This week with the start of another school year and a few more things added to our family’s schedule, I’ve found myself even more glued to my iPhone- so glued, in fact, that just the other day I found myself exclaiming to my husband, “my whole life is in here!” (He had to correct me.) I guess you could say that lately I’ve been worshiping at the altar of my iPhone.
Which has me doing a spiritual inventory of sorts around my iPhone usage. If you, like me, find yourself regularly engaging in three or more of the following behaviors, you may have a problem, and your relationship with God and your neighbors may be suffering:
1. You begin to worry, sweat marbles and cuss under your breath when you’ve misplaced your iPhone.
2. When you’re glancing at your iPhone, your jaw drops, your breath stabilizes and you become transfixed, tuning out the world around you like a yogi in meditation.
3. You would rather spend more time perusing on Facebook what your new, virtual friend in Bangalore had for dinner than being alone with God in prayer.
4. You’re convinced that the majority of your virtual friends really are your friends. Not!
5. You obsessively glance at your phone in meetings, Bible studies and especially in Sunday morning worship when the preacher is being a bore.
6. You find it difficult to avoid picking up your phone when you’re driving (even if it is illegal). Other drivers have cast dirty looks your way or yelled things like, “You know that’s illegal,” or, “Get off your phone!,” when you’re looking at your phone rather than at the stoplight in front of you.
7. Your phone alerts wake up you or your spouse in the middle of the night.
8. You’ve convinced yourself that responding to an e-mail or text message by the end of the day, rather than within an hour, is a slow turnaround time.
9. You take your iPhone with you literally everywhere you go.
10. Your iPhone makes you feel important on a more consistent basis than the fact that God loves you.
11. You can’t stop thinking about what to tweet or post or blog about- even when you’re having sex.
12. You’re convinced that Steve Jobs, not Jesus, is the greatest man who ever lived.
Have I missed anything here? Got any more behaviors to add to this list? Send them along!