousness beyond that, we may become lost in our creations, lost in our feelings, and lost in our thoughts.

The way out of the vortex of suffering is to develop a dialogue with that part of you that is suffering.

Speak to the rage, speak to the suffering.

Start a conversation—it may surprise you how the relationship will develop.


Photo Credits: Original painting supplied by the author.
What do you think – or feel? Feel free to comment down below!
You are awesome as you are, and I love you!
And if you love me back, please click ‘share’ up at the top!

David Starlyte (ND) – Australia’s Leading Soul-Coach. PERSONAL SESSIONS NOW AVAILABLE VIA SKYPE (Email me for details:

Find out more about me:
Facebook: davidstarlyte“Revolution is not a one-time event.” —Audre Lorde

It has been interesting to follow the aftermath of the US election.

While times of change and upheaval may seem negative, there are far more potential positives to initiate, depending on one’s perception.

It has been surprising how pessimistic some have felt about Donald Trump’s win. Alarmists have even claimed this signals the end of the world, or nearly. Also surprising is how many people are still being taken in by the illusion of the media, the facade of politics and the democratic process in general, especially in two-party systems, where the actual point of decision is so narrow.

World politics is not what is seems. There is a real shift happening, starting with the upheaval that has been going on, in truth, for many decades. All of nature occurs in patterns and we are in the middle of a spiritual flowering—an awakening of consciousness.

The previous regime in America promised change—every second word that came out of Obama’s mouth was change! However, little substantial change was delivered, especially not to working-class people. The power elite continued; demonisation and racism continued even though the President is part African-American himself.

Is it any surprise that a system so invested in serving the interests of the establishment, is going to put helping the average person low on its priorities? What was typically dished up were promises and lies. This should have alerted people to the dishonesty of politicians and the problems inherent within the system. If there was any trust left, then I would have thought that would have been blasted out of the sky with the two most unpopular candidates in history vying for power (Clinton and Trump).

Yet this disenchantment with the status quo has led to a tearaway candidate.

The mood on the streets is one that is demanding real change. Yet, the change sought on the external level will not come until people awaken to their true power within, cease looking outside themselves, and disconnect from the deception that there is someone more powerful who will help them. There is a biblical guideline to remember: “God helps those who help themselves!” Believing in the delusion of power—and the resulting powerlessness of people to stand up for what they believe in—is not the practice of spiritual revolutionaries who are autonomous.

Are we forging real change? And if so, what does it mean?

The new awakening means learning how to do useful things, from planting organic seeds and growing food, to building homes, cooking healthy foods, and living in harmonious communities. The era of Big Government reign followed by the corporatocracy (takeover by insurgent corporations that have become ubiquitous) has not served humanity’s health, happiness and the state of our planet, Gaia.

Running the planet for profit and exploiting every last resource, as well as the concept of economic “growth” needs to be rapidly demolished. In this shift may come chaos. Yet after the flood, Noah re-seeded the Earth and starting all over again meant the weeds were removed. The deluge was really a deliverance from evil. So in the same way, if you see chaos around you, don’t be taken in by that illusion. It is just a stage toward Ascension.

Self-autonomy means not blowing with the winds of political change. It is standing alone, aware, still, and grounded. It is standing together with love and compassion, bringing the dream concept of a soul tribe together. Big governments are on their way out. People power and a shift into balance, where feminine energy is no longer feared and suppressed, is returning.

Other key concepts include respecting women. Not in the way that would be condescending or
patronising, but in a genuine and authentic recognition of sacredness. Our true birth mother is Mother EarthGaia, and she has not been honoured, and protected . Without reverence for the sacred feminine, we are killing the mouth that feeds us. (Read more about the feminine matrix of creation.)

In the criminal domination, suppression and oppression of women, still practised by many of the world’s oldest religions and ethnic groups, we lose a sacred part of ourselves, a sacred part of our world, its very conscience.

The disturbing continuance of genital mutilation in Africa and the Middle East demonstrates the gulf between progressive human values of compassion, love and understanding, versus the “old world” fear, control and violent abuse of power. It is changing.

It is not just this suffering I wish to speak to. It is the chasm in consciousness that occurs throughout humanity. In Western countries, this is now done through digital means—electromagnetic radiation from electronics and news media keeping people controlled and suppressing their humanity. The more wifi there is, the less people can function, the less awake they can be. It also creates the kind of chaotic frequency that makes infertility rife.

To take back our consciousness is to disconnect from wifi and find safe zones in nature to inhabit, far from power signals. Empowering the health of our bodies means building a strong immune system to withstand EMF (electronic magnetic frequency) signals, and the abundant air pollution caused from contrails, amongst other things.

Please don’t get sucked in by the Trump hype—fear or hope. All happens for a reason, patterns in time, and time is the greatest illusion of them all.

The liberal-controlled media will have you believe that Trump is bad, but the people who own the media sit in their high offices in Wall Street, pushing the buttons. The system is fake and corrupt to its core. The American economy is built on debt and backed by fresh air, which isn’t even so fresh any more. How can that be sustainable? Debt is meaningless if money has no intrinsic value. Resources have value, and we are destroying them fast. Fresh air has value and we are taking that too.

All this is changing – it has to.

People have value, but in our world, they are only valued if they are born into elite families and to a lesser extent, into elite societies and the so-called “developed world.” A child born in the “developing world” is deemed expendable in our system and “worth less” than its Western counterparts.. So much so that millions of children die in Africa whilst the media obsesses about Donald Trump had for breakfast. What kind of reality is that? Refugees are human beings too – not numbers on a screen. I haven’t come across anyone that was aware that the most asylum seekers in the world are not living in Europe, but in South Africa. The mainstream media report that Africa is a small footprint on the world map.

This is a time of disclosure, and there will be traumatic events, because the debt of human suffering is mounting and needs to be acknowledged. When all information is freely available, then we can make decisions as a free society. Secrecy foments deception. I advocate total disclosure. That is what a free and “democratic” society would look like.

On a personal level, it’s the same as when I speak of being “naked” – not only in the physical – but on the soul level.

A truly democratic system would be easy to construct using the digital technology that is so rife. Each issue could be voted on, with very simple technology. The need for “elected” career politicians is becoming less plausible.

The way we look at something changes its intrinsic nature. As the shop windows shatter, a new dawn is breaking. The dying constellations around us are a call to cry over the suffering of our people and planet, and embrace a new age of compassion. Then we see that all is a miracle, just different steps in the evolution of miracles. All is reflecting life – and the evolution of humanity and Mother Earth. Accept change, and you will be free.


Recommended Reading:

The Divine Feminine:

Use of Wi-Fi Affects Male Fertility: Science Direct Study:

SA home to more than 1 million asylum seekers:

SA home to more than 1 million asylum seekers.

Female Genital Mutilation Factsheet: World Health Organisation:


Geo-Engineeering Watch:

The Agriculture Defense Coalition:

Pulsing electromagnetic fields induce cellular transcription:

Time-varying magnetic fields: effect on DNA synthesis:

Power frequency electric and magnetic fields: a review of genetic toxicology:

A pooled analysis of magnetic fields, wire codes, and childhood leukaemia:,_Wire_Codes,.3.aspx

Electromagnetic fields, such as those from mobile phones, alter regional cerebral blood flow and sleep and waking EEG

Effects of electromagnetic fields on molecules and cells:

Lymphocytes and low-frequency electromagnetic fields:

Extremely low frequency electromagnetic fields (EMF) and brain cancer in adults and children:

Exposure to pulse‐modulated radio frequency electromagnetic fields affects regional cerebral blood flow:


Photo Credits: Via Pixoto – No Copyright Infringement Intended. Image not supplied by the author.
What do you think – or feel? Feel free to comment down below!
You are awesome as you are, and I love you!
And if you love me back, please click ‘share’ up at the top!

David Starlyte (ND) – Australia’s Leading Soul-Coach. PERSONAL SESSIONS NOW AVAILABLE VIA SKYPE (Email me for details:

Find out more about me:
Facebook: davidstarlyte