God's Comic

God's Comic


The New Slave Trade!

posted by Brad Stine

 

I am shocked to say that slavery is still alive
and well in America. The culprits, exactly who you would least suspect, the
“alleged” animal rights activists. Animal rights activists always entertain me
with their lack of consistency. I am not a big animal lover but I also believe
they are not to be abused or mistreated.

This is the same message you would get from an
animal rights activist because the animal rights activists are the geniuses
that coined the phrase “species-ists”. I know, I know, it sounds like a punch
line at best or at least a frightening term one would find in a science fiction
book from George Orwell. Right up there with big brother and thought police.

Unfortunately the problem is it is all too real.
There are humans that believe that being
human is in no way superior to being non-human even though humans are the only
species with the capability of making that distinction. Dogs don’t since even
though they’re “smart” they still sniff each other’s butt. Seems like it
shouldn’t take more than once to know what a butt smells like and to avoid it
at all costs? Plus wouldn’t that be
something your “memes” would pass on as soon as possible Dr. Dawkins?

I don’t blame animals of course since all
they’re looking for is three steady meals. The problem as I see it and lets
face it, I’m the only one that matters at this point, is the moment you take a
wild animal out of it’s environment and teach it to act contrary to its
instincts. It is precisely at this moment that you are acting inhumanely since
you are controlling its autonomy.

Lets analyze the human/pet interaction and see
what it looks like shall we? The animal lover always speaks about the pet in
loving terms and assures us “they’re like one of the family”. They oftentimes
refer to the pet as “just like their children”. Really? You need someone to
guide your analysis a bit.

First off you OWN an animal, you get to
sterilize it in the name of compassion, you can sell off its young whenever you
want to make money, you can have it killed without penalty, and command it to
obey your bidding, including the ultimate indignity, telling it where it is
allowed to relieve itself. That makes pet owners sound more like a slave owner
than a humane individual.

Precisely why your called “master” I assume. A
true animal lover should be releasing their cats into the wild so they can
regain their killer instincts. Don’t coddle a poodle but teach them to assume
the fierceness that poodles lost when they were removed from the pack and their
fur went from a thick armor designed to fend off attacks to carefully coiffed
sweater-like appearance designed to make them represent a walking Q-tip.

We live in a time where animal rights fanatics
will always stop any human progress of building or seeking energy if it in
anyway inconveniences an animal or for that matter a moth or a mollusk.

Animals in their world aren’t treated as well as
humans but actually better than us. A
whale ends up on our beach we’ll spend thousands returning it to the sea. We
fall into the sea, the creatures eat us. Ironically they call our treating
animals gingerly being humane. You know, from the word human.

That’s my point after all. The fact that we
discuss how to treat animals proves we are superior to them because I guarantee
animals in the Serengeti aint having this conversation. They treat us animally
because they are beneath us since they posses no compassion.

All I’m asking is to be consistent and do the
humane thing by setting them free and letting the strong survive. If for know
other reason than I have got to see what a pack of poodles looks like in their
hunt for their former groomer. He’s going down!



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Comments read comments(19)
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Linda

posted July 19, 2010 at 2:32 pm


I’m confused. You start off making fun of animal rights activists. Then you spend the rest of the piece spouting animal rights philosophy.



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Cindy

posted July 19, 2010 at 3:04 pm


Linda I have to agree. Is it possible the author is confusing the meaning of Animal Rights folks v. animal loving folks?



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Mary

posted July 19, 2010 at 4:06 pm


Dogs don’t just want 3 square meals from their owners. They actually enjoy being with their owners. Strike one.
Poodles were bred to be water retrieving sporting dogs. The grooming that you made fun of actually protects their joints when in cold water. Strike two.
I don’t see my dogs complaining about being ‘owned’. They give me protection and loyalty, and invite me to play with them. They are fed wonderful diets, are healthy thanks to this owner using a good vet, kept safe from the coyotes around here, and played with on a regular basis – many times at the dogs’ invitiation (play bowing). Doesn’t sound like slavery Strike three.
And you’re OUT!



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brad stine

posted July 19, 2010 at 5:56 pm


whoa..uhh, the password is……..satire
oh and Mary ( am i really going to get into this fruitless dialogue?) everything you espouse is from a human POV.Based on your analysis poodles joints couldn’t survive the cold water w/o human intervention.Yet as u said WE bred them that way so WE created the problem…ohhh curve strike one.
you don’t see dogs “complaining” maybe it’s because they are….DOGS!!! thats great you love your dogs but sorry, they don’t need you at all. God provided their survival instinct. BOOM fastball strike 2.
also the enjoyment with the owners is true but they would enjoy any owner that treated them well as they are used to being taken care of and know no difference…eee change-up ur out



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Linda

posted July 19, 2010 at 9:48 pm


Normally satire makes a point, but your position is not at all clear here. Plus, it’s not funny. (yes, I do have a sense of humor).



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Gerry Mander

posted July 20, 2010 at 7:30 am


Sorry. I concur with Linda. The ‘satire’ is lost…and any patience I had for this sophmoric work ended with this trainwreck of a sentence:
Precisely why your called “master” I assume.
If you can’t be funny, at least use good grammar.



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brad stine

posted July 20, 2010 at 7:49 am


sorry guys. This is why I don’t respond to the ethers. First off when anyone ever has the audacity to use the phrase ” it’s not funny” without qualifying “I” don’t think it’s funny, I realize I’m dealing with someone who thinks very highly of themselves.
They make absolute statements that in their mind are immutable. Arrogance is a word we have for that.
Also I have many people that like what I do. Usually they don’t take time to respond. It usually comes from those with little else to do. Also Gerry you are a poster child for the juvenile and philosophical tactic of ad hominem attack. Shoot the messenger when you don’t like the message.
No light..just heat.
I have made a living as a comic for 22 years. I have been published in the Readers digest and numerous other magazines.
2 books published , numerous T.V. appearances and a 10 pg profile on me in the New Yorker magazine as well as numerous films.
When you have my experience and credentials and actually start writing and performing for a living, I will listen to your POV and give it the respect it deserves. Until then your attacks speak for themselves.
as far as the grammar goes? I agree…I suck, The End



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Dave

posted July 20, 2010 at 9:17 am


Dear Brad
You miss the point that Animal Rights may not always be ABOUT the Animals, but rather it is sometimes about stopping idiots from doing horrendous things TO the animals.
Animal Rights is much more about Human Conduct and the Human arrogance you espouse so beautifully in your blurb.
It seems obvious that blogging here must be free.



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Dave

posted July 20, 2010 at 9:28 am


Went away. Thought about it. Came back to ask:
Do you know that moths and mollusks are animals?
Do you know how many MILLIONS of animals have been ‘inconvenienced’ (that means KILLED) by BPs little stunt?
Do you know…
…never mind. Apparently you don’t even know the difference between there and their, so I can’t expect you to know much else.
The uneducated should not blog – it makes them look like their real selves.



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Dave

posted July 20, 2010 at 12:35 pm


OK. I’ve done the tour and counted the blog comments. You poor guy.
You should be on some sort of endangered species list or something.
As well, I’ve seen all the highly, highly, truly humorous, really funny righting you do on your blog. ( Oops – I meant writing )
In one place (above) you said you’ve made a living as a comic for 22 years, and had many TV appearances etc.
I think this means 2 things:
(A) you can’t hold down a regular job, but you’re clever enough to visit many comedy clubs with open-mic night. I suspect that because, at least in writing, you are really NOT funny. Have you really ever gotten past an objective audition – meaning one that wasn’t willing to accept you because you claim to be Christian and they were desperate for SOMEBODY??
(B) The other thing I think it means – and we all know this – is that Christian Television broadcasters are just crying for people to be on their shows. Is THAT the sort of TV appearance you mean??
Yeah. I think so.
Had I been using Political Correctness I would never have written this comment, but since you don’t like PC, I think you invited it.
(Political Correctness is the only thing that passes for Manners in the modern world, and those who bash it are really just big fans of barbarism).
I have a blog too – I’m pretty sure it’s better than yours.



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ziobuck

posted July 21, 2010 at 12:00 pm


Brad:
First, let me say, I always enjoy your musings (satire), even this one.
Second, where do these posters (above) come from? Perhaps there are some PSPs (PETA Sympathetic People) reading your writings? Anyway, just because a few are having a bad ‘fur’ day, don’t let ‘em get to you. =;^p
BTW, it has been a long, long time since I’ve checked your blog out. I like it. I recently saw your BSremoval.com shtick on someone’s FACEBOOK page and just ROTFL. What a hoot! Now it seems to be ubiquitous. The message is awesome and it can’t be hurting your personal ratings. It prompted me to check out your site again.
Keep up the great work. Hope to see you LIVE again sometime soon. I guess you and the fam survived the recent flooding? What a horrific mess!
Your admirer and loyal fan,
Ziobuck (Tucson, AZ)



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Dave

posted July 21, 2010 at 4:14 pm


Must be a cuzin.
Nuthin says luvin like marryin’…



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Jake Marley

posted July 21, 2010 at 10:12 pm


Dave, you are awesome. Thank you for providing half of the entertainment I got out of this blog post.
————–
Dear Brad
You miss the point that Animal Rights may not always be ABOUT the Animals, but rather it is sometimes about stopping idiots from doing horrendous things TO the animals.
>>> Animals — mid-sentence, rather than beginning. Despite this we notice the use of an uppercase “A.” This would be the first red flag.
Animal Rights is much more about Human Conduct and the Human arrogance you espouse so beautifully in your blurb.
>>> Of arrogance we note you have more of your own to add later.
It seems obvious that blogging here must be free.
>>> And so much more that commenting here must be free, too.
Went away. Thought about it.
>>> Can it be? Yes! Thought! About a comment! But… *after* posting.
Came back to ask:
Do you know that moths and mollusks are animals?
Do you know how many MILLIONS of animals have been ‘inconvenienced’ (that means KILLED) by BPs little stunt?
Do you know…
…never mind. Apparently you don’t even know the difference between there and their, so I can’t expect you to know much else.
>>> Apparently you don’t even know that an “s” added to the end of “BP” to indicate possession, as you have here done, requires an apostrophe (‘). Must we thus not expect you to know much else?
The uneducated should not blog – it makes them look like their real selves.
>>> We replace “blog” with “comment,” and enough has been said.
I have a blog too – I’m pretty sure it’s better than yours.
>>> Dude, the “Human arrogance.” We don’t *like* that, remember?
Must be a cuzin.
Nuthin says luvin like marryin’…
>>> Obsessively monitoring a blog post for comments, and snapping at the slightest hint of agreement: a mark of true childishness.
————–
Now — please. Get back to work. There are innocent animal lives to avenge! I live with idiots, such as those you have mentioned so disdainfully, and they have been visited by mosquitoes. These idiots have gone so far as to — if you can imagine — KILL THE MOSQUITOES. Yes! Can you believe it? Talk about “horrendous things”! I mean, mosquitoes are animals, too! Do you know how many MILLIONS of mosquitoes have been ‘inconvenienced’ (that means KILLED) by these idiots’ little stunts? Do you know…
…never mind.



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ziobuck

posted July 22, 2010 at 12:35 pm


Jake:
***snort*** :)



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Diana

posted August 1, 2010 at 5:41 am


First I want to say that any of the people making comments who use as an “argument” that Mr. Stine or his writing “aren’t funny” are way out of line. Funniness is a subjective thing: What you might not find humorous someone else might, so who is right? Mr. Stine obviously has a lot of people in his audiences who do find him funny so trying to use your negative opinion of him as an argument only detracts from your point.
Having said that, I would like to say to Mr. Stine that this is obviously a topic that people have very strong feelings about. Those of us who truly do love animals do not in any way regard them as our “slaves” and we very much despise the fact that it is legal to mistreat them whether they be “pets” or animals murdered for “meat” (yes I’m a vegan). Organizations like PETA have been derided by people with a (I believe propagandized) misunderstanding of the important work they do. If you are someone, as I believe you are, who loves what you see as God’s creation, how can you tolerate violence and disrespect towards any of His creatures? How can you even feel apathy about the fact that their abuse is so pervasive?
While I don’t agree with all of Mr. Stine’s views, I do feel that he is an intelligent man and usually displays remarkable wit and awareness in his writing. That is why I find this posting disappointing and decided to leave a comment here.



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Michael

posted August 2, 2010 at 4:07 pm


(Political Correctness is the only thing that passes for Manners in the modern world, and those who bash it are really just big fans of barbarism
Dave…if this is an example of your blog work, I beg to differ on it’s better. But in fairness, for comparison’s sake, why don’t you go ahead and post up your blog and let us make an informed decision on whose is better.



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Fan

posted October 9, 2010 at 11:33 pm


Hmmmm… To the people who seriously are getting mad about this blog, PUT A HELMET ON!!



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His Fan Nathan

posted July 1, 2011 at 4:41 pm


I just wonder how long Dave took to correct his own spelling mistakes in his comment, judging someone by how they write out a blog is completly stupid! Not to mention following the traditional liberal method of throwing dirt and insulting a great figure once no logical arguement can be presented.
Rock on Mr. Stine!!



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Stacy

posted April 5, 2012 at 5:50 am


Dave,
You wrote: ‘The uneducated should not blog – it makes them look like their real selves.’
Before you go around dissing people for mixing up words and judging them, you need to edit your own poorly written comments. ‘Went away. Thought about it. Came back to ask’ barely qualify as sentences. ‘Went away’ needs an ‘I’ to make this a complete sentence. The same goes for the next 2, umm, sentences?
FYI: Moths are in the Kingdom: animalia but in the class of insects and are referred to as insects. I don’t see activists with signs, protesting about saving our moths. More than likely, they’re out buying a couple of boxes of moth balls from the local store.
Mollusks are bivalves in the shellfish family, including clams, squid and octopus. If you’ve ever eaten shellfish, then your argument holds no credibility. It’s upsetting that BP killed these tasty ocean dwelling creatures. My 2 guesses why people are angered at BP: 1) they contiminated our waters and caused a lot of costly destruction, and 2) what a waste of perfectly good food. Think about that the next time you’re eating a shrimp cocktail.

This is from your other post:
‘In one place (above) you said you’ve made a living as a comic for 22 years, and had many TV appearances etc.
I think this means 2 things:
(A) you can’t hold down a regular job, but you’re clever enough to visit many comedy clubs with open-mic night. I suspect that because, at least in writing, you are really NOT funny. Have you really ever gotten past an objective audition – meaning one that wasn’t willing to accept you because you claim to be Christian and they were desperate for SOMEBODY??’
My comment: just what exactly do you qualify as a regular job? A person that loves what they do and works hard at it, to them, it IS a regular job. Your comments lead me to believe that it’s just sour grapes for you. Sour grapes are only good for making wine. Sour grapes in a person, however, only makes them bitter.
‘(B) The other thing I think it means – and we all know this – is that Christian Television broadcasters are just crying for people to be on their shows. Is THAT the sort of TV appearance you mean??’
How many books have you written? How many t.v. shows, movies or radio stations have you been on? Wow, with all these sour grapes, you could open your own w(h)inery.
PC and manners are two different things. PC is when you’re too worried about offending someone. Guess what? There’s always somebody that will get offended. Manners is a term for wanting to be polite, like opening a door for a woman. You don’t want to be PC? Fine, but don’t try to play PC off as manners.
‘I have a blog too – I’m pretty sure it’s better than yours.’
This is actually 2 sentences. You forgot the comma after ‘blog’ and a period after ‘too’.
I think you forgot to add to the ending of this sentence. “I have a blog, too. I’m pretty sure it’s better than yours. Na-na-na-boo-boo.” Then, of course, there’s the raspberry.



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