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Doing Life Together

According to marriage researcher, Paul Amato, 60% of divorces in the U.S. are from low conflict couples. This means these divorces were not characterized by abuse, addiction, repeated infidelity, or even high conflict. The marriages just fizzled. Couples stopped paying attention to each other and lost the fun and excitement of relationship. It’s the old,…

Millions of people feel depressed when they hear the words to that popular Christmas song: “It’s the most wonderful time of the year”.  For many, the holidays are times of loss and loneliness. If you are lonely, it’s important to first identify the reason for your loneliness. Is it due to the death of a…

Whose idea was it to invent the Christmas cookie and give us days of eating temptation? Actually, the tradition of the Christmas cookie can be traced to Medieval European recipes.  During the 1500s, the Christmas cookie was popular all over Europe. Then the Dutch and Germans brought it to the shores of America in the…

 Jackie and Mike felt like they were constantly battling over small things. Like them, most of us need a little help when it comes to dealing with conflict in our relationships. Here are 10 things NOT to do. They only worsen the situation. 1) Make assumptions about the person or situation. Assume, do not ask,…

Thankfully, Time Magazine chose Pope Francis as their Man of the Year, not Miley Cyrus! When I heard the announcement, it gave me a moment of hope. He is deserving of that award. But in one way, he was a surprising choice. Headlines are made by the sensationalists. And even though I’m growing weary of…

Reader Question: Both my husband and I love visiting family during the holidays. Each year we are invited to both families but they live in separate states about a three-hour drive from our home. Our relationship with both families is good and we don’t want to let either one down by not coming. How do…

It’s not uncommon for couples to come to therapy and a therapist to ask, “On a scale from 1 to 10, how would you rate your marriage?” Even couples who don’t come to therapy will occasionally think about this. What is interesting is whether or not the couple agrees on the rating. When one spouse…

Bob and Rose are a blended family now. They are asking for ways to make the holidays better in terms of that blending. Here are 10 tips: Examine your expectations and  let go of any  “Brady Bunch” fantasies. Most disappointments come from unrealistic expectations. Continue “old” holiday traditions with your biological kids while creating new…

We will be traveling to our relatives in another state for several family gatherings during Christmas. Two of my siblings are problem drinkers and I am not sure how to handle this with my family. We do not drink so my children are not used to seeing family members act up while under the influence.…

Even though I love the holidays, I also dread them because of the stress involved. I feel on-edge, my children are out of sorts and my husband and I seem to fight about family and activities to attend. I don’t want to feel like Scrooge this holiday season. Are there ways to minimize the stress…
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