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Doing Life Together

This was inspired by a satire on THE ONION about Eminem.

What would happen if Rapper Eminem’s 17-year-old daughter brought her boyfriend home to meet dad? Would dad, Marshall Mathers, AKA Eminem, have a wake-up call?

Let’s say the boyfriend was raised on heavy doses of Eminem’s music along with Snoop Dogg, Dr. Dre and Ludacris, all famous for their lyrics about violence and devaluing of women. Their lyrics, if printed, would make you nauseous. And let’s say the boyfriend’s favorite Eminem song is “Superman,” a song about putting anthrax on a woman’s hygiene product and then slapping her until she can’t stand. He also likes the song, “Kill You,” a brutal story of killing a woman and hiding her in a closet.

What would Eminem think about his daughter dating a man raised on his music? Would he have serious doubts about his character and wonder how the music influenced his world view? Of course, Eminem wrote the lyrics, but when someone dates your daughter who loves this music, well…Yes, lyrics about having sex with prostitutes and then painting the room red with blood are quite disturbing. Do you think this impacts the boyfriend’s views about women?

What happens when any boy grows up listening to lyrics about beating women and treating them like dirt?

They go out in the world and date somebody’s daughter.

The problem is artists like Eminem have  sold over 80 million copies of his albums world wide, making him one of the bestselling artists in the world. HIs disrespect for women have taken root in the hearts of many. Now, those boys to men will date women with violent and objectifying lyrics in their heads.

Too many daughters  will be victims of violence and misogyny. Unfortunately, the damage is done even if a violent hip hopper were to have second thoughts.

Entertaining lyrics shape the thoughts of many and have real consequences.

 

 

This interview with CBN News was based on the news story about Governor Sanford’s infidelity a few years ago, but has some terrific points in terms of how to think about picking up the pieces after an affair. Can marriages be saved? Click on the interview.

Screen shot charlene AMFeatured this week on Dr. Linda’s E-news.

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I was on a radio show discussing how the behavior of politicians and celebrities give permission for children to bully each other. It was an interesting angle, looking at the behavior of adults in our culture and discussing how the lack of civility and mutual respect feed bullying.

But let’s be honest. The biggest influence is in our homes.

When I cut off a driver on the highway and he hand gestures me in a not-so-friendly way, how do I respond?

Or when the person in front of me in the grocery line is taking too long, do I model patience and kindness?

How about the neighbor whose sprinkler system is aimed wrong and watering my car in my driveway every morning? Do I approach him with the love of Christ?

Every day, there are multiple opportunities to model civility for our kids. While we may not see much civility or mutual respect in politicians or celebrities, our kids are primarily learning from us.

A radio host recently asked me, “How do we bring back civility to our culture?” My answer, “Each person has to decide to live out Kingdom principles.” Even if we don’t always succeed (trust me, I make mistakes too!), our goal should be to value every person and not engage in personal insults and injury.

Your kids might hear politicians being nasty to one another, a rock star declaring his entitlement or a TV talk show host name-calling, but in your home, you have the power to model the proper way to treat another person. We can disagree, have debates, and take opposing positions, but we do not have to be mean and personally insulting in the process. And modeling civility in the small things of life is a powerful way to raise a respectful child.

Regardless of the situation, let’s remember that our kids are watching us and learning how to treat others by what they see us doing.

pree pausev2,TopRight,1,0_SH20_BO1,204,203,200_As I was preparing for my next radio show on Diet Mistakes, I thought I would pass these along on my blog. This is the time of year many of us are being intentional about losing weight.

So what should we be careful NOT to do!

1) Telling people you are on a DIET! Lose the word DIET from weight loss. Any word that begins with DIE can’t be good for us. Our goal is lifestyle change, not DIET.

2) Clicking on one of those BURN FAT NOW or LOSE 10 POUNDS IN 5 DAYS ads. There are no magic bullets, quick weight loss tricks that will keep weight off. Choose a sensible way to lose weight–cut back calories, use Weight Watchers, watch portions and cut our empty calorie food like donuts and chips.

3) Skipping breakfast will help me lose weight. WRONG. People who skip breakfast tend to build up an appetite and then binge later in the day. Think of your body like a wood burning fireplace. One log at a time does better at burning versus dumping a load of wood on the fire. When you skip the one log (breakfast), you tend to dump the wood on later (binge eat).

4) I’ll drink more liquid to fill myself up. As long as the liquid is water, go for it. But watch the calories in coffees and popular drinks. Typically they are loaded with calories. And diet drinks have artificial sweeteners that can trick the brain into feeling hungry. In fact, Michael G. Tordoff, Department of Neurobiology, Physiology and Behavior, University of California at Davis, found that artificial sweeteners can increase cellulite and contribute to weight gain!!!

5) Don’t get on the scale. Actually the opposite it true. Weigh yourself daily. The 3500 people studied at the National Weight Control Registry who maintained their weight loss, weighed daily. Weighing gives you feedback as to the reality of your strategies working or not working.

6) I’m going to exercise to lose weight. Actually, exercise to improve your fitness, mood and be in better health. So many people I treated were disappointed that exercise didn’t make them drop the pounds. Yes, exercise uses calories so it contributes to weight maintenance more than weight loss.

7) My goal is to lose 10 pounds the first week. This is unrealistic and only possible through drastic measures that will take off water weight first, not fat loss. So slow and steady is a better way to go.

8) I’m not going to snack at all. This may or may not work for you. Snacking on healthy foods curbs hunger so you don’t overeat at the next meal. It also helps your metabolism. Choose nuts, fruit, vegetables, protein for a quick pick up!

9) I am just tasting a bit here and there. All that tasting usually adds up to extra calories. Usually we aren’t aware of how much goes into our mouths when we pick at things.

10) I blew it so I’m giving up. This is the diet trap. If you are working on changing your lifestyle and eating habits, when you blow it, start over and get back on track. Lose the all or nothing thinking and give yourself a little grace.

 

For more help with the emotional side of weight loss, check out Dr. Linda Mintle’s Book, PRESS PAUSE BEFORE YOU EAT.