Everyday Ethics

Everyday Ethics

I Wish Everyone Would Shut Up About Patrick Swayze

But it’s not because I didn’t like him. I actually loved the guy, as much as one can love an actor one doesn’t know personally. I thought he was great, sexy, funny, a man’s man and a woman’s heartthrob. I don’t have a bad word to say about him.

But I still want the world to stop throwing his death in my face. Stop Facebook RIP’ing him, stop Twittering “Oh I’m so sad,” stop moaning, “Hope you’re dirty dancing in heaven,” and stop reminiscing about how he saved all us “Babies” from languishing in corners.

Because Patrick Swayze had the same kind of cancer my mom was diagnosed with two years ago. 
And, selfishly, I just don’t want to be reminded of how lethal, how brutal, pancreatic cancer can be. My mom’s still here, still doing well, but every time we lose someone like Swayze or Randy Pausch, I feel a horrible pang of mortality. “Shut up, shut up, shut up!” I want to scream.
So today, I’m unable to be a rational, reasonable person and see people’s outpourings of grief for the normal expressions of emotion they are. I’m only thinking about myself, my own fears, my own needs. I’m not giving the man his due. It’s a bit of an ethical fail on my part, I’ll admit. Instead of kvetching about Swayze mourners, I ought to be using the opportunity to call for further cancer research, though I’m sure there are no lack of calls for that already. 
So, if I’m touchy on this subject, I apologize. And I think I’d better stay off the social media networks for a while, until the flurry of remembrances dies down.
The (perhaps underdeveloped) gracious part of me does want to have a say here, however, so here goes:
RIP, you handsome devil. I truly enjoyed your work, I pray your passing wasn’t too difficult, and I’ll keep your family in my thoughts. And for everyone out there afflicted with this awful illness, my solidarity lies with you. Perhaps the best, most ethical way to behave in moments like these is to form a chain of support, not hole up in our individual misery the way I’ve been doing.
Thoughts? Advice? More “Baby-in-the-corner” reminiscences you just can’t help throwing my way?
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posted September 15, 2009 at 7:38 pm

Ok, my dad has been dealing with pancreatic cancer on and off for about 6 years now, but…wow…the man just died yesterday. I have to wonder how you survived people mourning Michael Jackson.

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posted September 16, 2009 at 4:44 pm

My sympathy’s and prayers for all of you that are dealing with your own pancreatic cancer or that of a loved one. I guess I am just not into the whole cry for the movie star scene. A documentary or two I can deal with but when the lead story in papers, magazines and on TV for weeks on end is about an actor that has died I stop watching the news.

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posted September 17, 2009 at 12:58 pm

My prayers are with the family and everyone that knew him. He was indeed a very good person and actor.
I know life can be very short for some and very long for others, but whatever the case, we need to up lift the family and just ask God for His comfort, peace and rest for them all. I lost my father to cancer and its hard to see them suffer…but there is One who is there, waiting for us to run to and that is God. He alone is the ONLY One who can carry us through ALL life’s ups and downs!!! Try Him, He is bigger than the word “cancer”.

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posted September 20, 2009 at 4:32 pm

Don’t want to hear about Patrick Swayze? How about Michael Jackson – are we done yet????????????!!!!!!!!

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