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Conflict is a normal part of every relationship. When it isn’t managed well, it can rip a relationship apart. Katie and Tim knew this, and were at a breaking point if things didn’t change. Every day there was a blow up over something. And during those blow ups, things escalated. Their emotions ran so high,…

In doing couples coaching, I draw heavily on the three decades of research by John Gottman, Robert Levenson and colleagues at the Gottman Institute. This group has contributed much to our understanding of healthy relationships through their research with couples. Gottman describes couples as “masters” or “disasters” of relationships. As you would guess, “the masters of…

One of my favorite books is the classic, Wuthering Heights, written by Emily Bronte. It’s a story of passionate love between Heathcliff and Catherine who have known each other since childhood. Life separates them. When Heathcliff hears that his Catherine has died, he feels deep anguishes and cries out, “Be with me always. Take any form-drive…

Are you growing apart? There are markers to indicate if this is the case. I recently watched a couple at a restaurant. They never spoke or interacted. One of them was on texting through most of the dinner. They looked extremely unhappy, bored and distance. How do couples get to this stage of emotional distance? Is there a…
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