Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

What To Do With Worried Thoughts

posted by Linda Mintle

I’ve been doing a number of radio shows because of my new book, Letting Go of Worry. The question continues to be asked, “What do you do with worried thoughts?”

First, let me tell you what doesn’t work-trying to suppress a worried thought! If you keep telling yourself to stop worrying, you will probably worry more. Trying to suppress or push down a worried thought results in more worry.

So, first identify the worried thought. Let it come. It is what you do with it that matters.

Then, take it captive. This means do not allow it to wander in worried waters. Confine it.

Replace that thought with God’s truth–He promises provision, help in time of trouble, His presence, etc. To do this, you must renew your mind with the character of God and His promises. I list several versus in the back of the book to help with this.

The point is that worried thoughts can be captured and redirected.

For more help letting go of worry, click on the book cover on the right.

10 Ways to Help Your Young Adult Resist Premartial Sex

posted by Linda Mintle

A recent Gallup poll reported:

  • 80 percent of young unmarried Christians have had sex outside of marriage.
  • Two-thirds of unmarried Christians have been sexual active in the last year.
  • 42 percent of the 18-29 year olds in the 80 percent group are currently in sexual relationships.

Yet, despite these statistics, 76 percent of Christians still believe sex outside of marriage is wrong. Apparently, there is a wide disconnect between what we believe and what we actually do. Why is this and how can we help young adults live what they believe?

1) Have on-going discussions with your young adult about the pressures to conform, availability of pornography, and how they are coping with living in a culture saturated with sex.

2) As you watch media together, comment on how the attitudes in media conflict with a biblical worldview.

3) Go to church. Attending church one day a week (which is what most people do) hardly competes with the daily onslaught of sexual messages, but it does provide a weekly centering and reminder.

4) Continue to read your Bible and encourage your young adult to be in the Word.  This is one way to renew the mind.

5) Pray together whenever possible and let them know you understand how difficult the struggle is and the importance of putting on the armor of God daily (Ephesians 6:10-18).

6) Use news items and stories from friends to remind them about sexually transmitted diseases, the emotional fall out of sex outside of marriage, and the spiritual issues involved. Our culture is all about the physical, but people live with the emotional and spiritual impact of sexually acting out. Talking about someone’s experience in terms of the whole person is helpful.

7) Value marriage. Work through your own marital issues and show young adults that marriage is worth fighting for and needs to be valued.

8) Talk about the cohabitation data. Cohabitation leads to an increased chance of divorce.

9) Encourage your young adult to find friends who want to be accountable and will try to live what they believe.

10) When it comes to sex, resisting temptation is best done by not putting oneself in a position of temptation. Identify the triggers that can leave your young adult vulnerable.

 

5 Tips to Beat Mom Stress

posted by Linda Mintle

Do you have mom stress? Then, stop what you are doing and look at this checklist.

You can only go on empty so long. So….

1) Take one hour a day for yourself. I know this sounds impossible but take it. Pass off the kids to your spouse. Lock your door for 15 minutes. Sit in your closet and just think. Rest while the baby naps. Do something.

Tell yourself, I don’t have to live in a perfect house. OK – so your mother starched the kids’ shoelaces—who says you have to do the same? Learn to live with imperfection knowing that the day of clean houses will return in later years.

2) Say NO. You don’t have to be superwoman and do everything you are asked to do. Tell the room mother you can’t bake those dozen cupcakes this week. Don’t apologize for setting limits.

3) Calm down. A sure sign of stress is you yelling at everyone. If you are anxious, wound up and irritable, it’s time to take a walk. Get out of the house for a minute or get a sitter for an hour.

4) Focus on the positives. If all you can think about is the day your kids leave home, something needs to change. Maybe you have too much going on. You may need to re-think your priorities and scale down your activities. Refocus on what is going right today. Find something to praise.

5) Unleash the woman inside. Don’t forget that under every mom is a woman in hiding. Find her and let her out once in awhile. Mom is one part of your identity. Don’t lose the other parts of yourself.

The New Normal: Slurring People On-Line

posted by Linda Mintle

According to an August 2011 MTV poll, young people seem to have no problem using racist and sexist language on-line. Name-calling that would make parents cringe seems to be acceptable to teens and twenty-somethings when it takes place while texting and when using social media. And the disturbing  part is that the use of this language doesn’t bother them or offend. Why? According to the survey, it sounds cool and is funny to offend!

Even though half of young people think this type of language is wrong, more than half say it is OK to use with friends and people in their own circles. The reasoning is along the line that their friends understand that they don’t really mean it.

But what if the language goes beyond the circle of friends? No one seems particularly worried that the talk will reach a larger audience. Well good luck with that kids!

Not everyone thinks racist and sexist language is OK.  A significant minority of 14-24-year-olds say it is offensive, derogatory and demeaning. However, the majority says, let the slurs fly. The one exception–African Americans youths (60%) said they would be offended seeing the N word used against someone.

And guess who gets picked on the most. Overweight people.

So what is going on? Where do they get the idea that calling a friend a “slut” is funny? I would guess media. It’s all over TV. The bleep sound is constantly going off when you click through cable channels and I often hear the young people laughing at this. Is it some rite of passage to be able to call people names without having to do so in person? Honestly, this is one I totally do not understand.

I guess I am showing my age because I fail to see what is funny about being mean to someone!

Words hurt and you can’t predetermine who the sensitive one will be or who can let a slur roll off of his or her back. And when does “fun” become cyberbullying?

Using a racial or sexist slur has the potential to hurt people. For that reason alone, people should stop. But to make this a past trend, it has to become uncool. And that involves changing media as well as people’s mouths! To do that, requires a change in heart.

 

 

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