Why Clowns Hate Birth Control

My father was a clown in college. A very talented juggler in the Gamma Phi Circus at Illinois State University.  I followed in the clowning tradition on a mission trip in high school.  I took up the family tradition as a magician, a juggler, and a balloon artist.

As a former clown -although my wife might say I never fully retired in behavior- I’d like to share Bozo’s frustration with birth control.    Why would clowns be so angry about birth control?  There are many reasons. Some are moral, some are Biblical, and some are simple economics.

As a clown, I buy packages of latex balloons to make balloon animals.   As with all economic commodities, latex is subject to the laws of supply and demand.   By making condoms available so readily to anyone and everyone “freely,” the supply goes down and price goes up for those “clowns” who actually pay.   Since birth control is given out “freely” to some, the price goes up for everyone else.  This is why clowns are always such angry unhappy people [You may not see it, but under all that makeup and honking red noses are real bitter economists :)  ]    There is an important lesson to be learned from our jesters and jokers.  Supply and demand are laws that operate as consistently as the law of gravity.


Protestant and Catholic clowns do part company on birth control in general.   Protestants believe in “Sola Scriptura,” a Latin phrase made famous by Martin Luther which means “Only Scripture.”  Protestants believe that physical intimacy in marriage has multiple Biblical purposes.   In the Bible, sex is used for comforting one another (David and Bathsheba post miscarriage), reconnecting, forming families (Genesis 1-3), and pure pleasure and recreation (Song of Solomon).  Since sexual intimacy is for BOTH recreation and procreation, Protestants can enjoy birth control in the context of marriage without thwarting God’s will.   Since the Bible doesn’t align to the Catholic church’s teaching that intimacy is always for the sole purpose of procreation, protestants can enjoy birth control in the marital bed with no guilt.   In fact, we think clowning around in the bedroom is God’s will.


Proverbs 5:18-19 18 Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth. 19 As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love.

As you can see, the Bible is not prudish at all on the joys and wonders of being intimate.

When it comes to abortion as birth control, I am personally impacted by this issue.  My adopted son Quinn, who just turned two, is alive today because his birth mother cried-her-way-out of a Planned Parenthood abortion clinic.  She realized that this life within her was a life.  She realized intuitively what the Bible teaches about the sacredness of life.   God forms us in the womb (Psalms 139).  God placed his Spirit in John the Baptist in utero as a clear sign that pre-born babies are -in fact- babies.    I am so glad that my son Quinn is alive because his mother saved his life by realizing he was alive.   The role of government according to the Moral law -as well as the Declaration of Independence- is to protect life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The order of those three is important.  Life must be protected.  Why? It’s hard to enjoy your liberty and pursuit of happiness when you are dead.  C.S. Lewis confirmed that the restraints of government are limited to the moral law when he said


Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive.  It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

As our family went to the adoption judge to have Quinn officially placed into our family, we had an interesting irony.  My neighbor, several doors down, was the judge who officially signed the paper work.  A few months earlier, my kids and I went Trick-or-Treating at his house. He was dressed as a Clown passing out candy to the neighborhood kids.  We thought it was so appropriate that my son was commissioned into our family by a clown.  A reminder that clowns are not big fans of abortion, but love welcoming new people into a loving family.  Clowns love the recreation of the bedroom within the sacred context of marriage, but are affected by the economics of giving out “free services” to others.


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posted June 23, 2011 at 6:22 pm

The term is “sola scriptura.” And while that literally means “Scripture alone,” what Luther and his associates meant by its use was that, in instances where Church tradition/the teachings of the Church Magistirium regarding issues like salvation and the nature of God conflict with the Biblical witness, Scripture trumps the extrabiblical teaching of the Church. The expropriation of “sola scriptura” as a justification for a fundamentalist, literalist reading of Scripture is neither what Luther meant nor the way in which Luther engaged Scripture as a preacher, teacher or translator. Just so you know.

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posted June 23, 2011 at 7:46 pm

That seems to be what he was on about here. He said that the Catholic teaching that sex is just for procreation is unbiblical, and then shwed this. Seems to be exactly what ‘sola scriptura’ is all about.

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posted June 24, 2011 at 1:41 pm

I am sorry I do not understand how people
can say what Luther was thinking and
meaning when he wrote and said “Sola

It is interpretation and that is all it is.

However, Luther was right when he said that
as it was just scripture and not tradition
of man lead him out of darkness into the
marvelous light at the start of the reformation.

What anyone thinks was said by Luther or
other expositor of Scripture is merely
conjecture, and , not fact.

The only time one could say it was catagorically
correct is if Luther asctually stated that
it was his reasoning in side notes implying
his thoughts.


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posted June 24, 2011 at 7:06 pm

It’s actually fairly easy to know what Luther meant, because he was a prolific writer…and because his students, many of whom were boarders in the Luther home and used to discuss theology and affairs of the day with Luther and his wife around the dining room table, had a tendency to write down what he said.

But that’s a sidebar. I’m done here.

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