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Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

Your Mental Health Could Be Contagious

posted by Linda Mintle

depressed studentsYou are sick with the flu so you stay home so as not to infect anyone. But did you ever think your mental health could be contagious?

Researchers at Nortre Dame discovered that thinking styles can be contagious. Your negative thinking can infect another person. Here is what they found.

Notre Dame, like most universities, assigns roommates their freshman year. The researchers looked at how the roommates responded to diversity, specifically how they thought about problems in school like failing an exam. When a more positive person was paired with a more negative person, the negative person infected the positive. Students who were more negative saw failure as a personal problem compared to the more positive student who chalked it up to circumstances like not studying enough. The students who attributed failure to personal problems were more at risk for depression down the road.

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But what was really interesting is that the researchers tracked pairs of students who had different styles of responding to adversity and found they infected each other. Within 6 months, the negative students had successfully infected the formally cheery students! And the reverse was also true. The cheery students infected the negative students in a good way making them more resilient.

The take away–you can catch the cheer from cheery people. Try to surround yourself with people who are upbeat and look at the glass half full. if you are heading off to college, find a roommate who is upbeat and deals with adversity in a positive way. Or become that person who refuses to give in to the negative and sees the bright side of even the most difficult situation.

Spread the cheer. Infect someone today!

 

Source: Haeffel & Hames, Department of Psychology, University of Notre Dame, Cognitive Vulnerability to Depression Can Be Contagious. Published in Clinical Psychological Science, April 2013.

 

 

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Kardashian Goes Directional With Baby Name

posted by Linda Mintle

I’m feeling blog lite today. So let me focus on a rather unimportant issue, well at least unimportant to most of us, but not to one little girl. One little girl will grow up with an unusually name that could be the brunt of teasing. Right now, her parents are not  married. Not sure if they ever will be. And she will grow up in an incredible spotlight, making it difficult to have any type of normal life. That girl is the new baby of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. They named her North West!

Yes, you read that right–NORTH WEST.

I”m not even sure how to think of that name. It’s really a direction. Can you imagine how confused Siri will be?

With all the hype around the birth of this baby, the couple is still unsure about getting married. I know that isn’t a big deal in Hollywood anymore, but it is a big deal to children. They need mothers and fathers around to model a committed marriage. Marriage has benefits for both children and parents. And let’s not forget, that marriage is still God’s plan for raising children. But God isn’t consulted much these days when it comes to people having babies out of wedlock. What was a stigma years ago in my lifetime, has now become posh, at least among the wealthy. But what disturbs me most is this growing belief that both mothers and fathers are not needed to raise children.

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If we follow the data, we find this isn’t true. Children, raised by single parents don’t fare as well as those raise by two. Money isn’t what makes it all OK. It’s the necessary roles both parents play in a child’s life. And I am sad when I read stories like the Kardashian-West relationship in which Kanye is given big points for being interested in his new daughter. Really, this child is his responsibility, not a new toy or gadget trying to interest him.

So here’s another child brought into the world in an unstable family. But we celebrate it because of celebrity, which has nothing to do with raising a healthy child.

 

 

 

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A Come Back for Modesty: Why Women Should Not Bare All

posted by Linda Mintle

Modesty–a word that sounds like a throw back to another time.

But not every young person is shunning the idea of modesty despite the celebrity trend to bare all.

In fact, a friend sent me a link to a short video (about 9 minutes) of a young woman who has not bought the lie that taking off your clothes means power for women. When women are scantily dressed, they become nothing more than sexual objects to men. And she quotes brain science to prove her point. I could not agree more.

So, I am featuring this short FB video from Jessica Rey who not only powerfully presents her message but also took action to make a difference. Wait until you see how she responded and makes modesty fashionable again.

Moms of teens, we need more Jessica’s out there. Jessica, thanks for taking your message public and creating what you did.  CLICK ON THE PICTURE TO WATCH.

Screen shot 2013-06-21 at 8.10.51 AM

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Anxious Child? Face the Fear!

posted by Linda Mintle

2 anxious childYou’ve heard it said — face your fears. Well there is more truth in that sentiment then you probably know.

You don’t overcome anxiety by avoiding whatever makes you anxious. You overcome it by gradually facing it.

Children are no exception. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that approximately 18 million children under the age of 18 struggle with anxiety disorders. Sources of anxiety include bullying, problems at home, and personal coping styles. Anxiety can be so debilitating that it effects every day living. Parents try to protect a child by taking him or her out of the anxious situation. But is avoiding anxiety the best solution?

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No, it is better to face the anxious situation rather than avoid it.

By slowing exposing him or her to things that make his/her anxious, the fear lessens.

Try this with your child:

1) Tell your child to take a small step towards facing whatever fear is present.

2) Allow your child to make a decision about how he or she will face that fear, e.g., walk towards it, get nearer to it, engage in part of it, etc.

3) Encourage the child to take a step in that direction and allow the anxiety to come.

4) Praise him or her once the step has been taken

5) Move on to the next step until more of the fear is faced.

Eventually, the child will engage in the behavior and not be so anxious because he or she has gradually been exposed to the fear.

 

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