Everyday Ethics

sad party sign.jpgPeople keep sending me the oddest ethical issues. Like this one, which came by way of a pal living in Prague. She stumbled across a blog post written by a guy who had been invited to–get this–an abortion party. After blogging about his experiences and his reaction, I found myself having my own.

Holy ovaries, Batman… an abortion party?!?

I’m proudly pro-choice, and I must tell you that I’ve known a few women who’ve been through having abortions. Some were haunted, some seemed able to put the experience behind them more easily. But I sure as heck don’t know anyone who invited dozens of their friends to a) contribute money to pay for it, and b) celebrate the event with hors d’oeuvres and beer.

The blogger, Byard Duncan, describes the party’s vibe thusly:

“Walking in, we were bludgeoned with a blast of hot air, followed by the tangy stink of dance floor revelry. Someone had taken a red bed sheet and hung it below a light fixture to resemble a giant womb. Every so often, a dancer’s head or arm or dreadlock would brush against one of its smooth folds, creating a rippling effect. “Let’s Go Crazy” by Prince was playing.”

My gut reaction to this little soiree is twofold. While I don’t think one should have to hide in shame for terminating a pregnancy, it doesn’t seem anything to celebrate either–certainly not with light fixtures covered in red cloth to look like wombs. I’m half appalled, and totally shocked, even while I want to support a fellow female’s right to choose.

I liked Duncan’s carefully neutral take on the issue:

“Abortion is, after all, a very tricky topic — a minefield of opinions where the slightest misstep can elicit unexpected reactions from friends, family, co-workers and strangers.”

How true. I don’t want to tell any woman how to conduct her business or lead her life. I just have a feeling I wouldn’t want to be this gal’s friend. Or attend any social events she might throw. Either she has the most macabre sense of humor of all time, she has no sense of boundaries and privacy, or she just really wants to feel everyone’s onboard with her decision. Well, I’m not onboard. I think this is perhaps the tackiest, and saddest, party I ever heard of.

In fact, it may be her party, but I’ll cry if I want to.  

By the way, the gals at were having their own reaction (click here if you want to read more) complaining about the guy’s supposedly dunderheaded attempts to understand a woman’s psyche and reproductive concerns. I disagree heartily with their assessment.

Photo by flickr user quinn.anya

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