It’s June. Wedding month!
OK this is crazy. The average cost of a wedding today is around $26,000 to $28,400 according to a recent article in USA TODAY. And it appears that the bride and groom are picking up more of the costs. But is this cost worth it?
In my opinion, NO!
Why begin a marriage accruing such debt? Or why use money for a wedding that could go a long way on a downpayment of a house, a car or something you need to go about life?
Just because we can, doesn’t mean we should!
So here are a few tips, tried and true from my own wedding experience to keep the costs down.
1) Keep your guest list reasonable. Have your closest friends and don’t invite everyone possible.
2) Consider another day. Friends of mine are getting married on a Sunday. Another picked a Friday night. Venues are cheaper when you avoid the popular days and times.
3) If you know you are getting married, shop all year and shop at thrift stores. My daughter-in-law to be found lots of items at pawn shops, thrift shops or on Craig’s list. Think about it. What do people do with left over wedding items–Craig’s list!
4) Do it yourself–as much as possible. We saved money by tearing down our own venues, borrowing items from friends, making decorations,etc.
5) You may like the show, Say Yes to the Dress, but it should be titled, Say Yes to Expense! You can find bargain wedding gowns with a little digging. I saw a stunning gown the other day at a JCrew Factory clearance outlet. I bought my own gown for pennies because it had a small thread pull in the train. No one could see it but the price dropped ridiculously low.
6) Raid your friends gardens for flowers or go seasonal. Right now, a friend of mine has peonies blooming like wild fire. These would be stunning on tables at a wedding reception. Consider?
7) Offer to help your friends and they will help you. So much can be done when friends pitch in to help. I’ve help others and now they are helping me. It’s a win-win!
8) Bake your own desserts. Ahead of time, you can bake the goodies, freeze and use them. A friend of mine did this and saved tremendously on the cost of desserts. Or maybe a friend would do this as a wedding gift!
9) Bargain and negotiate. I was surprised at how much discount I could get when I negotiated rather than just accept the price offered.
10) Use on-line printers for invitations and print materials. In my experience, you can find great bargains this way.
Bottom, line, you can cut the costs tremendously and start your married life with a little more cash in the pocket.
Sounds crazy, but the DSM V (The Bible of mental disorders) qualifies caffeine intoxication as a mental disorder.
Do a quick check: Are you…
___Having gastrointestinal upset
___Experiencing irregular heart rate
All signs of caffeine intoxication. And if these symptoms cause you distress and impact your daily functioning, get the number of a therapist.
Time to detox and be ready for the headache, fatigue, concentration problems and irritability that may follow.
Caffeine intoxication can happen with about 2.5 cups of coffee (above 250mg).
You may be thinking, really, this is ridiculous, but when you consider that caffeine is inserted in many of our foods, this is a real issue. And to me, this is the story.
It’s one think for me to drink 2 cups of coffee and know I better watch my intake, but another to be completely unaware of the foods that contain caffeine.
Caffeine can be found in all kinds of foods like potato chips, sunflower seeds, beef jerky, gummy bears, marshmallows, and gum. So check labels, especially if you have children. Too much caffeine is not good for anyone and may even land you in a therapist office.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM), version 5, is finally out after years of debate and posturing. This book is considered the “Bible” of psychiatry. It is the one used by all clinicians and doctors to give diagnoses so insurance companies will pay for mental health benefits and so treatment can be directed. It is part science and part art and that can be a problem. For example, in 1968, the DSM voted out Narcissistic Personality Disorder, then in 1980, it was voted back in–not something you see with disease. For example, does bronchitis get voted in and out of disease?
The 947 page manual contains revisions that have been controversial. So much so that The National Institute of Mental Health has turned its back on the DSMV and is working on its own diagnostic system for 2020, claiming to bring more precision to biological markers of mental illness. But DSM V has already attempted that and found it to be more challenging than anticipated. Still, NIMH feels the DSM-V lacks validity and won’t use it in its funded studies.
Even though psychiatry is moving to a more neurobiological model, there is still so much we don’t know. And while we know psychotherapy is effective in so many cases, psychotherapy would be marginalized in a more neurobiological model. Already, it is tough getting reimbursement for helpful therapies like marital and family.
Part of the controversy includes dropping Asperger’s syndrome and child disintegrative disorder. They are included under the blanket autism diagnosis.
Bereavement will now be excluded, making it difficult to distinguish between “normal” grief and depression.
Binge Eating Disorder becomes a full fledge diagnosis that most of us would probably qualify for at some point!
And on it goes…
The reason this manual is so important is because it affects who gets treatment.
What most therapists do is find a diagnosis that seems to fit so people can use the code to pay for their treatment. Then a therapist goes about the business of working with people to solve problems and help them live better. Most therapists will reluctantly embrace the DSMV because of its necessity to service provision. But that doesn’t mean we are excited about the changes.