God's Comic

God's Comic


A Snow death

posted by Brad Stine

It
snowed last night. Snow is a curse. Snow is evil. Snow is what happens when the
atmosphere solidifies and falls on your head. Snow is Chicken Little’s
justification. Snow falls from the heavens and smothers the earth. It is cold,
wet, and slippery. There is no upside to walking in snow. It gets in your shoes
and up your pant legs.

 Its main purpose on cement is to
disguise the ice. Ice is snows evil twin. Those foolish enough to walk out in
snow are sure to get too cocky and believe that walking from your front door to
your car because, I don’t know, you have a life and actually have to go to
work, is going to be as safe as yesterday’s walk was when it didn’t snow.

 This lasts until the first step on your
top step and you slip on the ice and go down hard. Usually this results in a
broken wrist, cracked head or broken tailbone. How about that? An atmospheric
phenomenon destined to cause you to slip to the ground. Don’t talk to me about the
upside of snow. I don’t want to hear about skiing and snowboarding. Skiing is
harnessed slipping. Because you slip on snow we as humans decided to try and
contain it.

Mountain
owning entrepreneurs were even more enterprising. If you come to my mountain
and slip on the snow, I’m going to charge you. Anyone who slips on purpose
deserves a capitalist to, well, capitalize on your ignorance. Don’t tell me
snow is beautiful. Flowers are beautiful, the sky is beautiful, and mountain
ranges are beautiful. During a snowstorm, mountains and the sky become
undecipherable and the snow kills the colorful vegetation.

 Snow is white. White isn’t beautiful.
White is a non-color. The bible said before creation everything was dark.
Darkness is white without the sun. White is essentially colorless, it’s clear.
No one finds beauty in clear. No one pines over the stunning color of Vaseline.
White is the color of a sheet of paper or a fresh canvas. The beauty isn’t in
the lack of color it’s the potential that color is coming. We are going to
paint color onto the blankness and reveal beauty. White lies on the ground and
reminds us that one-day grass and flowers will return and beauty will reign.

 Early man didn’t know snow was coming
because it’s a result of the fall. That’s why we say that snow is falling. The original snow angels were
early humans collapsing in the snow and in their death throes they began
thrashing around. People found them later, saw the angel shape in the snow and
figured angels were laying on them trying to warm them up. Snow is like pain. Its
value is in teaching us that someday it will be gone. Someday a bright blue sky
and warm sun will return. Green grass and trees, flowers and birds are just
around the corner.

 We endure snow because we have no
option, but we trust God that the new season is coming. We thank Him for snow
because we know we are in His care even in dire circumstances. Snow is an
object lesson in trudging through the worst of the journey in the firm belief
there is a lodge waiting on the other side with a warm fire, a robe and
slippers and some hot cider.

 This is what I think of snow. Not that I
am poetic but instead I find myself freezing in the driveway shoveling it so we
can go to church. This is a Christian’s version of pragmatism. If whining about
snow is a sin, by turning it into a devotional I get paid and seem spiritual at
the same time. How about that, snow does have an upside!



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Comments read comments(4)
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Tilly

posted December 13, 2010 at 2:02 pm


I was laughing the whole time I was reading this! It seems I’m not the only one with a negative outlook on ice falling from the sky. Lucky for me though I live in a place were we don’t get that much snow so I don’t have to put up with it.



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sdgds

posted December 16, 2010 at 9:57 am


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Jenni

posted December 19, 2010 at 7:21 pm


You know, I used to like snow…until Christmas Eve last year. I’m from Oklahoma and we had the WORST snow storm I’ve seen in my life. We’ve never had anything like that this far south that I remember! After that, I think I’m all snowed out!



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Kevin

posted December 20, 2010 at 3:31 pm


I LOVED this!! It’s how I’ve always felt about snow (well, at least since I had to start driving in it! As a kid I loved playing in it.)
God must have a sense of humor, because for the past 9 years He’s had me living in a ski resort town that gets hundreds of inches of snow a year!! Sometimes my dislike of the white stuff drives me closer to Him … and other times it has me praying that there’s no snow in heaven! :)



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