God's Comic

God's Comic

Let’s get real!

At the risk of sounding like a heretic, when I talk to people in church I like to use words that one might actually use in conversation on a regular basis outside of church with actual humans.

Is it too much to ask when I enter a church building I won’t be bombarded by terms and idioms that are buzz words to let you know you are speaking to a highly evolved Christian entity, meanwhile a non-believer joining you believes he just entered a foreign country.

I asked a church member when I saw him the other day how he was doing. Pretty common inquiry don’t ya think? Normally answered in the real world with deep philosophical responses like …” OK” or “ Pretty good” or even if they’re particularly charitable “ fine…and you”?


But this guy didn’t say any of those things; instead he had a response only found in the rarefied language of the land of Churchianity. He said he was ”blessed”.

He said blessed but took umbrage when I started worshipping him. One of the definitions for blessed is “worthy of adoration, reverence or worship “. You would think if he admitted he was adorable he wouldn’t mind being adored.
Apparently his “blessed” was of the other definition meaning “ divinely or supremely favored”, this I found problematic because the dude is bald.

I always figured if God found me specifically favored he would allow me to keep my hair thus making it easier for mere mortals not to laugh when they looked at me, as well as confirming my “blessed-ness”.


By the way, I have no problem responding positively about where you are in your life based on the very Christian idea that we are to be content in all things. But the Bible also say’s we can’t lie and I’m sorry oh great man of faith but sometimes…life sucks!

If you believe it is more Christian not to admit that, do yourself a favor and don’t read Psalms. It is filled with an obviously unspiritual, despised by God, David saying things like “ Well my enemies are eating well, are happy, and trying to kill me.”

I on the other hand as a committed follower of yours am trapped in a cave eating roots. Thanks Lord…just what I prayed for! Let me guess, next I get to start going bald? Yippee, look everyone….I’M BLESSED!
Just be happy you don’t live in the first church. Lying meant not only will people find out…God is going to KILL you.
Boy if that doesn’t force you to be a little more committed to your faith I don’t know what will and some think tithing is asking too much.


Listen maybe you are blessed, but ALL THE TIME? Just once I would like to hear a little more transparency amongst the tribe. Something like “ Yeah I’m ok except for the hemorrhoids acting up” or “I’m good but my wife is driving me crazy!”

To me the power of my faith comes not from ignoring the pain of life but realizing that that goes with the deal and enduring the difficulty with hope is a greater witness then disguising the issue outright.
A forthright Christian is balanced and more importantly….human.

Anyways..I hope that blesses you☺

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