Face the Pain

September 11, 2006 was an awesome and traumatic day for me.  Awesome because my son, William, was born just after midnight.  Traumatic because his birth was 14 weeks early AND he weighed 1lb-14oz.  Ya, they call that a 26 weeker.  That was my introduction to the word micro-preemie.

Just the evening before my wife, Lisa, and I spent a few hours at Virginia Beach General Hospital getting checked on by nurses because of cramping.  They gave us the thumbs up.  Everything was fine.  So, around 10pm we left the hospital reassured.  At 12:07am reassurance came to a screeching halt!  I was awakened by excruciating screams from Lisa.  She was in the bathroom, on the toilet, doubled over, bleeding!  My only words were, “What’s wrong?”  I was in a panic, a frenzy!  My wife was in agonizing pain and I felt helpless.  I picked her up, put her on the bed, put her clothes on and next we’re flying down Laskin Road headed for the hospital. 

I pulled up and tried to go to the same office that we were at just hours earlier BUT IT WAS CLOSED!  Off to the emergency room we went!  I ran in looking for help and found the security guard.  All he said was, “Sir, what’s wrong?” and I lost it.  I broke down crying.  “My wife.  She needs help.  She’s out in the car.”  The security guard followed me outside with a wheelchair.  I helped Lisa out of the car and as soon as she stood up her water broke.  To me, at the time, that was no big deal.  I did not know what it actually meant!  I had absolutely no idea that William would be born shortly thereafter.  I just thought that my wife was in a lot of pain, the doctors would help her and we would simply go back home.

NOPE!  God had different plans for us that morning.  The point of no return at times makes you feel defenseless.  Not everything makes sense.  Not every decision seems right.  Sometimes decisions are made for us and we feel completely out of control.  That is how I felt.  Completely out of control.  Unarmed.  Unprepared.  Undermanned.  Ever feel alone and the world as you know it appears to be coming loose at the seams?  Me too.  I lived it and I kept it together.

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