Beliefnet
Fellowship of Saints and Sinners

"Take nothing with you...except for a good suit, this watch, and oh, here's your quota. And take the client to a really nice restaurant, too, because image is everything."

If Jesus were a CEO pastor, then…

…before the sending out of the disciples, he would have canvassed the neighborhoods around Palestine before devising a marketing strategy (Matthew 10).

…he would have sent the disciples out, in the spirit of Steve Carrell’s character, Michael Scott, from “The Office,” in suits, with Armani watches, leather brief cases, the church credit card and a “sales quota” for church membership expansion.

…he would have used billboards, newspaper ads and every manner of slick advertising to attract people to his church.

…he would have read all the motivational, self-help books out there, including Dave Kraft’s Leaders Who Last- (see fellow saint and sinner Tammy Perlutter’s review, which inspired this list and which you can read in the post that follows)- and he would have preached like it, too.

…he would have crafted a vision statement and strategic plan with measurable outcomes at least every couple years just to stay current with “church growth” trends.

…he would have picked his followers based on looks, business background, pedigree and/or how well they could give to the annual stewardship campaign.

…he would have had little time for sick people with all manner of afflictions because they would be a drain on his time (forget about healing, in other words!).

…he would have approached all relationships with a view to what they can do for his image and his church.

…he would have cultivated and employed his celebrity status, seizing every photo opp and interview with the ancient “press corps” rather than keeping his identity as “Messiah” such a big secret.

…he would have taught his disciples to pray, “my kingdom come, my will be done.”

…he would have used a good lawyer to help him avoid a very inconvenient, not to mention painful, crucifixion (which would have ruined his reputation after all).

…he would have never showed his scars, because that would have meant he had been wounded- and he would have taught his disciples to do the same.  (“The Golden Rule” for effective CEO pastors? “Never show your vulnerabilities.”)

I’m so glad Jesus was not a CEO pastor, because it means He has time for people like you and me- and He chooses to use people like you and me, too.

 

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