God's Comic

God's Comic

Whistle while you rant!!

posted by Brad Stine

Heard a guy whistling at the airport the other day. Americans used to whistle a lot more especially in movies. Humphrey Bogart, Jimmy Cagney, Jimmy Stewart were all whistlers and it even seemed particularly masculine.

I don’t know when whistling stopped or why. Was it custom that died out because others grew annoyed at the whistle guy and punched him periodically, or was it because of something much more sinister? Remember, in the world of PC-eople they must always find “oppressors” so they have an enemy to, well, oppress!

It’s easy and it works like this.

“What evil syndicate do you suppose would have cause to be behind the prejudice of whistle censoring? …Oh I think I know and if you take a moment it becomes fairly obvious….Ready?…BATTERY MANUFACTURES!!!

Before I-pods and portable cd players were invented we HAD to whistle more because these battery driven devices made it obsolete to have to entertain ourselves!

Whistling was the earliest form of music download since you could whistle any song you wanted in any order, at any time. You didn’t have to pay royalties for it and you never needed batteries!

Who’s to say the battery people powers that be, in their unrestrained lust for profits and likewise fearing the loss of their market share monopoly subversively instituted this “it’s weird to whistle, “environment we now find ourselves trapped in.

Whistling is Gods gift to us. We learned it from the birds. They whistle every morning and we love listening to it.  It’s a soothing natural sound.

Birds are proud to whistle and do it every day despite the fact that they have to whistle under the tremendous handicap of not having lips!!! Birds instead have these big hard unforgiving castanet’s that have to pass for lips and they whistle anyways, unashamed and undaunted.

Not humans. Now we’ve decided that if something is going to take a little effort to become proficient maybe we should just go ahead and invent a machine to do it for us. Stinking battery people and their lust for profit!

The best thing about whistling was it was something you could do even if you couldn’t sing! Heck Andy Griffith even made it his theme song. Yes it was a much more innocent age before the battery people decided to instigate their Orwellian ways.

I suppose they thought we were too stupid to catch onto their little game? What with all the different size batteries, some cylinder shaped while others conveniently come in the shape of a rectangle just so we didn’t get any crazy ideas of one size fits all thus instituting the necessity of us having to buy every conceivable battery shape they could throw at us!

It’s time for open-minded tolerant people to unite and break the back of these ruthless tyrants to prove we are slaves to no one but our ideology! This will be our legacy to humanity that we for one will not be tied down to technology but will instead honor our uniqueness by whistling whenever the mood hits and let I-pods and other mechanical beasts be damned!

We are autonomous and plan to stay that way!!! See how easy it is to become a PC Marxist? I have more but I must run, the battery in my computer is dying


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