Dream Gates

Dream Gates

When the dead are still with us

Brown_lady.jpgQuite frequently dreams reveal that the departed are present because, quite simply, they never left. A California woman dreamed she entered her living room and found her departed boyfriend on the sofa watching, TV. Surprised, she asked what he was doing there. He responded, “I’m just watching TV”. He did not seem to be aware that he had died.

The departed may linger because they have unfinished business, or wish to act as guide and protector to the family, or are attached to people and places they loved in waking life, and this may be a perfectly happy situation for a year or two. But there comes a time when our departed need to move on, for their own growth, and so they do not become a psychic burden to the living. Because our society does a poor job in preparing people for the afterlife, many people who have passed on do not know they are dead, and hover in a limbo close to familiar people and places on this Earth.


We do not need to be especially psychic to notice that in a certain kind of bar, “dead” barflies outnumber the living ones. When the departed remain earthbound, the effects are unhealthy both for those who have died and those among the living to whom they are connected. When the dead are enmeshed with the living, the result is mutual confusion, loss of energy, and the transfer of addictions, obsessions and even physical ailments from the departed to the person whose energy field he or she is sharing.

When the dead are still around in a dense energy body, they can produce physical or ghostly phenomena. The dense energy body of a deceased person should not be confused with their surviving consciousness or enduring spirit. It needs to be contained and dispersed. This sometimes reqiires a “second burial”; I offer detailed guidance on how to conduct this ritual of containment band release in my Dreamer’s Book of the Dead. However much love we may have shared with a decease loved one, we do not want long-term entanglement of the energies of the dead and the living on this level.


Helping the departed may involve a loving dialogue, a simple ritual of honoring and farewell, and invoking spiritual helpers. As we become active dreamers, familiar with the geography of the afterlife, we may find we are called on to provide personal escort services and help to instruct some of our departed on their options on the other side, as explained in detail in my Dreamer’s Book of the Dead. William Butler Yeats noted quite accurately that “the living can assist the imaginations of the dead”.

Brown Lady ghost photograph by Captain Hubert C. Provand. Published in Countrylife magazine, 1936

Next: Why the dead come calling 

  • Don

    From time to time I have noticed ghosts who appeared to be resident. Years ago in Hawaii, where I was born, people openly talked about such things.
    A friend of mine once owned a home where the ghost of a woman lived. While visiting I occasionally saw her walking down the hall past where we were sitting. Neither of us knew who she was or why she remained there. My friend, who practices huna, was finally was able to contact her and help her on her way.
    My daughter and her husband purchased a home inhabited by a ghost. In this case the ghost was not often visible. But it apparently wanted to be there and to help people.
    Years ago there was a hotel fire that killed several people on the Oregon coast. The hotel was rebuilt. A ghost of a sad little boy who had died in the fire could sometimes be seen standing, looking out of a window. He apparently was mystified by what had happened. I was told that some people spoke to him telling him: “Please, go to heaven.” Finally someone was able to contact a spirit on “the other side” who helped the little boy progress on his way.
    At the time the above situations took place I did not have a clue as to how to help.
    My guess is that the presence of ghosts, of souls needing to progress along their way, is more common that most of us realize. Some people seem to be able to see them. I do not see them. But I believe they are here.
    One thing this tells me is that we need to prepare ourselves to move on when the time comes. We must not become trapped that way ourselves.

  • Robert Moss

    Don – One thing we can always do when we become aware of spirits of the deceased who are lost or earthbound is to ask for THEIR guides to help them to find their way.

  • Don

    Robert – I know that and other ways to help now, but I did not know it years ago.

  • Wanda Burch

    A co-worker was haunted by the presence of her mother, who appeared night after night in her dreams, attempting to kill her in each of the dreams. Her mother, a sweet woman when still alive, had died quickly and violently in an auto accident and seemed unable to move on. She tried to kill Bonnie, the co-worker, with snow-plows, axes, cars, exploding boats and even tried to lure her into a church surrounded by the bodies of snarling devils. Bonnie would not – or could not – tell her mother to leave. Then her mother’s sister died in a more normal manner surrounded by friends and family. The day after the sister died, Bonnie dreamed one more dream of her mother. She was back in the house where she grew up, trapped inside with her mother, the windows and doors locked, cobwebs everywhere and dirty dishes piled in the sink. Bonnie was trying to get out when suddenly the sister burst through the door, grabbed Bonnie’s mother and told her to first clean the place up, open the windows and doors so that light could get in and then it would be time to go. The mother did as she was told and the sister then told her she was dead and that it was time to move on. She snatched her out through the now open door; and Bonnie was free. Her mother’s sister did in seconds what Bonnie had been unable to do for years!

  • Robert Moss

    Wanda – Wonderful how Bonnie’s aunt was able to play psychopomp for the earthbound mother. We learn from this vivid and disturbing story how the dead, when stuck and lonely and confused, can try to pull the living into their realm.

  • Robert Moss

    Don – Understood. I would add that it’s essential for us to know and remember that help from higher powers is ALWAYS available, and that it’s a good idea to ask for help nicely.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment BRENDA mcbride

    I am amazed at the things Ive learned on your site. Its so reassuring that our loved ones still are with us. Im a writer and have a website that you may be interested in….
    Please look it over and let me know if i can write something to add to your site. Id be honored! hope to hear from you, Brenda

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