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Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together Archives

10 Guidelines for Talking to Your Kids About Marital Separation

posted by Linda Mintle

It’s tragic whenever a marriage comes to a point where two people are struggling to coexist. When a relationship becomes toxic, dangerous, emotionally exhausting or so contentious that two people can’t have a civil conversation, separation can function like a […]

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Is Your Marriage More Than a Contract?

posted by Linda Mintle

The way you think about marriage matters. When marriage is reduced to a set up conditions, you do this, I’ll do that… and as long as we are happy, we stay together, you’ve missed God’s design for marriage. Do you […]

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6 Signs of a Failing Relationship

posted by Linda Mintle

Kim and Mark were hopeless romantics when they fell in love. But lately, the marriage was faltering and both were considering divorce. When they came to see me, I saw six signs of distress that told me things were not […]

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Three Divorce Predictors

posted by Linda Mintle

It may surprise you what researchers Alan Booth,  Paul Amato and colleagues at Penn State found to be important predictors of divorce when they studied long term marriage and divorce. 1) Couples who do NOT own a house. House owners are […]

Are You a Walk Away Wife?

posted by Linda Mintle

Is your wife nagging you? Take this as a good sign. It might mean she is still invested in the marriage and not ready to walk away. Maybe you’ve heard about the Walk-away Wife Syndrome. It’s a phrase that has […]

A Marital Lesson from Hosea

posted by Linda Mintle

As a marital therapist for the past 30 years, I have seen too many couples divorce over fixable problems. When I talk about fixable problems I am referring to couples who stop liking each other, grow apart and refuse to […]

10 Tips to Stay Married For A Life Time

posted by Linda Mintle

I recently received a tweet from the Huffington Post about the myth of marriage for a lifetime. Honestly, I didn’t even open the link because I am so tired of hearing how impossible it is to stay married to someone. […]

Telling Kids You Are Divorcing

posted by Linda Mintle

Reader Question: My husband and I are separating and will most likely divorce. We have two young children. I am wondering how to tell them about the divorce. I am really dreading this because I know how upsetting it will […]

Will This Couple Divorce?

posted by Linda Mintle

John and Ann are asked about the history of their relationship. They have nothing positive to say. In fact, all they can remember are the problems. For years, they have been unable to deal with conflict in a way that […]

When Your Think Your Marriage is Over, Think Again!

posted by Linda Mintle

Sarah and John were at a family dinner. During a trip to the restroom, John pulled Sarah aside and said, “I’m done. No more of this. I want out of this marriage. ” Sarah, stunned and speechless, wondered what prompted […]

Previous Posts

8 Questions: Are You A Hard Worker or Workalholic?
In the same way a drug addict uses cocaine or an alcoholic downs booze, work can have an anesthetizing effect on negative emotions. People use work to escape and avoid unpleasant emotional states. But because hard work is so sanctioned in our society, it is an addiction often minimized. Our once

posted 6:00:40am Mar. 27, 2015 | read full post »

Breaking the Mental Habit of Worry
Because worry is in the mind, it is a mental habit that must be broken. Here are a few practical tips to help break the worry habit: Identify the thought behind the worried or anxious feeling. Let it come and don’t try to suppress it with thoughts like, “Stop worrying” “Don’t do this

posted 6:00:40am Mar. 25, 2015 | read full post »

Hurt By a Conflict? How Do You ReBuild Trust?
You've heard the saying, trust is easy to break, hard to repair. How do you go about building trust with someone you’ve hurt! The key is to know the other person’s world and reliably respond to it. Do what you say. Keep your promises. Empathize with the other person’s issue and try to see t

posted 6:00:39am Mar. 23, 2015 | read full post »

Should You Keep Secrets From Your Partner?
I was in the grocery store yesterday, and the tabloids were headlining the secret love child of yet another celebrity couple. Even though we tend to expect this sort of thing from celebrity relationships, secrets are a problem. They don’t usually end well. I am often asked if it is a good idea

posted 6:00:53am Mar. 20, 2015 | read full post »

What's Your Attachment Style in Conflict?
We all develop an insecure or secure bond with our original families. That bond is referred to as an attachment style. The more secure the bond, the better you will deal with conflict. Two bonding styles make conflict difficult--anxious and avoidant. To feel more secure you want to lower your an

posted 6:00:47am Mar. 18, 2015 | read full post »

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