Good Days…Bad Days With Maureen Pratt

Good Days…Bad Days With Maureen Pratt


Chronic Illness: Retiring the Blame Game

posted by mpratt

“I got this from my father’s side.” “She couldn’t have gotten it from my side of the family.” “I shouldn’t have smoked three packs a day. “If only I’d exercised more, this would have never happened.”

The blame game abounds throughout the vast community of people who have chronic health problems. Sometimes, it can cause deep chasms between family members, especially if one or another “side” of the genetic tree seems to have some link to a patient’s condition. Other times, a patient feels tremendous guilt because he or she “did something” to bring on the illness (a smoker develops COPD, for instance).

Unwitting folks who are not patients might accidentally contribute to the blame game, too, by emphasizing their opinions about how or why someone else fell ill. “You eat a lot of fatty foods, don’t you?” might be one such comment that can cause a string of guilt-ridden (or angry) thoughts in the mind of the patient suffering from heart disease, for example.

The blame game can hurt individuals deeply, too. I’ve encountered parents who blame themselves for their children’s illnesses and carry that heavy burden with them for years. I’ve also encountered parents who do not want to acknowledge that an illness  might have a genetic component, or that any of their behavior might have contributed to a child’s illnesses.

Yes, the effects of the blame game on patients and others can be profound. But does blaming anyone help anything or anyone moving forward?  Certainly it does, if reflecting on past behavior can lead to steps that are more healthful in the future. We all need to learn from past mistakes and gather strength and courage (abundant for us in faith) to correct them and replace them with all good things.

But when the blame game causes us to spin our wheels and dwell on the “if only…” and when it prevents us from taking charge of things that are in the here and now, it becomes something that has no purpose except to weigh us down.

Yes, it’s hard to let go of it, but what a burden is lifted when we retire the blame game! And how much more room we have for healthful and uplifting goodness!

Blessings for the day,

Maureen



Advertisement
Comments Post the First Comment »
post a comment

Comments are closed.



Previous Posts

TLC Tuesday: Thaw Out!
For many people, this winter has been brutal. Snow, ice, and, especially, frigid temperatures. Many people have been without power, help to clear mountains of snow, and low on food and other supplies. As we think about spring, we think about warmth - inside and out. And one of the ways we can sta

posted 9:56:52pm Mar. 03, 2015 | read full post »

Food for Thought: What You Hear in Silence
We can learn much, when we cultivate silence. It might seem counter-intuitive; our learning usually takes the form of words or pictures or sounds, tangible things that have size, depth, tone, and space. But beyond all of those things that we can feel is something more profound - it is what you he

posted 9:50:56pm Mar. 02, 2015 | read full post »

A Praying Spirit: Thank You, God!
What if all of your prayers today were of thanksgiving and appreciation? What if, instead of a laundry list of petitions or a few moments spent in distracted longing for relief, w

posted 9:44:21pm Feb. 28, 2015 | read full post »

Chronic Illness and Pain: Letting Your Guard Down
I've had to increase the dosage of the immunosuppressive drug I'm taking for my lupus and anti-retinal antibodies. This makes me even more susceptible to infections - at a time when the flu season is just kicking into high gear! About now, too, I'm getting very weary of fending off potential infe

posted 9:35:17pm Feb. 26, 2015 | read full post »

TLC Tuesday: Award Yourself!
Here in Southern California, the awards season is winding down. For the past few months, a crescendo of award ceremonies, large and small, has built up to last  Sunday night's fe

posted 9:24:25pm Feb. 24, 2015 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.