Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

Taking Charge of Anxious Thoughts

posted by Linda Mintle

Letting Go of WorryAbout 29% of Americans will experience an anxiety disorder in their lifetimes. Anxiety is that uneasy feeling, apprehension, feeling of danger, doom or misfortune. It can be debilitating or mild. Anxiety can spawn fear, worry, and stress.

Negative self-talk is behind many anxious feelings. Your thoughts impact your feelings. Your feelings affect your view of the world, and an anxious, negative view affects your thoughts. This vicious cycle keeps anxiety going.


In order to stop anxiety,  take charge of those anxious thoughts.The work is to replace negative self-talk with positive talk. For example, most anxious people think, “What if…

”Change the “What if…” to “So what,” and you’ll reduce anxiety.

When anxious thoughts come into your mind, identify them, and tolerate the momentary feeling. Then correct the thought with something more reasonable like, “Yes, I am afraid but God is with me, and will get me through this. I can take it.” As you correct the thought to something more reasonable and tolerate the feeling, anxiety will most likely decrease.

The key here is to tolerate the anxiety and push through it, not try to avoid or run from it.

So when you feel anxious,  look at your thoughts,- you can change your thinking. Whether your fear is real or imagined, the way you talk to yourself will determine if you work through it or become paralyzed by it. For example,”Yes, I am anxious, this feels bad…” coupled with “But I can take it and work though it” is the way to approach anxiety. Acknowledge that anxiety is present, that it doesn’t feel good but that you can move through it by taking charge of your thoughts, e.g., “This won’t destroy me, God is with me, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, He will walk me through this, etc.”


The confidence that God will walk you through even the most difficult circumstances is the basis for keeping anxious thoughts at bay.


For more help with anxious thoughts, get a copy of Letting Go of Worry by Dr. Linda Mintle



Parent Help With Overweight Kids

posted by Linda Mintle

ID-100161678Having an overweight child doesn’t mean he or she will stay that way. That being said, we don’t want our kids to go on diets. We want them to stop gaining weight and grow into the weight they already have.

And while the climbing obesity rates have to do with your child, family, and outside environmental forces, you can become part of the solution.

When you raise a child who is overweight, it’s easy to feel like a bad parent or feel guilty for letting this happen. That kind of guilt isn’t productive. So instead of blaming yourselves, let’s focus our efforts to become informed and then decide what kind of life we want for our children and our families.


As a parent, you can establish an environment that encourages success. There are changes you can make that will make a difference. It’s never too late to instill good eating habits in your children.

In addition, the connection between body, mind, and spirit cannot be ignored. Our faith can empower us to move forward, to be transformed.  As parents we shape our children’s perspective for what they believe and how they esteem themselves and others—we are their earthly foundation.

There’s an old saying, Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. As adults, we know this isn’t true—words pack a powerful punch. Our primary job is to help our children feel loved, accepted, and confident in life. With this nurturing, a healthy body image develops in our children and they learn to find enjoyment and love through channels other than food. Please don’t underestimate the power of your influence. Parents are the biggest motivators—both through their talk and their walk. Talk needs to be backed up by action in our own lives.

Our children are the greatest legacy we have. Their health and well-being are part of the chain that connects us. That being said, the battle of the bulge can be waged successfully as our children grow in confidence and look forward to long, healthy lives. Are you with me?


I Spend, She Saves: 6 Tips on What To Do About Money

posted by Linda Mintle

ID-100178597It’s a common scenario, one person in a couple is a spender, the other wants to save. Fighting over money puts strain on even the best relationship. So how do you work through what seems like a major difference in approaching life?

The key is to understand what is behind the money conflict. Begin, by talking about what your experiences were with money growing up. When couples begin to share on this level, understanding is greatly increase. For example, if one person grew up scrimping for even the basics, spending money on anything that seem superfluous can create problems. If you had parents who planned, paid only cash for things and did not create debt, you will have a tendency to bring these ideas into your relationship. The point is you need to spend time talking about the type of philosophy you were raised with, and what your experiences mean to you when it comes to shaping your ideas about money. I have found that most couples skip this step and simply react to each other.


First, listen to each other and address whatever fears are involved. This is  where most of the emotion over money is found. You need to understand each other and your life experiences when it comes to handling money.

Next set a few long term goals. For example, we want to pay off our credit cards in the next year, save 5% of our income and begin to fund  a retirement account.

Prioritize. Where will you begin? What is the most important change to make to ease tension and get both of you feeling better about your differences?

Once you agree on where you are going and what the priorities are, then set specific short term solutions on how to get there, e.g., we will apply $20 a week to three credit cards, or we will put $100 a month into a IRA, etc.


It helps to establish a budget. It takes much of the emotion out of play and gives structure for impulsive spending and overly rigid people.

Finally, decide who is primarily responsible to pay bills and provide accountability. It is better to do this ahead so that when you have to hold the other person accountable, you can say, ‘Remember, we agreed I will do this.”





When Healing Doesn’t Seem to Come

posted by Linda Mintle

ID-10021187I’m often asked on the radio if I believe that God heals. Yes, I do. I’ve seen God heal in my own life and the lives of my clients. Let’s keep in mind that God heals in many ways. Sometimes it is a supernatural touch, other times he uses doctors and therapists to facilitate healing in someone’s life. Sometimes, healing doesn’t appear to be happening at all despite our prayers. The danger is putting God in a box and insisting He only heals one way.


God can heal and transform in ways unknown to our limited understanding. While we use all the training and knowledge extracted from research and clinical practice, we recognize the supernatural realm as greater than our comprehension. We don’t always know what God is up to and whose life is being impacted.

There is hope for even the most desperate case because of Christ. Because of the abiding presence of God, the hope and future promised in Him, promised freedom from bondage and enslavement, and the radical message that, in Christ, past is not prologue to future, we can be transformed and set free.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have past away; behold all things have become new.” 2 Cor. 5:17. 21 is a powerful verse about how Christ changes us when we become one of His.


His transforming power lives in us and works on our behalf. The problem is, as Job discovered, we don’t always have the big picture and understand God’s ways. Scripture tells us His ways are higher than ours. So trust, then, becomes the issues.

When healing doesn’t look the way we think it should, we need to trust. Trust that God has not forgotten us, that His plan for us is good, and that He has us in the palm of His hand and sees the bigger picture. Trust that He is working in the situation in ways we might not see and never understand. Our part is to stay faithful through it all and allow God to do what only He can do.


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