Good Days…Bad Days With Maureen Pratt

Good Days…Bad Days With Maureen Pratt


The myth of closure

posted by mpratt
Image Courtesy of dan/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image Courtesy of dan/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

My heart goes out to all those touched by the loss of the Malaysian jetliner, which is said to have crashed into the Indian Ocean with all lives aboard lost. What agony the families and friends must be feeling, collectively and individually, and how horrible that their grief has been compounded by agonizing days of waiting for word, any word, about the fate of their loved ones.

Now, on the news and in other reports, I’m hearing a lot about “closure,” and how it might be possible, once remnants of the plane are found and possible human remains, too, for family members and others to get “closure.” I feel as if, by saying this, we should think that tangible discoveries will somehow dull loss and assuage grief. But, having suffered many a loss myself, I am more inclined to believe that these proofs of the fate of the airliner and its passengers and crew might provide one piece of the puzzle, but true closure will probably never occur. And, in fact, in any heart-wrenching loss, closure doesn’t really put the lid on grief, either.

A loss is felt in so many different ways and under different circumstances that it’s impossible to go through life afterward as if, completely, the loss never happened at all. As if, by going through the motions of facts, services, and closets and drawers, we can compartmentalize our loss so surely that it won’t re-emerge or hurt again. As if, after a certain timeframe after the loss, the days have passed and the future holds no looking back or feeling the loss. Some in society might think otherwise and expect that a person can get back to “normal” within a certain period of time. But those who have lost a loved one understand that days, years afterward, if we’re honest with ourselves, we think of things we’d like to say to the person who has passed. Or, we regret something and wish we could take it back. Or, we arrive at a milestone in our lives and wish that person were with us to celebrate, too.  Those who lost someone on the Malaysian airliner might expect closure, but what they’ll feel for years to come is something else entirely.

Even in the moment of supreme grief, it is possible to laugh, remember fondly, love and have faith. As time passes, we have more moments of these and other positive, affirming emotions. Our spirits are truly resilient, and God is with us all the time, so He brings comfort every day and night. But, closure? Complete and final? I think that it really is  a myth.

So, I’ll continue to pray for all those who’ve lost loved ones, whether on the flight or in other respects. Compassion for those who mourn doesn’t have an expiration date, just as grief doesn’t, either.

Blessings for the day,

Maureen



Advertisement
Comments Post the First Comment »
post a comment

Comments are closed.



Previous Posts

When you think, "Can't I have just one good day?"
If you are really down, and challenges are heaping themselves upon challenges, then you might find yourself thinking, "Can't I have just one good day?" Yup, I've been there myself -and it's okay to ask that question, borne of frustration and perhaps a little amazement that "yet another" thing could

posted 1:53:52am Oct. 23, 2014 | read full post »

TLC Tuesday: Feeling De-feet?
Ah, the bliss of putting my feet up! Throughout the day, our feet take a beating. And if we have joint issues "higher up," in the knees, for example, or the hips, thos

posted 1:42:47am Oct. 21, 2014 | read full post »

Food for Thought: Refresh Me, Lord
Many of you know Lisa J. Copen as the Founder of RestMinistries, an online resource for people living with chronic pain and illness of the invisible kind (www.restministries.org). Each year, Lisa sponsors an "Invisible Illness Awareness Week," and I've been honored to participate in it several tim

posted 1:32:33am Oct. 20, 2014 | read full post »

A Praying Spirit: Do you forget, sometimes?
I was looking forward to the day ahead. The sun was shining, my usual aches and pains were at a minimum. I started my morning routine, all happy and uplifted. And then, wham

posted 1:04:40am Oct. 18, 2014 | read full post »

Chronic Illness and Pain: The Gift of Planning Ahead
Next year's birthday cards - done! This year's holiday gifts - done! Yummy chicken soup prepared and in the freezer ahead of cold and flu season - done! I've often written about how hard it is to make firm commitments to things in the future. Chronic illness and pain have a way of interferi

posted 6:59:57pm Oct. 16, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.