Common story – a friend called as he was in a tough situation with his girlfriend. Although he is a good and caring person, he couldn’t create and enjoy harmony, intimacy, fulfillment and true communication with his partner – even though he really wanted to.
Men and women have different ways to communicate. Even with good intentions, the end results can be painful.
In this case, my friend did not know his partners love languages and most importantly their ranking. A persons love language and their ranking determines their fulfillment, satisfaction and feeling loved. By the way, he also did not know his own love language. It can be pretty interesting when someone thinks they know either their own love languages and ranking. Your thoughts and life can be quite different experiences at times.
People have different styles of communicating and letting each other know that we care. “The 5 Love Languages” is a wonderful book by Gary Chapman.
During the early days of our relationship, this book and information helped my wife and I develop a successful and loving way to communicate. We could transcend life’s challenges. We were able to listen to each other in a caring way and share our feelings without hurting or attacking the other person. We developed new strategies to communicate the difficult feelings and share them in a way that works. We continue to do this on a regular basis.
Have you noticed that during the first two years of relationship you and your partner create the basic patterns that determine how you communicate and ultimately the success or failure of your relationship? How you navigate “the bumps” or the challenges determines if you remain together long term and your ability to create intimacy, trust, unconditional love and true communication?
We each have a predominant love language. Which is yours? Which is your partners? What about your parents and children? You may respond to each of the 5 languages, but every person has a definite ranking. You need to know both yours and your partners to feel truly and deeply loved and cared for. You may not effectively be reaching the person you care about because you are not using their top strategy that makes them feel loved. Even if you touch them, if their top love language and strategy is not satisfied, they will not feel totally loved.
Tune in tomorrow for the magical 5 Love Languages.
The MEGA Coach