Beliefnet
Doing Life Together

I watched a few moments of Beyonce at the inauguration. She was beautiful, talented and carried herself well.

Yesterday, she was the topic of controversy. Did she sing the national anthem live? Apparently not, despite the dramatic ripping out of the ear piece half-way.

So why the big deal, the stories about “Bey Gate?” After all, others have prerecorded their tracks and not performed live. Well, the outrage was because she didn’t address the issue when asked and looked like she was duping the public, or as one fan put it “doping” the public. People are just tired of the false pretense. All she had to do was say, “I made a last minute decision to lip sync due to the enormity of the event.” That would have been forthcoming.

And this is a woman the President continues to tell us is a  role model for teenage girls.

It’s no secret that our president and his family are friends with Jay Z and Beyonce (he calls her Bey). That’s fine.

But when Mr. Obama said at their fundraiser, “To J and B, thank you so much for your friendship. Beyonce could not be a better role model for my girls,” I wanted to yell NOT REALLY  and was hoping the feminists might chime in.

Private and performing Beyonce seem to be compartmentalized. Beyonce married first before having a baby–love that! She seems sweet in interviews and to be a likable person. So what we hear about her private life may be a role model for kids.

But you can’t ignore the public part of her image. That is mostly what we see.

The “Bootylicious” star is all about confusing young girls. While belting out the lyrics in Girl,  she proclaims, Girl we run this mother… (she’s talking about the world, using a few choice words along the way). This anthem of girl power is presented by a skimpily clad Beyonce whose dance moves would arouse any male and make him forget what she is singing about. She puts on the costume and becomes a sex siren. This has become standard fare in entertaining. You have to become a sexual object to sell yourself. I thought we were trying to move beyond this in the feminist movement.

How about a female role model who doesn’t have to take off her clothes and become a sexual object? Her talent would speak for itself. And Beyonce has the talent.

And then there are the lyrics from Jay-Z’s songs. I randomly picked one he did with Big Sean and Kanye West that i could print. Here are a few lines:

Translation, I’m the s* at least that what my neck say
Least that what my check say, lost my homie for a decade
Nigga down for like 12 years, ain’t hug his son since the second grade
He never told, who we gonna tell, we top of the totem pole
It’s the dream team, meets the Supreme Team
And all our eyes green it only means one thing
You ain’t f* with my clique.

So I’d like to invite the President to sit down with his two teenage daughters and maybe mine. Then let’s go to Lyrics.com and read several of Jay-Z’s song lyrics. Let the words just soak in and talk about the messages to young men.

Then let’s watch several of Beyonce’s videos with our daughters and follow with a discussion about the portrayal of women. What’s the message to young women? Strong and independent women have to sex it up?

Look, when people dress up for fancy affairs and look fabulous, we need to be careful to stay in reality. Peddling sexual objectivity for women; aggression, vulgarity and violence for men, does not make this couple a role models for teen age kids. In fact, they continue to perpetuate the idea that women must sell their talent with sex, and men should respond to life issues with violence, disrespect and entitlement.

Mr. President. Think before you speak. Look at those precious daughters. Would you want them rapping those lyrics or becoming a sex object for millions of men?

While these two might be popular entertainers with talent, I think we can find better role models for teens. The President’s words have impact. Choose role models whose life work involves virtue, not making women into sex sirens and using vulgarity to make money and entertain. We have been so inundated with this type of entertainment, maybe we have become desensitized to it.

 

P.S. If you decide to comment, please don’t make this a political issue. I am talking about who we chose to model our lives after and role models for our kids. You can certainly welcomed to disagree but please be respectful.

My daughter is two and half and is beginning to stutter. Up until now, she has been a good talker. But when she gets excited, we’ve noticed she stutters, like her brain can’t catch up to her mouth. We are not sure how to handle this and wonder if we should seek help.

It is common for kids to stutter between the ages of two and three. The key is to determine whether your daughter has what is called, “transient dysfluency of childhood” which typically goes away, or to determine if she is a true stutterer. The majority of kids who begin to stutter will stop because they are not true stutterers. When they get excited, they can be tired, angry, or upset and can’t quite get the words out right away. They do more fumbling over words rather than having an actual problem getting the words out. This is due to the rapid development a child experiences in her verbal abilities at this age. And as you put it, her brain doesn’t keep up with the pace of her talking.

Stuttering tends to run in families and affects more boys than girls. Current thinking is that it is a speech disorder that has genetic susceptibility and environmental triggers. It is not a physical or psychological disorder, but considered a developmental disorder. However, if your child is a stutterer, the earlier you treat, the better. So talk to your pediatrician and engage a speech therapist. A speech therapist can be very helpful in term of treating your child and helping you respond in a relaxed and supportive way.

Pay attention to whether or not the stuttering bothers or upsets your daughter. Also notice if the stuttering occurs in situations other than when she is excited or anxious. Does her pitch change and is she struggling to get words out? Are her repetitions long and frequent? Does she block words and sounds? Does she avoid saying difficult words? These are just a few observations to make. The Stuttering Foundation of America has materials that can help you determine if you need help or you can consult a speech-language pathologist for an evaluation. To find a speech-language pathologist, call your school and ask for help. Public schools provide free speech therapy to children as young as three years of age.

 

Resource:

Stuttering Foundation of America

P.O. Box 11749
Memphis, TN 38111-0749

800.992.9392

 

The story of Notre Dame’s football player, Manti Te’o, is just bizarre. It’s like trying to figure out who dunnit in CLUE.

If you haven’t heard, the short story is that Manti Te’o’s girlfriend  was in a car accident and then died of leukemia within24 hours of his grandmother’s death last September. This girlfriend relationship was publicized all fall and gained sympathy from fans of Te’o. The storyline was classic–personal loss inspires triumph on the playing field.

But now we learn that there was never an accident, a death (the grandmother did die) or even a real girlfriend. In Te’o’s recent press conference, he claimed to have been the victim of an elaborate hoax. He says he had an on-line relationship with a woman for three years and was not aware that this person didn’t really exist.

It’s all still a mystery.

Who would go to such lengths to create this crazy story and why?

Who gets their kicks out of making up tragedy and using the Internet as an enabler?

A hoax can spread quickly now that we are all connected. People who create hoaxes get traffic and attention. They want to see how far they can go to fool people. Fooling people makes a hoaxster feel successful. It’s social power. Deception. Lies.

A hoax can be an act of revenge, a misguided attempt at information, a branding strategy, a prank, a dare or even a sick way of creating drama.

But in the long run, hoaxes are damaging. No ones like to be deceived. Hoaxes create a sense of distrust and diminish real life tragedy. They make us cynical and wondering who can we trust. And with all the recent admissions of lies, do we really need to perpetuate more untruth?

So whoever did this hoax and  perpetuated it needs real life mental health help.

There is enough tragedy and disappointment in our world without people making up more.

 

 

 

 

 

Sportscaster, Brean Musburger, apologized for his comments about a football player’s girlfriend. During the Alabama/Notre Dame BCS National Championship Game, the camera found Miss Alabama, Katherine Webb, the girlfriend of the Alabama quarterback.

Upon seeing her on camera, Musburger commented,  ” Wow, you quarterbacks get all the good looking women, what a beautiful woman, whoa! If you’re a youngster in Alabama, start getting the football out and throw it around the backyard with pops.”

So my question to you is this: Is this inappropriate to comment on the beauty of a woman? 

Could we do a little survey here? YES or NO and give me a brief reason why you think this was OK or out of line. 

I find this so weird as football promotes barely clad women to “cheer” for their teams and then makes a big deal about Musburger’s comment. Seems a little hypocritical to me. Maybe we should have the Dallas Cowboy organization apologize for objectifying their cheerleaders and putting them on calendars.

Personally, I find this to be the height of political correctness. The woman won a beauty contest! Yes, she is beautiful and that doesn’t mean pointing it out makes you someone who objectifies women.

I had more of an issue with his comment about young boys throwing footballs to get girls. That seems a bit shallow.

Just my opinions, love to hear yours.

 

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