Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

Can You Pass the Anger Quiz?

posted by Linda Mintle

Anger is a misunderstood emotion. Take the 10 question anger quiz to see how well you understand anger:

T     F    1.  As long as I don’t look or sound angry, I am not angry.

T     F     2. If I ignore anger long enough, it will go away.

T     F     3. If I punch or throw something, my anger will decrease.

T     F     4. Anger is shameful and not nice.

T    F     5. It’s OK to keep the peace at any price. That is what God wants.

T    F     6. If I express anger, my relationships will be in danger.

T    F     7. Women don’t get angry, just frustrated.

T    F     8. Christian should not get angry.

T    F     9. God knows that sometimes I just can’t control my anger.

T    F    10. As long as I didn’t mean to get so angry, it is not a problem.

 

 

The correct answer to all the questions is FALSE and here is why:

1. Anger is something you carry inside of you. Not showing it doesn’t mean you don’t have it.People can carry unresolved anger for years and it shows up in other ways like physical issues, irritability, etc.

2. Anger is an emotion to work on and contain. It doesn’t magically go away. You can be angry but the Bible says not to sin.

3. These actions actually increase anger.

4. Anger is a God given emotion that Jesus experienced. It is how we handle anger that matters.

5. God wants us to go to one another and work through our difficulties in love and in gentleness.

6. Relationships are often in danger because of unexpressed anger. When anger is internalized, it can lead to eating disorders, anxiety and depression. The WAY you express anger needs to follow biblical guidelines.

7. Ever heard the saying, “A woman scorned…?”

8. This is nonsense. Simply look at the biblical examples of people who expressed anger.

9. God gives you what you need to control your anger–the Holy Spirit operates in you and gives you the power to overcome. No excuses.

10. Intention does not excuse hurting people. If your anger is out of control and you didn’t mean it, get it under control and ask for forgiveness. Repent but change.

For more help with Anger, Click on the right More Books From Dr. Linda–Breaking Free from Anger and Unforgiveness.

5 Reasons We Hang on to Worry

posted by Linda Mintle

Last night I caught myself beginning to worry about something in the near future. I had to stop and do what I know to do. Worry is a mental habit that needs to broken. My new book, Letting Go of Worry, offers practical steps to stop this bad habit.

But why do we worry when we know this is not part of God’s plan? The answer is the same for any dysfunctional behavior that we hang on to and do not release. It serves a purpose or we wouldn’t do it.

Here are a five reasons why we hold on to worry even though none of these reasons are really true. We falsely believe worry…

1) Stops bad things from happening—Worry has no impact on what happens in our lives. It doesn’t stop anything.

2) Prepares us for the worst outcomes-85% of the time what we worry about doesn’t come true so this is a lot of wasted energy.

3) Allows us to control external events- This isn’t possible. We can’t worry things into happening.

4) Is a way to show we care-Find another way that isn’t anti biblical teaching!

5) Feels like we are doing something -All we are doing is creating stress on our physical body and engaging in a behavior Jesus told us not to do.

Worry does none of these five things. Rather, worry takes a toll on our physical, emotional, relational and spiritual lives. Worry strangles (the literal meaning of the word) the joy out of life. Worry also interferes with our spiritual lives because it is based on doubting God. In order to worry, we have to give up trust and wonder if God is who He says He is. When trouble comes and we don’t understand, the temptation is to ascribe to God some negative motive like, He doesn’t care, He isn’t with me, or He caused the bad thing to happen.

So the first step of letting go worry is to give up the idea that worry is useful. When we truly believe that worry has no place in our lives, this is the beginning of freedom.

 

You may also like,

What to Do With Worried Thoughts

 

For more practical help on letting go of worry, click on the book cover at the right.

This is a mental habit that can be broken. Join me and countless others who have decided to let go of worry and walk in God’s peace and contentment. Let me know how you are doing!

 

 

 

 

Do You Know the Difference Between Physical Hunger and Emotional Craving?

posted by Linda Mintle

I ate way too many chocolate covered peanuts last night. I wasn’t physically hungry. I was in front of the TV and the peanuts were by my side. So I ate them. I know better. I wrote a book entitled, Press Pause Before You Eat– a book about mindless eating.

A starting point to break the habit of emotional or mindless eating is knowing the difference between physical hunger and emotional cravings. Do you know how to tell the difference?

Physical hunger                                                                Emotional Craving

Builds gradually                                                                         Hits suddenly, “I just want something.”

Stomach rumbles and grumbles                                             Anxious but no physical symptoms

Feel full and stop eating                                                            Eat when full

Any food will satisfy                                                                    Want a specific food or type (salty, sweet)

Physically feel empty                                                                  Mouth and mind are tasting the food

Eat and feel better                                                                        Eat and feel guilty

Choose foods purposely                                                                Eat whatever is there

Once you know the difference, you must press pause and ask, “Do I really want this food or am I eating it because it is there?” The pause may be enough to stop mindless eating.

 

For more help with mindless eating tips, check out Dr. Linda Mintle’s book PRESS PAUSE BEFORE YOU EAT. Click on More Books by Dr. Linda Mintle on the right.

 

When Author Ann Rice Quit Christianity Did She Have a Point?

posted by Linda Mintle

Last summer, when author Ann Rice made the bold statement, “I quit Christianity,” I was saddened but did she have a point?

Gandhi once said, “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

Best selling author of the dark side and former atheist, Ann Rice agreed.  She converted to Christianity 12 years prior but became fed up with Christians. Her main beef was that Christians are most known for what they are against, not their love. “It’s simply impossible for me to ‘belong’ to this quarrelsome, hostile, disputatious, and deservedly infamous group. For 10 years, I’ve tried. I’ve failed. I’m an outsider. My conscience will allow nothing else.”

Christ said we would be known by our love. But are we?

When I read the report in The Guardian, it was clear that Ann Rice did not given up on Christ, but didn’t like the way His followers represent Him. Thus, she didn’t want to identity with Christians. I understand her point, but we must also consider the whole counsel of God. Christ put us in a body He called the church, in order to sharpen, to mold and constantly test our hearts and character. Like living in a family, we practice our Christianity in that group. And I for one, do not always get it right.

It would be easy to be a Christian alone on an island.

But we live in community and don’t  give up on the church. Just because we fall short, we don’t throw in the towel. Dealing with Christians furthers our dependence on Him.

Every group has people who don’t represent it well. Christianity is no exception. Television evangelists have said plenty that made me cringe. But we don’t give  up on the group because a few unbalanced people say ridiculous things.

The issue at hand is how we deal with sin in our lives and culture. The way we deal with it matters. Christians who take stands on  biblical issues don’t always do it in love. Then they are accused of being intolerant. Intolerance is often code for no standards. Let everyone do what he or she wants and don’t judge–the mantra of this generation.

But we must identify sin and help each other live more like Christ. Yes, people can be haters and overly  judgmental, even zealous over biblical principals that violate morality. Some are off in their theology and understanding of the true character of God. God judges sin but is also a God of love.

So rather than judge and disdain Christians (the very thing that Ann didn’t like about Christians), let’s lovingly correct and bring each other to a better understanding of what Jesus’ meant when He told us to love our neighbor. That’s what we do here-doing life together–have a dialogue regarding things that impact us everyday as we live for Christ. Let’s do it in love, but that doesn’t mean we never take a stand.

Being a Christian means you hold biblical standards. Those standards are under attack today. People confuse standards for judgment. We are to judge behavior according to biblical standards. The bible is full of how to live your life when you are a Christ follower. And Christians aren’t perfect. Daily I need his grace.

My message to Ann Rice then is this. Rather than abandon the church, why not help Christians follow Christ in a way that is kind and loving. Use your incredible power of the pen to craft the words in ways that build up the body, not tear down. Many well-meaning Christians struggle with knowing how to take a stand for Truth (which we believe exists) without constantly being accused of being judgmental. There is a fine line, one we need to walk in love.

So  I’m glad Ann didn’t quit Christ. But I’m not going to quit the church. Christ thought enough to die for His bride. I’d rather be a part of the church that loves and takes a stand when necessary. And remember, like any family, we have dysfunctional members!

 

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