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Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

A Come Back for Modesty: Why Women Should Not Bare All

posted by Linda Mintle

Modesty–a word that sounds like a throw back to another time.

But not every young person is shunning the idea of modesty despite the celebrity trend to bare all.

In fact, a friend sent me a link to a short video (about 9 minutes) of a young woman who has not bought the lie that taking off your clothes means power for women. When women are scantily dressed, they become nothing more than sexual objects to men. And she quotes brain science to prove her point. I could not agree more.

So, I am featuring this short FB video from Jessica Rey who not only powerfully presents her message but also took action to make a difference. Wait until you see how she responded and makes modesty fashionable again.

Moms of teens, we need more Jessica’s out there. Jessica, thanks for taking your message public and creating what you did.  CLICK ON THE PICTURE TO WATCH.

Screen shot 2013-06-21 at 8.10.51 AM

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Anxious Child? Face the Fear!

posted by Linda Mintle

2 anxious childYou’ve heard it said — face your fears. Well there is more truth in that sentiment then you probably know.

You don’t overcome anxiety by avoiding whatever makes you anxious. You overcome it by gradually facing it.

Children are no exception. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that approximately 18 million children under the age of 18 struggle with anxiety disorders. Sources of anxiety include bullying, problems at home, and personal coping styles. Anxiety can be so debilitating that it effects every day living. Parents try to protect a child by taking him or her out of the anxious situation. But is avoiding anxiety the best solution?

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No, it is better to face the anxious situation rather than avoid it.

By slowing exposing him or her to things that make his/her anxious, the fear lessens.

Try this with your child:

1) Tell your child to take a small step towards facing whatever fear is present.

2) Allow your child to make a decision about how he or she will face that fear, e.g., walk towards it, get nearer to it, engage in part of it, etc.

3) Encourage the child to take a step in that direction and allow the anxiety to come.

4) Praise him or her once the step has been taken

5) Move on to the next step until more of the fear is faced.

Eventually, the child will engage in the behavior and not be so anxious because he or she has gradually been exposed to the fear.

 

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Are You OK With Your Kid’s Use of Media?

posted by Linda Mintle

child and screenI’d love to hear from you on this question!

According to a survey conducted by Northwestern researchers, most parents answered, YES!

Despite the number of hours spent with TV, tablets, cell phones, computers and other devices, only 30% of the 2326 parents surveyed were concerned that their young children consumed too much media. Yes,parents acknowledged that all these screens are not good for physical activity, but most didn’t see screen use as a source of conflict in the home and are OK with overages.

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Also TV remains a popular way to divert or reward kids.

Could it be that the reason the concern is not there is that parents are also heavy users? Parents do have control over very young kids and in many cases, TVs are in the kid’s bedrooms along with other screen devices.  

The American Academy of Pediatrics says this is a NO NO and strongly recommends screen time be zero for children 2 and under and only 2 hours a day for older kids.

It doesn’t appear that every family is following that advice. Some think the AAP is out of touch with reality, but the organization is basing its recommendations on evidenced-based practices. So parents, decide for yourself if you want to get those kids off screens and more active.

Maybe the answer is that the entire family needs to rethink how they use screens.

Maybe we all need to be more active.

Maybe we just won’t care and will continue to be heavy media consumers.

Your thoughts?

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One Secret to Keeping Love Alive

posted by Linda Mintle

smaller sports coupleDo you like to roller skating?

How about hiking?

Maybe consider taking cooking classes or release that inner artist by painting.

You could be on to something and discovering one of the secrets to keeping love alive.

When couples try new things together, it helps prevent relationship boredom and complaining. In fact, new experiences tap into the brain’s reward system, flooding it with powerful chemicals that boost pleasure and bonding.

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Novelty is good for relationships and makes people happy.

But that novelty needs to be SHARED by you as a couple in order to get this relationship benefit.

So here is what I suggest. Think about what your partner likes to do. Could you be a part of that? For example, my husband was an avid soccer playing and fan. I was not, but when we married, I figured I should get into the sport and share his passion. Going to see professional soccer and watching our campus team are fun and  activities we can share together. I, on the other hand, being raised in the north, loved to snow ski. My husband, raised in the tropics, had no clue. But he strapped on a pair of skis and gave it the college try. And while he wasn’t skiing the black diamond runs, I gave him lots of praise for joining me in an activity that I really loved. And that is another important point–give your partner praise for joining in and trying your interest or passion.

So think about each others passions and give the interests a try. The novelty will bring you closer together. Maybe there is something you both want to do that you have never tried. That too would get the brain chemicals flowing in a positive direction.

Want to keep love alive? Do something new together and explore your interests!

 

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