Everyday Spirituality

Everyday Spirituality


Give-and-Take in Marriage

posted by Cheryl Petersen

My husband and I compromise. However, the give-and-take is not a symptom of, “If you do this, I’ll do that,” syndrome. We compromise by applying spiritual rules of common sense, forgiveness, and honesty. The hardest part is not getting set in our ways and then thinking we can compromise with spiritual rules.

Spiritual rules are very powerful when applied in everyday life. But what makes them powerful is when I don’t treat the rules as if they are human beings to compromise with.

Hauling garbage on my bike

When I apply common sense, there is no arguing about who does what in a marriage. My husband drives the pickup truck so he hauls the garbage to the dump. I nursed the babies. But sometimes I haul the garbage if it is inconvenient for my husband.

When I apply forgiveness, I learn to forgive myself for having unreasonable expectations and this in turn relieves me from getting angry at my husband. My husband was not created to make me whole. I will only find wholeness within my own consciousness of God, Love.

When I apply honesty, my actions and words become more sincere. My husband and I have a genuine, heartfelt, practical, understanding of one another, full of humor. We cooperate while raising the children, doing the house work, shoveling snow, and working at our careers, but all the while reminding ourselves not to try to negotiate with spiritual rules.

It is unnecessary to negotiate with spiritual rules. That is why it is impossible. As the rules of common sense, forgiveness, and honesty are applied, the natural result is a feeling spiritual connectedness whether married or not.

From Science and Health, “In Science, there is no attitude of give-and-take; there is no human element that says, “If you do this, I’ll do that.” Do physicists collaborate with the law of gravity in order to go to the moon? No. They have the faith they can do it, then they study to understand the principles of physics, then they apply the rules, and then they go to the moon.”

 



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