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God's Comic

God's Comic

Me..in DC

posted by Brad Stine

 So this past Saturday I attended the Glenn Beck
912 rally to restore honor to America. It is a noble cause and emphasizes the
restoration of original Judeo/Christian values to our culture via its citizens
with the hope of rubbing off on our elected officials who somehow disregard the
notion that they represent our voice
and instead believe their purpose is to decide for us what we believe. It had a
historic vibe about it because it was the same day and location that Dr. martin
Luther King gave his famous “I have a dream ” speech.

Funny thing about epic events I discovered, they
look and feel better on TV than in person. The first thing that came to mind was
everything was in color. The original MLK “I have a dream” speech footage was
in black and white which for some reason not only gives it more authenticity as
a historic event, but made it not seem as hot! Here it was late Aug in DC at
noon and these people were in suits or crying out loud and nobody was sweating,
meanwhile people at Becks were selling their bottled water for black-market
prices and we were gobbling it up like heroin addicts!

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The good news is it was peaceful and optimistic
and fun to be a part of. Of course there were those who joined the event simply
to antagonize the rest of us because that is what liberal thought in America is
now, shove their belief down your throat and censor dissent from the right as
dangerous. Face it nothing is more divisive than God and country. Just ask the
founding fathers!

Even though we have the writings of our founders
that to a man (yes, that includes Jefferson and Franklin)  they believed in divine providence to
secure our victory over tyranny and the Judeo/Christian God and His revelation
to guide us, the only way that can be interpreted by the revisionist
constitutional “scholars” is that they were deists.

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Of course a deist is someone that believes in
God but also believes He stays out of human affairs and leaves us to ourselves.
Kind of counterintuitive to the many prayers offered up thanking God for His
providence and asking Him to keep us grateful and seeking His wisdom, but then
again when you begin to confuse secular/humanists with facts it makes them more
aggressive to maintain their “faith” that our “faith” is anti-intellectual.

There was a black student from Howard that was
interviewing whites asking them if they felt it was insulting to him as an
African/American for Beck to hijack Martin Luther Kings “dream” speech since it
was 47 years from the day he spoke it. This was ironic to me since the
implication there of course is the “dream speech” was for black Americans
which, had you asked King I’m sure he would have responded it was for America
as a whole, thus revealing an underlying racism (I.E. King only cared about
black’s) in the implication of the Howard students inquiry. That made me sad.

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There were a couple signs stating ” I am brown
and born in this country, why do you hate me?” another implicating Beck as a
terrorist. Now remember these were 3 signs in a sea of over 200,000 people so
it is obvious they were looking for conflict not resolution or even dialogue.
Yet even with those who were there with an agenda and a desire to disrupt it
was a beautiful example of free speech in America in real time.

There was one guy from Long Island that
recognized me and asked if he could get a picture of us both but other than
that I pretty much blended in with all the other Americans of every age color
and creed. It was great to be with my own tribe and to see what I have been
saying as a comic for the past 8 years played out on a big stage. Yes it was
hot and hard to find a good place to see, but it was a moment I will not soon
forget, I can only pray America won’t either.

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It’s my body don’t shoot!

posted by Brad Stine


In order to be a
warrior in the battle for culture it is crucial that we begin to pick apart the
pseudo-philosophies of the relativist not only so as to stand firm in our
convictions but also to have the pleasure of seeing how stupid and vacuous what
passes for enlightenment actually is. We start by taking bullet points and
responding with reason not emotion. Get in this habit and you’ll do much to
expose the evil that is relativism. Example;

Lets start with some
basic sound bite philosophy of the left and see how it holds up shall we?

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Here’s a classic,

“Nobody has the right
to tell a woman what to do with her body.”

Most people stop
there. I mean how can you argue such depth right?

The idiocy of the
statement that the PCeople stand on assumes that this concept is self-evident.
Who am I to tell you what is “right” for your body?

This somehow tries to
separate our biological mechanics from our behavioral choices, as though your
body is separate from your intentions.

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Ironically the idea of
limiting what your body is allowed to do is the basis for virtually EVERY law
we have! Lets play this out in real time shall we?

Next time your
speeding and get pulled over try this. First, call the cop an intolerant bigot
for stopping you. Then say, ” how dare you tell my body how fast it can travel in a vehicle? Who are you to dictate to
me the velocity my body chooses to
move?”

When you get out of
jail tell me how well that worked out for ya promise?

Don’t pay for
groceries anymore either. Just take what you want and leave, when the store
complains tell them they have no right refusing your body from sustenance.

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Of course left-thought
would counter that you are infringing on someone else’s body by taking what was
rightfully theirs first. But whose body takes precedent and whose body makes
the rules?

Of course anyone with
a brain knows this isn’t accurate anyways since what you do with your body ends
when it begins to affect my body; for example when my body decides to kill your
body we usually rule that out as an acceptable body choice.

Next time you run into
a relativist ask them by what philosophical grounds they use to tell me that if
my body chooses to kill yours, I shouldn’t. They will reply it’s because what
you do with your body is your choice until it harms or affects others bodies in
a detrimental way.

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At this point start
your sly grin or in my case a smirk and then ask them when it was they became
pro-life?

I live in a country
whose intellectual “elite” argue for the right of a women’s body to kill
another woman’s body as long as that other woman’s body is safely contained
inside the aforementioned woman’s body.

Apparently first one
out of the womb wins. The fact that we have in-vitro surgery for babies woman want, and yet at anytime this same woman can destroy this same child simply by changing her
perception of it so as to change its name from child to choice is the single
most evil law the United States has ever thought of conceiving.

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Slavery is a close
second of course yet that horrific chapter in our country at least allowed for
most of them to live. This is the grand irony amongst the African-American
culture. Talk about legal lynching. The amounts of black babies aborted in this
country yearly alone outweigh every lynched black American in the Jim Crowe
era.

What amazes me is when these facts are presented the secularist becomes livid and attacks your character and your motives. Nothing throws a new progressive for a loop more, than when the facts contradict there ideology. Kinda sucks when life is what it is, and not what you pretend it to be huh? 

 


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They call me ..MR. Stine

posted by Brad Stine

My name is Brad Stine. To my friends I am simply
referred to as brad. Anyone else can refer to me as sir, your majesty, your eminence,
or any number of titles befitting my exalted position as professional laugh
master and future has-been.

In reality I don’t care what an adult refers to
me as, BUT I do have a problem with what kids call me. To anyone younger than
me and hasn’t been given different instructions shut up and listen close. My
name is and always will be Mr. Stine.

Are you listening all you politically correct,
oversensitive, let’s lower ourselves to the kids level, pampering, naïve dorks?

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I had a kid refer to me as Mr. Brad the other
day. Mr. Brad? What former hippie inspired neo-cultural reference is that, and
who thinks it’s appropriate. We have kids bringing guns to school to wipe out
there classmates and there are adults that believe expecting kids to respect
their last name is too oppressive?

Only in this new age of PC crap-ola would this
pass by unnoticed. I grew up with Captain Kangaroo. That’s right Captain…”KANGAROO”
not Captain “Tim”.  I grew up with
Mr. ROGERS not Mr. FRED. Making ourselves too familiar and accessible to kids
is only going to bring us down to their level not raise them up to ours.

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 They
have to earn the right to be
considered adults. This isn’t helped when the icons they grew up with didn’t
consider themselves unique or, more disturbing, didn’t want to be considered more MATURE!

 They grew up with Barney. Not Mr. Dinosaur, or Captain Carnivore…
just good old reliable don’t expect any adult perimeters from ya barney. “Duh,…
look kids I’m just as dumb as you are! Do de do de do!” Blues clues refer to
their host as ” Steve” and later ” Joe”. Where’s the respect? Where’s the
subjugating yourself to a superior?

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Grandpa used to be a term of endearment. An
acknowledgement of a life lived and experience gained. Now it’s a derogatory
term meaning ” old and useless”. ” Get outta my way Grandpa, I just got my
drivers license and I can’t wait to abuse it!”

 

We keep this up and the next thing you know
teachers are going to start dating the kids after they finish their homework…oh
wait, that’s already happening. How many new cases each day do we hear of a
teacher having sexual relations with her student? It couldn’t have anything to
do with the 24-year-old intern referring to herself as Miss Bambi to the 17
year old boys she teaches could it?

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Kids need to be taught respect of their elders
not another way to diminish the line between adulthood and adolescence. There
has to be a specific delineation that constantly reminds the young ones that we
as adults are still smarter, more experienced, and better than they are.

If you are a parent and don’t have your kids
refer to you as mom Nancy or dad Bob why would you let them speak to other
adults like that? I know I know, some of you may think I’m being a little hard
on you and the truth is…I am. That’s what I do. Someone has got to teach the
country how to get back to sanity. I do it because it’s my calling and my life
purpose. Oh yeah, and cause they pay me.

 

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My body needs more metal!

posted by Brad Stine

 

 

As I got out of the shower this morning I had
the pleasure of taking a glance at myself in the mirror. Nothing wakes you up
in the morning like a hot cup of coffee and seeing yourself nude in the mirror.

The good news is it’s the only time in your life
you will look at a naked body and never be tempted with lust. It was as I was
looking at myself that the reality hit me at just how imperfect my form
actually was.

The first thing I realized I was missing was a
tattoo. I have no tattoos and am in dire need of a few. I think it is pretty
obvious why God made our skin blank; it was so we could draw on it. I cool
cross would do as it would act as a witness to those who have never had the
sacrifice of Jesus explained to them on a forearm.

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I am also missing some barbed wire around my
bicep (to indicate my power) a dragon or bird (to indicate my desire for
freedom or my lack of wings I’m not sure at this point) and somebody’s name I
admire. (Preferably someone I will still care about ten years from now). 

Another glaring flaw in my countenance are my
earlobes. What you might ask? They are still solid. Nothing can be more
backwards then having earlobes that are sealed from the factory when it would
be much more trendy and attractive to drill a hole in them and lodge a metal
loop in the cavity that allows anyone that may be blowing in your ear to play a
tune as well.

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Of course while I’m at it I should run a metal
spike through my lips, nose, eyebrow and tongue. MAN how could the Creator have
been so clumsy in neglecting as much metal as possible to be displayed on your
face? Even more how did we get along this many years without realizing how
unattractive we were to look like ourselves without mechanical modification?

I’ve noticed some fraternities have ended a
great gathering by permanently branding themselves with their insignia! Wow, branding, it’s about time we quit letting cattle have all the fun! But a cursory glance
at our carcass leaves room for all sorts of new beauty concepts the Creator had
I mind all along. Forget shaving your head, how about a complete skull
scalping? Yeah just remove all the skin around your cranium and walk probably
amongst u backward folks with your shiny new skull revealed for all to marvel
at.

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Also have you noticed we have too many fingers?
If you’re like me you only use 2 to type with. Why not remove a few for a
fascinating and attractive paw that is permanently giving thumbs up to everyone
you meet. What an uplifting opportunity to bring joy to the lives of strangers?

Heck you wouldn’t even have to waste the digits;
you could swap them in periodically for an attractive new accessory for your
earlobes! I guess my point is simply this, what happened to humanity that ever
caused it to create the notion that just the way you are wasn’t enough?

God created a body that modifies itself with our
hair getting longer or cut shorter depending on our mood. Sideburns for men and
underarm hair for women (based on which side of the Atlantic you live on) gives
us constant opportunities for change that aren’t permanent. Ever increasing age
causes everything on our bodies to take different and unique shapes over time.

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Culture has said hide from this truth that we
are getting older when it should have said “wear it as a badge of honor”. I
think a good motto should be, “Never do anything to your body that can only be
restored with surgery!” Ever look at old pictures of yourself? Does anyone EVER
say “MAN I miss that haircut”! Used to be decisions we made when young
only came back to haunt us in photos. Not anymore, with tattoos and piercing,
20 years from now there are going to be a whole lotta people permanently stuck
with a bad haircut!

 

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