Advertisement

Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

Free and Easy Stress Buster

posted by Linda Mintle

I’ve written about it before. I trained residents, librarians, social workers, teachers and others in this easy stress buster.

It’s free, it’s easy and it will save money on your health care costs.

What is it?

SMILING! Your facial gestures influence your mental health!

In a study published in Psychological Science (November 2012), researchers found that smiling reduced stress. Using a rather imaginative approach, researchers had people smile unknowingly. Here is what they did. During a stress task, subjects had to place chopsticks in their mouths. The chopstick positions forced three different types of facial response. One produced a neutral expression, the second produced a smile and the third a full smile. This way, each subject didn’t know he or she was smiling. Tricky!

Advertisement

The smiling people reduced their stress. The muscles involved in the smile sent a message to the brain, signaling safety, and lowering heart rate.

So here is your charge–smile often and big!

Smile at other people as it seems to be contagious. People smile back at you and you are de-stressing them as well!

Smile at your job and on a date and you will project a more positive image.

Smile when someone cuts you off in traffic and you will lower your heart rate.

Make smiling your favorite exercise.

Mother Theresa once said, “Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” Sounds like it is also a gift to yourself.

NOW GET OUT THERE and SMILE!

 

 

Advertisement

Help for Eating Disorders

posted by Linda Mintle

If you or someone you love has an eating disorder, it’s best to get help quickly. Treatment can save your life! The longer you stay in your abnormal eating habits, the more ingrained they become.

The first step is to get a good physical exam with a physician who understands the medical issues involved with eating disorders. He/she will need to rule out any physical cause for the disorder and evaluate your physical condition.

Most people can be treated in an outpatient setting, but sometimes hospitalization is necessary. Hospitalization is usually considered when weight loss is severe, when there are serious metabolic disturbances, when there is a risk of suicide due to clinical depression, when binging and purging is severe or when you are experiencing psychosis.

Advertisement

Because eating disorders involve complex emotional, psychological and spiritual issues, you need a comprehensive plan that will help you overcome the disorder. Usually a team of multidisciplinary professionals is assembled to treat you. The team should include a registered dietitian, a physician, a mental health practitioner who can provide individual, group and family psychotherapy and a psychopharmacologist-someone knowledgeable about psychoactive medications used to treat these disorders if needed.

The dietitian will help you establish good eating habits, correct faulty information about food, and help you gain or lose the appropriate weight safely and sensibly. The emphasis is on teaching you to use food as nutrition, not as a coping mechanism. The nutritionist, along with the therapist and physician, agree on a target weight for you to achieve. It is her job to nudge you along to your target weight.

Advertisement

The mental health practitioner is usually a psychologist, clinical social worker, marriage and family therapist or counselor. The therapist helps you deal with the underlying emotional, spiritual and interpersonal issues that are playing out through preoccupation with food. The most effective models of individual therapy use a cognitive-behavioral or interpersonal therapy approach. The focus is usually examination and change of thoughts and behaviors.

Group therapy can be helpful in sharing your struggles with others who have the disorder. Groups help you feel less isolated, ashamed and more supported. Many groups provide good information along with support. Therapy groups can assist you in the practice of assertiveness, help you find your voice and identity, and explore interpersonal issues.

Advertisement

Family therapy is especially needed with young girls and teens. It is highly recommended for all types of eating problems. Family involvement aids treatment. Family work deals with family dynamics that contribute to the disorders.

Sometimes, not always, medications are used to help an underlying depression or anxiety problem. A psychopharmacologist may provide treatment recommendations to improve mood, control urges to binge and deal with excessive anxiety blocking progress.

Overall, the work of recovery and eventual freedom is a team effort using the resources of many fields. People with eating disorders often deny the seriousness of the problem. Some react with anger when help is sought. Denial of the problem is strong. Face your problem. Help is available. Early intervention leads to success.

Advertisement

 

For more help, Dr. Linda’s Book BREAKING FREE FROM ANOREXIA AND BULIMIA

Advertisement

Parent Alienation Syndrome

posted by Linda Mintle

In the 1980s, a forensic psychiatrist coined the term parental alienation syndrome (PAS) to describe the efforts of one parent to turn his or her children against the other. The syndrome involves deliberate mental and emotional abuse that can occur among highly conflictual couples who fight over custody.

The result is a child who harbors tremendous negativity towards a parent that is not based on actual experience with that parent.

It is a phenomena familiar to divorce attorneys who listen to endless cycles of accusations and counter accusations between spouses in child-custody disputes. PAS pits one parent against the other, the good and evil parent. When it works, the children also turn against the maligned parent.

Advertisement

The motivation behind PAS is usually rooted in poor coping from the failed marriage. Instead of a spouse engaging in healthy grieving for the loss of the marriage, the spouse goes after the spouse and engages the children in the battle. The spouse feels so damaged from the breakup, that enlisting the children in the anger and blame of the other serves as a way to further the blame. Or the spouse who vilifies feels so rejected and alone, turns to the children for nurturing and a source of support, even companionship. What emerges is a “we against the world” position. Instead of owning his or her part of the divorcing conflict, the spouse blames the other in a self-righteous way to protect the children.

Whatever the dynamics in play, the end result is poor conflict management and  children suffering the effects of parents who can’t cooperate on their behalf. Children are left with fears, confusion, sadness, and despair because parents can’t work through their disputes. The way conflict is handle destroys relationships and devastates children. Parents manipulate and use their children to get revenge.

Custodial parents are charged by the law to avoid any disruptions with the child’s other parent, yet, time and time, we see this syndrome acted out. This needs to stop for the sake of the children.

 

Advertisement

Why The Biggest Loser Loses Me

posted by Linda Mintle

I’ve worked with obese people for years. My biggest client weighed almost 650 pounds, so I am sensitive to the plight of people who are morbidly obese. But I just can’t get into the Biggest Loser television show and here is why.

1) I’ve never worked with an obese person and yelled at him or her. In real life, I can’t imagine what this does to a person’s self-esteem that is already fragile. It bothers me to hear and see it.

2) We want people to learn to enjoy exercise so that they can sustain it as a lifestyle. Exercising until you vomit or are injured will not endure people to exercise. In fact, I just wrote a blog on how over exertion can lead to a person hating exercise.

Advertisement

3) It bothers me to see people on a scale, half dressed, waiting to see a number that defines their success. This doesn’t work for me, so I can’t imagine how it would for these people. Part of counseling people with weight problems is helping them understand that they are more than a number on a scale. This show only reinforces the opposite.

4) The  journal, Obesity, published a study that concluded that people, especially thin people, who watch The Biggest Loser tend to judge the obese more harshly. You would think that people would be more sympathetic towards the contestants seeing them work hard and connecting to their lives. Researchers think the negativity is because the show leads people to believe that losing weight is completely in the control of the obese. Rebecca Puhl, PhD, director of research at the Rudd Center for Food Policy & Obesity at Yale University in New Haven, Conn. told WebMD this, “The real reality is that significant, sustainable weight loss is not achievable for most people.” Rudd was not a part of the study but knows from her research that most people sustain about 10% of their body weight in weight loss.

Advertisement

5) Years later, most of these people regain the weight. Remove the trainers, the diet control and all the support, and weight loss maintenance remains the toughest thing for obese people to do.

So while The Biggest Loser might provide entertainment for many, it’s too bothersome for me.

 

 

Source: Domoff, S. Obesity, Jan. 12, 2012.Miller, C. “The Impact of Viewing the Reality TV show ‘The Biggest Loser’ on Attitudes Towards Obese People.” National Obesity Summit, Montreal PQ, April 2011.

Previous Posts

Stop That Hyper Parenting!
Hyper parenting is a relatively new concept. One that may be doing more harm than good when it comes to preparing our children for life. When I was growing up, we came home from school, played outside until we were called for supper. Games of ...

posted 7:00:21am Jul. 06, 2015 | read full post »

What Does True Freedom Mean and Require?
As we celebrate this Independence Day, it is important to remember the freedom we have in this country to openly embrace our religious beliefs. For the Christian, true freedom is found in Christ. But with this freedom comes responsibility as ...

posted 7:00:54am Jul. 03, 2015 | read full post »

5 Things to Say That Will Upset Your Partner
If you want to upset your partner, try these tried and true conversation starters or responses. These phrases will get a reaction, mostly, an upsetting one. So think before you speak! 1) We need to talk. Yes, this is the title of my latest ...

posted 7:00:05am Jul. 02, 2015 | read full post »

Are You Practicing The Best Parenting Style?
Parenting is on John's mind now that his second child has arrived. John was raised by a father who was harsh and demanding. John often felt as if he could not live up to his father's expectations. Now a father himself, John is aware that his ...

posted 7:00:20am Jun. 29, 2015 | read full post »

Are You Genetically Predisposed to Worry?
Susan feels she can’t stop worrying no matter how hard she tries. She’s beginning to wonder if she is a born worry. She is asking, "Can worry be genetic?" In 2007, Yale researchers found a gene variation associated with chronic worrying ...

posted 7:00:57am Jun. 26, 2015 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.