Life has so much to offer—once you’ve learned to deal with the monsters.

This is a series about getting the most out of life, about allowing God to work us through the tough spots, about thriving and not just surviving. It has its roots in the terrible death this year of my wife of 33 years—but more on that later. For now, just the knowledge that we can find joy when stuff happens will suffice.

‘Stuff Happens’—that’s the Southern Baptist version of the classic bumper sticker. Sometimes we contribute to our problems and sometimes we don’t—stuff just happens, pretty much all the time. It is no wonder that we often get to the point when we look to the heavens and, in our loudest and whiniest voice, plead “Aw, c’mon God, gimme a break!” Hence the title at the top of this page.

Whining. Been there, done that…and will be there again. My goal in this series is to help you get through the ‘stuff’ of life, both large and small, with a minimum of whining and a maximum of joy. To live is to stumble, often tripping over our own feet…and suffering the consequences. No surprise there: not only does stuff happen, but the consequences of stuff happen. After all, as that great theologian Lisa Simpson (Homer’s daughter) put it, “You can’t create a monster, then whine when it stomps on a few buildings.” Talk about a Godly attitude! That’s the kind of worldview that will help Lisa not just survive but thrive in The Simpsons universe…and in ours.

The wisdom of God is everywhere—even on television. God talked through, Sharon, my wife’s illness and her final death from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. There was no cure and no treatment, and her last months were as bad as it gets. But she refused to be discouraged; instead, she spent those months encouraging me to live “happily ever after” {just like her favorite Hallmark movies) and actively reach out to our family and her “sister/friend” of more than half a century so that joy and changed lives would be her legacy.

We go through life experiencing and creating monsters, problems and issues that range from small to large to galactic. Problems are part of the human condition….as is whining. And I’m an expert on whining, as I grew up in a Jewish home in New York City where whining was a participatory sport. And now I’m a born-again Christian on the faculty of the world’s largest Evangelical university…spending my days among professors, for many of whom whining has been elevated to an Olympic sport. People, religions, geography may change—but whining is forever.

For Sharon, no whining: She offered reassurance to those around her as she died and a glimpse of a God who is hope and joy and involved for good in our lives. You’ll cry, you’ll grieve, you’ll be lonely, she said, but ultimately God will work her death for the good. You’ll get through it—good advice for just about every situation we face, from the loss of a lover to a paper cut. And so, in the room where she would spend her last months on this earth, she laid out ten promises that I would work to assist the loved ones she’d leave behind to live spiritually and happily. These are promises that YOU can work to change your life. The ten promises that will be the foundation of the inspirational living covered by this column: Friendship, Faith, Joy, Unconditional Love, Hallmark, Health, Forgiveness, Perseverance, Proportion, and Patience. And as we explore the people and principles of these promises, we’ll drop a few rules for living (inspired by another great theologian, Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs of the hit series NCIS; e.g. Rule #51—Sometimes You’re Wrong).

Sharon’s Promises are a foundation that anyone—you, especially—can stand on to live a life of joy. They work because they’re a God thing, and because God and living is so much bigger and better and more spiritual than the religion and life that most of us experience. Even better than television…umm, sometimes.

What am I promising with this? Nothing less than happiness—it’s what He wants and we need.

The takeaway: Read this and walk the path to joy…despite the stuff that happens!