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Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

Blow to the Head? What Happens to the Brain?

posted by Linda Mintle

With all the football players leaving the field  for concussions and nasty hits during the playoffs, we need to be thinking about traumatic brain injury (TBI). What really happens when someone suffers a blow either by accident, in a sport or in the military?

Dr. James Kelly, Professor of Neurosurgery and Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation at the University of Colorado Denver School of Medicine specializes in all aspects of traumatic brain injury research and clinical care. Watch this 7 minute You Tube to understand more about what happens when you hit your head or get hit on the head.

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Dr. Kelly is easy to understand. This may impact your decision to play contact sports, help a returning family member who has suffered TBI through war experience, or know what happens when an elderly person falls and hits her head.

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For more on the impact of blows to the head, read my blog, Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be-football or hockey players, boxers…

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Cut 4 Bieber: Why Fans Are Hurting Themselves

posted by Linda Mintle

Bieber fever has spiked  a dangerous high in the past week. #Cut4Bieber began trending as a prompt for female fans to cut themselves in order to protest Bieber’s alleged smoking of pot. Beiber was caught on camera holding what looked like a joint, so an anonymous source began a campaign on a message board encouraging Bieber fans to cut in protest. According to Topsy (a trending tracker site), there were 26,000 hits in 12 hours in response to the idea. Girls were prompted to upload pictures of themselves cutting. Many did–some real and unreal images.

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The concern reached such a peak that another celebrity responded. Miley Cyrus tweeted, “CUTTING is not something to joke about. There are people who are actually suffering from self-harm, this is so disrespectful.”

And while I hardly look to Miley Cyrus for any advice on mental health, she is right. Boy Justin did not respond to the accusation directly. He did tweet, “Trying to be better.”

The “joke” represents a new low in American pop culture. Some of you may remember an earlier stunt when someone tweeted that Justin Bieber had cancer and girls should cut their hair to show support. This is really sick. Who would want to encourage teen girls to cut themselves or use a false report of cancer to garner sympathy?

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More importantly, we need to attend to the girls who would actually engage in such behavior in response to misguided pop star admiration. This is dangerous idolatry!

Self-injury is a real mental health problem that I have treated numerous times in my therapy practice.

Girls who self-harm often do so because they feel emotionally distant or invalidated by their parents. Some are rewarded for this behavior by a peer group that also engages in self-harm as a coping mechanism for stress and feelings of disconnection. Others describe feeling “dead” inside or invisible to parents, and feel alive or confirmed in their existence when they cut. For many, cutting is a way to manage overly demanding parents.

Self-mutilation is often hidden under clothing. Cutting usually takes place on the arms, thighs and legs and/or the abdomen. A sibling might notice the marks or a parent may find a razor or sharp object in the adolescent’s room. And if a teen has a habit of becoming highly distressed and locking herself in her bedroom, she may be inflicting self-harm as a form of self-punishment. This is often the case with the eating disorder girls I have treated. They would rather harm themselves than openly deal with a conflict or challenge a parent.

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Obviously, self-harm requires intervention by a mental health professional. The best treatment is family therapy with a skilled and trained family therapist. Therapy usually focuses on improving family communication, lessening expectations and demands, teaching conflict resolution, problem-solving and developing closer and more meaningful relationships with parents and siblings.

In addition to family therapy, girls who self-harm have to learn to identify the triggers that lead to cutting, learn to control their thoughts and solve problems. They need to be taught that harming themselves is not an appropriate way to feel alive or cope with emotional pain.

Spiritually, feeling connected to God, their Father and developing an intimacy with God is the best way to feel validated and alive. Understanding that God unconditionally accepts them regardless of their accomplishments, accepts their failures, promises peace in the middle of their emotional storms and is always present and willing to help can be life changing. The momentary “high” that comes from cutting can be replaced with God’s peace and transforming power. Learning to bring all burdens to the cross is key. The truth is that the blood of Jesus has already been spilled and no other blood sacrifice is required.

 

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Trigger Happy Mom or Failed Penal System?

posted by Linda Mintle

An Atlanta mom hides her kids in a crawl space and armed herself to take on an intruder. Yet, MSN reports the mom as a trigger happy woman!

So let’s understand this. A man knocks on her door. She believes it is a solicitor and tells her kids not to answer the door. The person at the door continues to bang on the door and ring the bell. The woman calls her husband. He tells her to hide the kids and then calls 911–smart man!  The intruder then breaks into her house, begins to rummage through her things. When the intruder finds the hiding space, the mom, armed to protect her kids,  opens fire to save her family. That makes her trigger happy?

And what about the intruder? He was released from jail in late August after serving 9 months for simple battery and probation violations. According to his jail records, he had six other arrests since 2008–hardly a first time offender! Maybe this is where the news focus needs to be. What happens to criminals who serve a short sentence and then are released to the streets?

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Our penal system is overcrowded and failed. Locking people up and releasing them with no rehab or real accountability is where a major problem lies. What are we doing to address the broken criminal system? Instead of politicians clamoring for gun control and more regulations, how about some real action towards fixing our ailing prison and rehab systems! Talk about broken! Yet, I’ve heard nothing on the news about this incident that raises the awareness of politicians and community groups to take a look at how we deal with criminal behavior. When nothing is done but lock people up, release them for overcrowding, or give them a pass because the system is already overburdened, crime walks into our living rooms.

It’s time to stop blaming the victim, being distracted by gun control arguments, and take a hard look at our penal system.

 

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Why I Don’t Make New Year Resolutions

posted by Linda Mintle

It’s been one full week in January and most of you who made New Year Resolutions are already feeling failed Don’t feel bad. I think the idea that once a year we decide to change our lives, is a set up for failure. That is why I don’t make New Year resolutions. Resolutions are simply good intentions. We all have them, but putting them into action requires understanding the process of change.

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In order to really make a change, you typically go through these stages:

1) Precontemplation-This is the first stage of change. You may not be ready to even tackle something you would like to change. You have not given it much thought. It’s barely on your radar.

2) Contemplation–This is where most New Year resolutions fall. You know something in your life needs to change. For example, you need to drop those 20 pounds and you are thinking about it. But you have no real action steps to make it happen.

3) Preparation–Time to stop thinking and start acting. This means you’ve got to be intentional and develop ways to make changes that are short, behavioral and attainable.

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4) Action--This is where the rubber meets the road. You have to behave in different ways. This step of change takes patience, time, energy and commitment. It requires the type of patience that says, if I fall off my change wagon, I get right back up and keep going in the direction I set forth.

5) Maintenance–This is probably the most difficult part of change. Think about this applied to weight loss. Most of us know what to do to lose weight, but keeping it off means preventing relapse and understanding WHY we do what we do. Otherwise, we revert to old behavior. We tend to do what is comfortable, not always the best for us. So if you’ve dropped a few pounds, start thinking about what it will take to keep those pounds off. Will you need to address emotional eating? WIll you need to get in the gym? Will you need to modify food portion? Etc.

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If you are not ready to really go through these stages of change, a New Year’s resolution will feel like one more failed attempt that had good intentions behind it. If you are already there, regroup, review what is involved in change and ask yourself, “Am I ready to commit to the process?”

 

If you need help making changes in your eating, check out Dr. Linda’s Press Pause Before You Eat. Click on the picture above.

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