Beliefnet
Flunking Sainthood

Hi friends — This past weekend when speaking at a retreat, I presented some highlights from the Twible project and then had workshop participants try their hand at tweeting some chapters. We had a fantastic time and I think people understood one of the great advantages of this project for me over the last two years — when you read it carefully, looking for new (or bizarre) ways in to the text, you learn it as if for the first time.

For your enjoyment, here are some of my favorite examples, used by permission of the participants.–JKR

Gen 1: Void Light. Day night. Sky earth seas, Then came trees. Stars, moon, sun. Birds, bees, hum. Bear & squirrel. Boy & girl.  –Linda

Gen 2: G to Adam: “Don’t eat from fancy tree.” Creates Eve from Adam’s rib. Mad has only one rib. Eats apple. –Nancy

Gen 22:  G tells Abraham to kill kid. Ab: “Goat?” G: “Isaac!” Altar. Fire. Knife. G: “Just kidding!” No infanticide. Today. Yay!  –Heather

Gen 29: 7 years for Rachel. PSYCH! 7 more to do. Leah wants love, so has a baby. No luck. Maybe 4th time’s a charm? –Kirsten

Ex 5: Mo: Let my people go so we can party in the desert. Pharaoh: That’s it! There goes your straw. Work harder, not smarter.  –Margaret

Ex 15: You drowned my enemies. That was so cool! Glad you’re on my side. Miriam likes this. #unattractivegloating  –Kristine

Ex 32: If you call God a cow He has the power to grind up your words & make you eat them. #udderrevenge  –Aimee

Lev 12: New moms with sons need 7 days to be socially acceptable. Sorry, 2x that for daughters. But at least no need to cut off a body part. –Robin

Num 5: Cooties very contagious. Women have the most. Run away! #GodIsOCD  –Kristine

Num 11: Israelites whining; God zaps with fire. Survivors ask, “What’s for dinner?” A lesson for parents? –Sarah

Num 19: Just about anything makes you unclean. Dead stuff especially icky. Wait until midnight : then Bibbity Bobbity Boo! –Linda

 

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