Tired of dating blind?
Many people dread the dating game or at least certain aspects of it.
What do you go through when it comes to dating?
Is it a good or positive experience?
How do you feel about talking with someone that you want to go out with?
What are your thoughts, words and actions?
How successful are your interactions, communications and results?
Here is dating wisdom that works from my friends, Ariel & Shya Kane.
The Kanes have been working with individuals, couples and teams for over twenty five years.
They also have a long-term relationship and marriage, so they qualify as “experts” in the dating game.
Most important – people around them tend to develop good relationships and marriages!
When I first met Ariel & Shya back in 1987, I was in a rocky marriage, soon to be separated and then divorced. I could not believe this was happening to me. How do you think I felt about getting back out there and dating? Forget about it! I was in one of their seminars when Ariel started talking about dating and relationships. She said, “Why don’t you just go out on a date and have fun…..just be with the person and enjoy it. Instead of trying to figure out what to say or do or how to be, or worrying about how you are doing or if this person likes you, is right for you….or the one…..just have fun. Then Ariel said the magic words…..don’t make it mean anything about you or them, just have fun….you don’t have to get married or start a committed relationship…it’s just a date.”
This information was incredible for me. I had never heard anyone recommend this. After all, how many times have you liked someone or been out on a date with them and your mind is racing into the future and telling you what is going to happen or judging if this person is the one you will spend your whole life with, etc. The mind plays all kinds of tricks and many people find themselves off into the future trying to figure out what is going to happen before it even arrives. The result is that the present moment is usually lost. Also, your mind can go back to the past and dig up old experiences where you “crashed and burned.” Either way, you are not present in the moment when you are thinking about the past or future because you cannot be in two places at once.
Really take a look at this. What is it that you want? Don’t you want someone to be there and actually listen to you while they are sharing themselves with you? How rare is it when you truly feel heard or listened to? Ariel & Shya suggest that you pay attention to the speaker from their point of view. That you listen with your eyes and hear the tone of the person’s voice, feel what you are feeling and take in the moment fully. This is so powerful because you become fully engaged in the moment, present and totally alive. It is amazing the things that can result from such energy and communication. You may actually discover yourself and the person you are with. This is the space where magic happens!
Now success leaves clues so I used this information consistently to practice and I experienced lots of good results. A lot of my fears starting disappearing in regards to asking someone out on a date, the date itself and so did a lot of my nervousness. I stopped trying to do it right. I started feeling more comfortable being with the person I was with and let go of focusing on what I was saying or doing. This empowered me to be myself and be free…..what a concept! My entire experience of dating changed, actually transformed and so did my results. I was having more fun, getting to know the person I was with and even having better safe sex. I started liking myself more too.
Over the years this helped me in all of my dating experiences, and the communication skills helped me in all of my relationships both personal and business. Everyone wants to be heard and listened to and I continue to perfectly practice this communication wisdom to this day. The results are a wonderful, happy 16 relationship and marriage with the love of my life, Denise. By the way, another recommendation from the Kanes is to make a game of it and have fun with little dates. So yesterday Denise and I had a date. We took a tasty picnic lunch down to Little Corona Del Mar Beach and played in the ocean together and spent a glorious day enjoying each other and our love. How do you think our evening went after such a wonderful day together? Lots more joy and intimacy.
All of this information and much more is available in Ariel & Shya’s new book, “How to Have A Match Made in Heaven.” It is coming out on September 4th and there is a special promotion that offers $400 in additional value, Go to http://www.matchmadeinheavenbook.com/bookpromo/
Don’t miss this opportunity to have what you really want in relationships!
The MEGA Coach
Do you have the kind of relationships you want?
When you are with someone you are attracted to are you present in the moment with them?
Do you fully associate to the joy and fulfillment available?
I know it seems like a simple question, but most people are so busy thinking about things while they are with someone else. Like, what am I going to say, do they like me, when should I make my move? Does this sound familiar? Maybe you have your own questions or chatter. I am amazed at how many people are texting and playing with their cell phones while with another person.
My question to you is, if you are busy thinking about anything when you are with the person you are with and maybe even attracted to, how can you be fully present with them? Because if you are thinking, or concerned about how it’s going, then you are not really engaged in your energy to being with the other person. Magic happens in those special, little moments that most people miss because they are busy thinking or worried about how they are doing.
That’s why this picture is a great reminder…are you in the past, present or future when you are asking someone for a date or with them spending “quality time.” Maybe your thinking about something you have to do later. Maybe something from earlier the day is nagging at you. Remember, the point of greatest power is always the present moment.
So how important is it for you to be present to experience true communication, clarity and connect with another person? In addition to being present, how important is active listening when you are with another person? Active listening or being fully present when someone is speaking is listening from the point of view of the speaker. It does not mean trying to finish their sentences while they are speaking, or figure out what you are going to say, or trying to come up with something cool to impress them. Do you see how easy it is to be distracted or occupied when you are actually wanting to be with someone or make a good impression?
How can you create wonderful, meaningful, fun, passionate relationships with someone if you are not really there with them? What do you think the other person is feeling when they sense you are not really listening to them or are not connecting with them? Maybe they think you do not really like them? How often do you think these factors affect the quality of your relationships and outcomes?
By the way, these patterns do not just affect romantic relationships. Look at how they affect family interactions between parents and their children. How about between relatives? Doesn’t the quality of your communication affects everyone in your life, especially you. What would happen if you were present and really communicated with your children and taught them by example?
Take a look at your business relationships – jobs, interviews, opportunities, contracts, sales, training, merger, etc. – they all can be lost or gained by the quality of being present, and true listening skills. What about body language, tone and words? Do you see that communication is made up of so many nuances and components that can either enhance or destroy potential outcomes and relationships?
What if you could improve the quality of your communication?
What if you could learn powerful information to be more present and become a good listener?
What if you could become a master communicator?
How would this change your life, your business and your success?
These subjects and more along with great ideas and solutions can be found in Ariel and Shya Kanes’ new book, “How to Have A Match Made in Heaven.” The Kanes have been communication specialists for decades and have coached and consulted thousands of individuals, couples and companies. People who work with Ariel & Shya Kane become successful and even more successful. Their new book comes out September 4th – find out about an exciting special promotion offered only on this day with added benefits at http://www.matchmadeinheavenbook.com/bookpromo/
Ariel & Shya Kane live the principles in their book. They have been teaching and sharing this information for a long time and it is field tested! The question is not does it work, the question is will you get your hands on this key, powerful information and tools and use them in your life. The only way to succeed is by taking action and discovering your own truth of what works best for you. If you want more joy, more intimacy, more sex, relationships that grow deeper and more wonderful over time, then do not miss this amazing book!
This information works in all areas of communication and relationships, so when applied in a business or professional setting the results are extraordinary and lead to greater teamwork, increased productivity and profitability.
Their book is full of endorsements by very successful people in all fields.
“In an era of technological revolutions affecting how we work and how we communicate, the Kanes are creating a revolution in how we live.”
Andrew Gideon, Vice-President, TAG Online, Inc.
Remember, the most important person that you communicate with every moment is YOU!
The MEGA Coach
This week’s theme is Magical, Fulfilling Relationships.
Do you have one with your special partner?
Do you have magical, fulfilling relationships with your family, friends, co-workers and the people around you? Maybe you have good relationships….could they be better? Do you want them to be better? Maybe you do not have any, don’t worry things can change, or even transform if you do. Success leaves clues and it sure helps being around people who are examples of what you are looking to create or achieve.
Back in 1983, I was a young man living in NYC wanting to succeed big time, in all areas of my life. Fortunately, I met a wonderful man, Michael Wyman, who helped people live their dreams and taught a seminar called “The Power of Acknowledgement.” In this seminar I learned about being, not doing or having…..just being. What a concept! In NYC there was not much time to be because there was so much to do, so many people to deal with and so little time….at least so I thought.
In the months that followed, my life starting transforming….not just changing but transforming. Spending time with Michael was unlike anything I had experienced before. When I spoke to Michael I felted truly heard, listened to and acknowledged. When he looked into your eyes, which he did consistently when speaking or listening with you, it was as if he saw into your soul. It felt really good. He asked what my vision and purpose was for my life, my career, my health and my relationships? No one had every asked me these questions before. It started a process inside me that continues to this day.
From that moment on, my life took on a new direction. Being financially successful, having the things that I always wanted was not so all important anymore. I wanted to grow and to find out who I was and what I truly wanted in my heart, not just in my head. I was 27 years old, had a BA in Economics and an MBA in Finance and I felt like my real education was just beginning. It was a very exciting and I spent as much time as I could with Michael for a number of years. We became partners and he shared his wisdom and his heart with me and trained me to teach his wonderful workshops. I read every book and took every seminar that I could on personal growth and success. The human potential field was exploding. I met Tony Robbins, Stuart Wilde, Zig Ziegler, Dr. Vasant Lad, Steve Stein, Laurie Sue Brockway and so many incredible people and teachers. I was on the fast track to health, happiness, wealth and fulfillment.
Our seminar company was growing, so was my income, I started teaching corporate sales seminars and worked with Tony Robbins on his staff for a few years. In 1986 I married a powerful woman who was Tony Robbins’s top female trainer at the time. We were in love and life was great. At least so I thought. Within a year, the party was over, our marriage was crumbling and I was lost. How could it all fall apart so fast? Another relationship seemed to be ending.
At that time a friend, Brett recommended that we meet Ariel and Shya Kane. They had just come back from Europe and were sharing incredible, transformational information about being present and living in the moment. Brett thought they could help us. He was right. The first thing I noticed about Ariel and Shya was that they treated each other differently than any couple I knew or ever met. They listened to each other, spoke individually and collectively to our group and could even finish each other’s sentences spontaneously and brilliantly. They lived what they talked about. They shared their experience and what worked for them and suggested others try it and see how it worked for them.
A lot fascinated me. Specifically their communication and relationships skills. They shared powerful information about communication, really listening to the speaker from the speaker’s point of view and being present to the nuances in the communication and the person you were with. As much as I had learned from Michael and Tony Robbins, who was hailed as a “Master Communicator,” I was discovering exciting new information and skill sets with Ariel & Shya and creating a different reality. My life was transforming again and I had hope!
My first wife and I discovered that it was best for us to separate, as we were moving in different directions, but I continued working closely with Ariel & Shya for the next few years. Not only did I learn and grow so much but I had a lot of fun too. There were also times when I faced my greatest personal challenges and some of the most difficult patterns of my life. But through it all Ariel and Shya and many other good friends around them were honest and compassionate with me. There are times when the best thing that could happen is for the people who really know you to be straight with you and give you accurate feedback so that you can see your actual behavior and its affects, not what you think is happening. I am forever grateful, because that became the foundation in some key areas for my future success and happiness.
Although when I met Ariel & Shya, I had a number of quality relationships since college, they always ended after about 2 years, even my first marriage. After learning and practicing the principles they shared, my relationships significantly improved. I had a relationship make it four years. Then in 1995 I moved to Southern California and met the woman of my dreams, Denise and we have been together ever since our first date. We are going on 16 years of magic together and 7 years of marriage. This one is always and forever.
Now, what’s all this mean for you? Well, on September 4th, Ariel & Shya are coming out with their brand new blockbuster book, “How to Have A Match Made in Heaven.” It’s a transformational approach to dating, relating and marriage. This week, I will be sharing with you powerful information that can transform your relationships, both personal or business to a much higher level of accuracy, quality, respect, intimacy and success. You will also find out how to access great information from Ariel & Shya’s website, books, seminars and coaching.
As I said, success leaves clues and when I returned to NYC last May I visited Ariel & Shya at their “Monday Night Alive” meeting after twenty years. There was a great group of people having fun and passionately exploring and discovering new ways to improve the quality of their lives. I even connected with some great friends from twenty years ago that are still thriving and moving forward with their lives and still continue to work with Ariel & Shya. I noticed that many of the participants “twinkled” with a definite glow and excitement about life.
I first met Ariel & Shya in 1987 and since then they have a long trail of success in many areas of life and business, but along their entire path are people who have improved their lives in so many incredible ways. Ariel & Shya are definitely catalysts of transformation and when you spend time with them you can’t help but feel their love, passion and commitment. They are dedicated to making a difference. I have seen more fulfilled couples around them over the past twenty five years than anywhere else I know. As I was there in the last 1980’s when Ariel & Shya first started teaching, it is very special for me to see how their love has deepened after so many years and continues to be fresh and grow.
Ariel & Shya’s website link is on the right under my Blogroll, so just click on “Instantaneous Transformation“ and check out all of the many opportunities they offer. There are some very special prizes and giveaways coming up on September 4th when they launch their new book. By the way, I started reading an advance copy this weekend and you do not want to miss this information!
Check back each day on my blog for new information regarding communication and how to achieve the best relationships possible, along with more information on Ariel & Shya.
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”
Henry David Thoreau
The MEGA Coach
Sandstone Wall, Antelope Canyon, Arizona by Dennis Flaherty
(August section of Inner Reflections 2012 Calendar from the Self-Realization Fellowship.)
“Darkness may reign in a cave for thousands of years, but bring in the light, and the darkness vanishes as though it had never been. Similarly, no matter what your defects, they are yours no longer when you bring in the light of goodness.”
This is an incredible world of wonders we live in. Even now, with all of the challenges and turmoil, with darkness, killing sprees and greed, the LIGHT is still here and can illuminate the darkness and transform the world. The choice is yours every moment! Is it important enough for you to follow your greatest good deep inside your being or to follow the selfish and hurtful pattern of your conditioning?
Every moment is a choice and opportunity for goodness and love.
There is a way in each situation, circumstance or relationship to let your light shine.
It is the Power of Truth, it is the Power of Acknowledgement.
There are people around you right now who need your love and your light.
It can be unspoken in just your energy and being.
It can be in your actions or in your eyes.
Kindness is a language the whole world understands.
Be very clear that it is available every moment and you have the power and the freedom to choose it.
Although the temptation of selfishness or getting what you want is seductive, you can overcome it when you give everything you have to follow the light. The most difficult patterns to overcome require everything you have to not succumb to them and to follow a different path, the path of light and love.
We live in the computer age and they are a wonderful tool.
But, text messages and emails are not the best way to share feelings and have relationships.
Find a way to do it live, on the phone, in person……give yourself and the people around you the greatest gift – your presence, your energy, and your beingness.
Our world is so fast pace, people forget to be here in the moment and let their light shine fully.
The light of awareness, the light of love, the light of God is within each of us.
Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!
The MEGA Coach