This blog is for anyone who was told that once you invite Jesus into your life, you and your life will never be the same again- only to discover that what you were told was simply not true. Life and the way you looked at it may have changed, but your old familiar patterns and ways of relating did not. Not immediately, at least. Not even soon. In fact, you found yourself relearning the same lesson over and over again, so that your journey seemed a bit more like driving over and over again through the same roundabout while trying to read the signs to your destination in a foreign language. Or, like stopping, then starting, and taking detours here and there. Other times what you thought was your point of destination, or at least the scenic route, turned out to be a dead end.
If this experience resonates with yours, the good news is that you are not alone and you have come to the right place. I suspect that there is a whole company of saints and sinners out there just like us for whom “conversion” has been a whole lot messier, incomplete and unrefined. For whom there are days when it seems impossible to believe in a loving God, not to mention act like it. For whom an experience of “church” has left us wanting and searching for more. More depth. More honesty. More trust and authenticity. More grappling with real questions. Without the judgment. More room for the grays.
Here we can find fellowship together: where I throw out thoughts, reflections, questions, doubts and proclamations, I invite you to join the conversation. Hence, the term, “fellowship.” We are a society or community of friends whose common bond is their identity as “saints” and “sinners.” Who recognize their equality before God.
Some definitions are in store here. The term, “saint,” can vary across denominational and religious lines, but my use here is in its broadest sense: “saints” are those who believe in God’s love, embodied most clearly in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, and are striving to live into that reality. ”Sinners” are those who fall short, miss the mark, transgress, break moral laws, do bad, sometimes evil things and recognize the wretchedness of their sinful condition apart from the saving grace of God.
So this blog is really for anyone, “converted,” “unconverted,” or always “converting,” who seeks God in the messiness of real life. St. Anselm called it “faith seeking understanding.” Whatever it is, I would like to think that the journey will never end and that there’s plenty of grace to be had in the journeying itself.