Doing Life Together

upsetYou’ve been hurt, wronged, treated unfairly, or even abused. The natural response it to seek revenge or want to hurt the person back. But Jesus was radical when he talked to us about how we are to respond to someone who offends or hurts us. And psychology has finally caught up to the benefits of choosing to forgive.

Here are 10 reasons why forgiveness is so important?


1)   Is a choice. You can choose to stay stuck and hold on to anger, bitterness, resentment or you can choose to move forward by letting go.


2)   Is not about what people deserve. None of us deserves to be forgiven yet God forgives us.


3)   Does not mean you condone what a person did. It means the opposite. You acknowledge the hurt and still choose to forgive which is why it is so powerful.


4)   Is an individual act. It takes two to reconcile but one to choose the route of forgivness.


5)    Is commanded by Christ, not an option. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them. Luke 17:4


6)   Helps your physical health by lowering blood pressure and stress and making you a reduced risk for substance abuse and depression.


7)   Opens the door to reconciliation. You can’t force someone to reconcile because you don’t have control over his/her actions but you can open the door to the possibility by beginning with forgiveness.


8)    Is on-going.  Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Matthew 18:21-22


9)     Forgiveness goes against our natural instincts to get revenge or even the score.

Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:19-21


10)  Forgiveness means leaving our case in the hands of God. 1 Peter 2:22-23

“He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.” When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.


For more help breaking free, Breaking Free from Anger and Unforgiveness by Dr. Linda Mintle


Today’s blog is my 30 minute radio show on Making Peace With Your Thighs and other body parts. Love the comments..issues with hands, thighs and other body parts. Fun show and lots of tips. Enjoy!

Click here! 


girlHalloween is not my favorite holiday. I don’t like all the creepy costumes associated with darkness. But it is not just the creepy costumes that bother me. Too many of the costumes, regardless of how you feel about Halloween, send the wrong message to young girls.

Have you looked at the offerings for young girls. Like most fashion, the costumes sexualize the girls. Short skirts, fishnet stockings, revealing body parts — a sharp contrast to the boys. Take the pirate costume for example, eye patch, baggy pants and top for guys. Same for the girls except the girl pirate wear a short skirt.

Maybe you are thinking, really, Dr. Linda, now you are harping on costumes!

I am, and here is why. I like to take every opportunity to point out the messages to young girls about their bodies.

Media help move this message. Think back on the movie, Mean Girls, and the line the mean girls give, “Halloween is the one night a year you can be a slut and get away with it.” Then, the mean girls make fun of a girl who doesn’t dress like a slut. It’s not just Miley Cyrus swinging on a wrecking ball, but also a fashion industry determined to sexualize girls at a young age.


Why do I care?

Because the message that it is all about your body continues to be fed to our girls. And we know that sexualized images of girls and young women in advertising, merchandizing and media are harmful to girls’ self-image and healthy development (American Psychological Association, 2007).

Halloween is a huge merchandizing holiday, filled with naughty and sexual costumes for fun! But the message to have fun and be noticed is to sex it up. And I see the fall out of this message in middle schools, high schools and colleges–Girls who think they have to look like prostitutes to get noticed, and guys who think they have to score to be popular. Record rates of eating disorders and body dissatisfaction along with negative self-image are consequences of an over emphasis on physical beauty and sexing it up.

Parents, talk to your kids about their choices in costumes if they participate in dress up. Find something that doesn’t demean or sexualize them. Reinforce the message that your child is more than a sexual object or physical beauty.


sm tanninYou know I have written on the dangers of tanning beds before (Six Reasons Why You Should Rethink Tanning), but now, one country is going beyond the warnings and actually banning the beds. Australia has one of the highest skin cancer rates in the world and decided to take action. Tanning beds are considered a carcinogen, the same as cigarettes and other types of cancer producing agents. Tanning beds have been linked to skin cancer, premature aging and even eye damage.

So while the US places warnings on these beds, know the risks are great enough that Brazil and now Australia are going to bans. The US is trying to tighten its oversight, recommending people under the age of 18 not use these beds. A study in JAMA Dermatology reports that nearly half of all cancers are from skin cancer in the US. Medical evidence supports a ban. Our fascination with tanning comes at a price and we are seeing a record number of younger people with skin cancer and melanoma.

So talk to your kids about the importance of not using these beds.I know for events like prom, homecoming and other awards, high school students like to tan to look good in their gowns. This “look” comes at a price not worth it. We need to start a new trend, one that appreciates the untanned look. Because looking good at homecoming is not worth a melanoma a few years later.


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