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Have a Magnificent Day!

Have a Magnificent Day!

How To Transform Any Negative Pattern

posted by The MEGA Coach

If you truly want to have a wonderful relationship with yourself and with others you must be good to yourself and you will then be good to others.  You treat others only as good as you treat yourself.

Since we are all human, most of us has some negative pattern that rears its head and dominates the moment and a situation.  Usually it is not fun or optimal and various hurtful and destructive outcomes occur.

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So, what do you do to transform a negative pattern so that it no longer dominates your life and relationships?  Now this is often an area that most people do not want to look at, deal with or acknowledge.  This is the stuff we all like to hide or pretend doesn’t happen.  These negative patterns are also the most destructive forces that hurt your well being, health, success, family and relationships both personal and professional.

It is easy to deal with and improve your wonderful qualities.  It takes courage, faith, determination and vigilance to deal with your “dark side.”  The good news is that any negative behavior or pattern can be “unwired” or transformed if it is important enough to you.  First, you have to tell the truth and acknowledge what is happening when it happens.  You don’t have to like it but what you resist persists and the first step is to be willing to see it for what it is and just observe.

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I am reading Ariel & Shya Kanes’ new book on relationships, “How to Have A Match Made in Heaven” and they have excellent information on this subject.  As a matter of fact, I can give you firsthand experience that miracles are possible.  As a young man growing up in an intense and competitive investment banking family, I learned only too well how to fight my way to success in the “dog eat dog” environment of New York City and Wall Street.  I was fortunate to go to some of the top schools and the competition in all areas was fierce.  It wasn’t easy but I learned to be tough and mix it up with the best of them.  The problem was that this spilled over from the sports field or business world to my personal life and relationships.

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When I first met the Kanes, my romantic relationships lasted for about two years.  You see the women I was with could not take my negative and hurtful patterns of behavior and relating and went away.  For so many years and relationships I always thought that they were the problem.  Does this sound familiar?  By the time I reached 27, I started to realize that it was the same pattern over and over that was dominating and destroying my life and maybe it wasn’t them…. it was me.  I checked out traditional therapists and most of them gave advice on how to make gradual changes with behavior modification, but that is different than transformation.

After going through a divorce in 1988, I made a commitment to change, and then realized that change wasn’t enough.  I wanted to transform.  Fortunately I met Ariel and Shya at that time and they are a powerful support system and source of information that works.  It is very helpful to have an example of what you are looking to create in your life and Ariel & Shya were one of the most loving and honest couples that I had ever met.  I also met many wonderful people in their workshops who became good friends.  Many of them also became clear, quality communicators and developed wonderful relationships.  Success leaves clues and I knew that I had met the right people to help me grow, transform and improve the quality of my life and relationships at such an important time in my life and development.

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When you transform, you no longer are the same person or do the same things you used to do in the same way.  It is like when water turns to ice.  It is no longer water, it is a completely different substance.  For me, my relationships started to drastically transform when I did.  They started being more fun, intimate, juicy, loving, spontaneous.  I felt better about myself and how I communicated and treated other people, especially the person that I was in relationship with.

Here is some great information from the Kanes’ new book:

“Kindness begins with you – DON’T JUDGE YOURSELF FOR JUDGING YOURSELF.  In order to be kinder to yourself and others, you first have to pay attention to the way you currently behave.  It starts by noticing when you’re harsh and when you use derogatory terms or an abrasive tone.  When you notice this behavior and don’t judge yourself for doing it, then the behavior will dwindle away on its own (Third Principle).  If however, you criticize yourself for what you see, then you’re resisting your behavior.  That will only mean that despite your best intentions, you won’t be able to stop.  You’ll be trapped in a cycle of behaving “badly,” then feeling “badly” and then behaving “badly” all over again.  This is the First Principle of Instantaneous Transformation.

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When you are harsh with yourself for being harsh, it simply reinforces the behavior.  In other words, what you resist persists, grows stronger and dominates your life.

NOTICING WHEN YOU’RE ALREADY UPSET: You may think that certain circumstances are inherently upsetting or frustrating, that they make you upset and cause you to respond in an abrasive manner.  But if you take a look, you’ll notice that when you react strongly to something, oftentimes you were already upset.

DON’T BLAME THE TRIGGER: Upsets can range from a low-level grumble to an explosion.  It’s easy to blame your partner, friend or circumstance or even yourself for doing something “wrong” when in fact you are simply pre-charged.  For example, if you had a “bad day” at work or a frustrating day with your kids, when you get together with your spouse, it’s far easier to snap at him or her as if your partner is the cause of your upset. Blaming something outside of yourself perpetuates recurring upsets.  If you simply bring awareness to how it is that you function, without judging yourself for what you see, or blaming something or someone for causing them, these recurring upsets will lose their hold over you and with practice, you well be free of them.

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This wonderful book is full of valuable information that will transform your life if you want to.  Of course you have to take the appropriate action as often as is needed and go the distance. Remember that “perfect practice makes perfect” and anything is possible if you want it and do what it takes.

http://www.matchmadeinheavenbook.com/

Have a miraculous weekend!

smiles,
:) Lee
The MEGA Coach

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Your Highest Potential!

posted by The MEGA Coach

Yes, you are a sacred being.
You are a Spiritual Being created in God’s image with his love.
You are a being of light, love, wisdom and grace.

Now the question is are you living your highest potential?
Are you treating yourself and others as the sacred beings that you are?
Are you giving your best?

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Today more than ever, people need love, kindness and compassion.  The age of technology is wonderful and remember that you cannot have a relationship with a computer, cell phone or iPad.  Relationships and love grow organically with a touch, a kind word or deed or a sincere look into someone eyes.

The moment gives you a choice, each moment gives you a choice.
You can be kind, caring and generous and live from your heart and proper principles or you can indulge your ego and allow your cultural conditioning to win.  The greed, power and corruption that is demonstrated in today’s world of politics, religion and big business is a reflection of people’s values and behaviors.  For things to change each nation must rise up as awakened people with a common voice and desire for peace, harmony, kindness and a healthy, balanced life for all.

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The world may be faster with the breakthroughs in communication and technology and we have more people on the planet than ever.  Yet, the world is also smaller and people can achieve great things with the resources we are blessed with.  Most importantly, we need to be kind and compassionate to ourselves and others.  It’s time for grace.

People make life so complicated.  It is really simple.  Love and kindness is the way and all else follows.  If something feels right in your heart that is a good sign.  If something feels bad in your heart that is probably a hint that something is off.  Let’s make this world what it can be, by you becoming your highest potential – The most wonderful Spiritual Being you can be.  This is the incredible opportunity you have right now.  This is the way for you to make the greatest contribution you can.  Be ALL that you can be!

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smiles,
:) Lee
The MEGA Coach

 

 

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Friendship

posted by The MEGA Coach

 

“People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.”

Last week the theme was relationships.

Communication and relationships are such a significant part of our lives.
Your ability to relate and get along with others determines much of your success in all areas of your life.  Of course, the most important person you must be friends with is yourself.

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When it comes to relationships kindness is a language that everyone understands.
We all want to be treated with love, kindness, sincerity and respect whether it is a personal or business relationship.  When these qualities are absent, the harmony and balance is lost and trouble is close at hand.

It is wonderful and fun when relationships are going well and developing nicely.
But when challenges arise this is the real test of your character.
These moments reveal the nature of a your patterns of behavior.
Because when important issues come up, you usually revert to your strongest and most basic patterns.

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When survival issues are at stake such as money, sex, religion and power, people do the strangest things to maintain their control or dominance.  People can do the harshest things to win or get what they think they want.  In the end, the only thing that truly matters is love, friendship and kindness.  These are the only things that you can take with you when you die.  All of the money, sex, power and material possessions that you accumulate cannot be taken with you.  As a matter of fact, even if you have them on earth, they do not keep you warm at night or truly comfort your heart and soul like love, kindness and a true friend.

Some people come into your life for a reason to accomplish something or for a short lesson.  Even in a singular moment the lesson or experience can be so profound that it affects your whole life and you remember it forever.

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Some people come into your life for a season and that time can be so special, powerful and wonderful.  It is not always easy to let these people go when the time is complete.  But it is important to allow people to come and go appropriately into your life without attempting to hold on or control the relationship or experience.  If it is meant to be long term or even forever, it will let you know on its own and remain present or return.  When you attempt to control someone with your will or force, you actually push them away and damage all involved.

Some people come into your life for a lifetime and these are the “keepers.”  They share your life and your highest highs and lowest lows.  A real friend shows you love, kindness and compassion and does not judge you.  They just care about you and always want your best.  Real friends are God’s blessings!  They are a special gift.

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Now the tricky part is to know whether a person or friend is in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.  But regardless of how long they are in your life for, make sure to give them the best you have every moment.  To do this you simply have to follow proper principles and The Golden Rule.  This is much easier said than done.

Being human we have tendencies to be selfish, hurtful, manipulative and destructive in order to get what we so desperately think we need.  Whenever the ego takes over, trouble is the result.  As The I Ching states “When you exercise your ego, your spiritual development stops.  Do not drag out disagreements with others because conflict is a prison that grows more dangerous every minute you are in it.  Do not depart from the path of humility and correct conduct. “

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You can have whatever you want without violating the rights of others.  So keep your awareness burning brightly and do your best to live in the moment from your heart and intuition.

blessings,
:) Lee
The MEGA Coach


 

 

 

 

 

 

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Life Is Always For Your Best!

posted by The MEGA Coach

Life is an incredible journey to your divine destiny.
It is a process to discover your deepest truth and actualize your creative potential.
Every moment is designed to give you exactly what you need to grow.
This moment is exactly the way it is supposed to be.

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Is there any real benefit to resisting or complaining about what is happening now?
Will it change anything?  Eventually you have to deal with what is because even what you resist persists.  By being present and embracing the opportunity of the moment you have your greatest potential for growth and transformation.

Life is not always easy and the lessons you receive may be challenging.
It may require you to go deep to your core and search your soul for faith or trust.
But when you allow life to be the way it is, you empower yourself to discover your truth and the greatest opportunity available.

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Sometimes it may appear that everything is falling apart around you.
That you cannot do anything right or accomplish what you want.
Yet in that very moment, the universe is still supporting your greatest growth.
The way out is in.

The greater the challenge, the greater the opportunity.
The bigger the risk, the bigger the reward.
It is up to you…..it always have been and it always will be.
YOU determine your choices and outcomes in your life.

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It is an amazing part of life that when everything seems to be falling apart that you are actually progressing and moving closer to your highest growth.  Although the mind can kick and scream when things are not going according to its plan or when you are out of your comfort zone in new territory, life is guiding you, calling to you to grow, improve and succeed.  So one of the wisest things you can do is allow the moment, people and circumstances to be the way they are.  Stop complaining or resisting and go forward in the best possible way using your awareness and intuition to guide you.

Often you discover that what you receive is even better than you could have planned for and that there is a higher power or energy that is guiding this incredible universe and all of life.  When you are present and allow life to be the way it is you enter a special zone or energy flow.  These are times when you feel so connected and in tune.  Some call it “being in the zone or in the flow.”

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Life is an amazing adventure and you are here to experience your fullest possible experiences and to actualize your divine, creative potential.  Challenges and trying times test your integrity and commitment to proper principles.  It is easy to feel good and make good choices when things are going well.  It is when you are under pressure that your true character reveals itself.

From The I Ching by Brian Browne Walker:

“In a very real sense the progress of the world depends upon your progress as an individual now.
Concentrate, then, on examining and correcting your thoughts, attitudes and actions.  Improve yourself into the kind of person you yourself would follow wholeheartedly and without hesitation.  Learn to accept the natural progress that occurs when you act in harmony with proper principles and seek no progress at the expense of those principles.”

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The most important thing you can aspire to is becoming the best person you can be and actualizing  your divine potential.  In the end, no amount of wealth or possessions can determine the quality of your character or the quality of your life. 

Feeling good is your natural state when you are in alignment with your truth and essence.
“To thine own self be true.”

blessings,
:) Lee
The MEGA Coach

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Enjoy this wonderful video a friend shared with me today:
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