Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

Can You Be Addicted to Oreos?

posted by Linda Mintle

Oreos have been around since I was a child. Like me, do you split the cookie and eat the center first?

Harmless right? Maybe not!

What if you gave a mouse a cookie? Could that cookie be addictive?

Now, I’m not suggesting you find a 12-step program to deal with your impulse purchase of Oreos, but neuroscience is interesting when it comes to why we eat these high fat, high sugar foods. There is more to the cookie than meets the eye or taste bud for that matter.

Researchers actually studied the brain effects of eating Oreos in rats! I know, who thinks of these studies? And I love the fact that  rice cakes were used as the control group food for the rats. Rice cakes or Oreos? The rats were not stupid. They went for the cookies!

What the researchers found was that Oreos activate the same pleasure centers in the brain that cocaine and morphine do. Specifically, they looked at how many cells were turned on in a specific part of the brain when rats ate Oreos or were given drugs. More were activated by the cookies than the drugs.

While the jury is still out on whether or not foods can be addictive, this study gives support for addictive properties in high fat, high sugar foods.

So for some of you, walk past that cookie aisle and go directly to the fruit section of the store.

Will you get a high from the cookies? Last time I looked you could drive while under the influence of Oreos! But, one of the reasons we LOVE our cookies is that they activate those pleasure centers of the brain. Just how much pleasure we get may encourage us to eat more than we want to eat.

Food for thought!

Could WHY You Have Sex Affect Your Marriage?

posted by Linda Mintle

a coupleGrace was really tired and knew her husband would approach her in bed. She just wasn’t in the mood, but thought she should probably have sex and get it over with–not the best motivation to be intimate. At least, she was honest with herself. But admitting that to her husband would just raise issues, so she dutifully complied.

Did it matter what her motivation was for having sex? Wasn’t it just important to keep having sex in her marriage?

New research says, YES, motivation matters and it affects your marital satisfaction. Studies at the University of Toronto concluded that couples who want to improve their intimacy, feel closer, or have what is called an APPROACH motive for sex  are more satisfied long-term than couples who have sex to AVOID issues like not feeling guilty, not having conflict over sex, etc.

Motive matters!

Survey data from couples found that when the motive for sex is more positively oriented than negative, there was more marital satisfaction and a higher level of desire. The opposite was also true. Having sex for negative reasons like avoiding a hassle or just getting it over with resulted in more negative feelings. Apparently, it matters to your partner WHY you have sex. And the negative can build up over time.

So how can you motive yourself positively? Think about what you want in the relationship–more intimacy, closeness, desire and then let that motivate your approach. Work on enjoying each other and making the experience positive. Since you now know that your motivation affects your relationship, positivity goes a long way towards feeling more satisfied with your partner and increasing desire.

Are You Emotionally Intelligent? Take the quiz!

posted by Linda Mintle

couple in loveRelationships are such an important part of our lives. How do you measure up in your partner relationship? Check your emotional intelligence here:

Answer YES OR NO to each question.

1) When your partner does something that bothers you, do you think, “There must be a good reason for this. I am sure we can work it out?”

2) Are you free to express your dreams, values and viewpoints?

3) Do you manage your emotions during conflict and try to understand what is happening?

4) When distressed, are you able to talk about your fears and worries?

5) Can you calm yourself down when you feel defensive and believe your partner may feel attacked too?

6) When an argument is repeated, do you think about what the bigger issue may be?

7) No matter how distressed or conflicted, do you maintain connection with your partner?

8) Do you regularly tell your partner how much he or she is appreciated?

9) Do you show on-going interest in what your partner says?

10) Do  you both have common goals, dreams and hopes?

 

 

 

If you answered YES to most of these questions, congratulations! You are doing great at making your relationship work!

The Jazz Attack: A Glimpse of Heaven

posted by Linda Mintle

This morning, I am on my way to the beautiful Mackinac Island to speak at a women’s conference all week. The air is brisk with smells of Fall. The leaves are turning stunning colors and the heat of summer seems far away. It’s all so breathtaking and such a reminder of God’s creativity. I smile, remembering an evening that gave me another, very different glimpse of God’s creation.

Friends of mine invited my husband and I for a weekend in Annapolis to see Peter White, Gerald Albright and Rick Braun play live. What an amazing evening of jazz that turned out to be. The musicians were fabulous, the heat above 100, and the air conditioning in the place struggled to keep us all from profusely sweating. But no one cared. We were so taken by the music, the conditions didn’t matter. People were mesmerized by the level of talent displayed on the stage. Despite the intense heat, everyone smiled, sang with abandoned and even danced the final number. The evening was appropriately billed as, The Jazz Attack.”

As I sat there and observed the multicultural group that assembled to enjoy these master musicians, I wondered, “Is this a taste of heaven?” If there is a jazz section of worship in heaven, I’d like to put in my reservation now. Something about jazz music makes people smile and relax. For a few hours, we all forgot about the stress of life and immersed ourselves in the music.

In moments like these, we get a glimpse of the incredible talent given by God. And one day, when all that talent is directed in worship towards the One who created it, what a party that will be. The  joy will be like no other joy.  We will simply do what the Westminster Confession reminds us to do, “Glorify God and enjoy Him forever.” In the meantime, look for those moments when the beauty of God’s creation is so evident, you sit in amazement. It’s a taste of what is to come.

 

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