Flunking Sainthood

Flunking Sainthood

A Glenn Beck Haiku / Contest Can Be Cathartic! / Poetic Justice

4393514042_ff5e669e66.jpgFun, fun! The Religion News Service blog is reporting that representatives of Jewish Funds for Justice have received over 1,000 entries so far in their Glenn Beck haiku contest.They’re particularly interested in people’s haiku comebacks to Beck’s controversial statements in March about social justice churches:


“I beg you, look for the words ‘social justice’ or ‘economic justice’ on your church website. If you find it, run as fast as you can. Social justice and economic justice are code words [for Communism and Nazism]. Am I advising people to leave their church? Yes!”

Readers of Flunking Sainthood may already know how I feel about Mr. Beck’s controversial statements, because I blogged about it here in March. But to say it in haiku . . . that’s a whole new challenge!

You can vote at the site for your top haiku statements, or you can create your own in the 5-7-5 meter. (If you do, please share them here too.) Here are some of the site’s top contenders so far:


Bend it like Beck – and
Kick the words around until
Justice is “Just-Us”

“You look like Glenn Beck”
Somebody once said to me
Then I grew a beard

And finally:

Things you don’t deserve:
Respect, an audience, and
A full haiku. 

I am dreaming up my own Beck-u. Maybe something like this:

I’m haikuing you

One Mormon to another:

Our church loves justice.

Or how about this one?

Social justice calls

Christians to make sure hearts aren’t

Two sizes too small.

  • GrahamT

    See how offensive
    I can be and hide behind
    Mormon credentials.

  • Michael

    Spew all you want, fool!
    Harry Reid is up by six.
    Thanks to you and yours.

  • Michael

    I make this point (last post) very seriously. As a democrat, one who wishes the president well, and likes what the administration is doing, I cannot imagine a better ally in the fight than Mssr. Beck. He has galvanized the looniest fringe elements of his party to do really silly things, like nominate unelectable candidates and try to force positions that will end up being deeply unpopular. In the current political environment, the democrats could be in deep trouble if they were opposed by a credible opposition party. Beck has done a very good job of making sure that does not happen.

  • Chris

    He was needlessly and stupidly divisive. He should really step back and evaluate what he wants to accomplish and how he is his own worst enemy in realizing it. I think for all that get involved in politics, even Harry Reid, I’m sure, politics poisons the way we look at others politically. And it’s too easy to let that grow out of hand. (Not saying Reid does it to the extent Beck does, but then again, Reid is not spouting at the mouth for 3 hours a day — no one can do that in an adversarial political system without acting stupidly offensive)
    But that’s incidental. I don’t need to defend him, just don’t like seeing anyone pile on top of someone else who puts their foot in their mouth, only because I do it routinely.
    My real comment/question is, may I ask when will society be considered just? (what conditions would need to be met) And will legislation and political coercion accomplish?

  • Ben Daniel

    The guy drives me nuts.
    I don’t even watch his show.
    This can’t be healthy.

  • Glenn

    tea party spokesman
    defying words of wisdom
    United Order

  • Steven

    he that hath two eyes
    let him see justice quickly
    the smiter smitten

  • DMc

    Elephants should give
    Donkeys will force you to give
    Choose God or the pit

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