Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

10 Ways to Remember on Memorial Day

posted by Linda Mintle

Memorial Day usually means a day off, time to relax, barbecue, the beach and time with friends.

But I hope on this Memorial Day you also take time to remember the significance of the day –honoring the people who have served our country and given their lives for our freedom.

It is an especially sobering day for me. I lost a brother during the Viet Nam war. That loss forever changed our family. And this year, I won’t be with my 91-year-old father (he served in WWII) who will place flowers on my brother’s grave. My mom, who has gone to be with the Lord, and dad always took us to the military part of cemetery to decorate graves.


And because I live in a military town, I am acutely aware of all the families that lost loved ones to recent wars as well.

So this year, here are 10 ways to honor our soldiers who died:

1) Explain the significance of the day to your children.

2) Fly the American flag at half-mast.

3) Visit a war museum or memorial.

4) Place  a red poppy on the grave of a veteran (a symbol of the blood of heroes that never dies).

5) Take a moment for a silent prayer and pray for those still in harm’s way.

6) Attend a parade or religious service honoring our fallen soldiers.

7) Participate in the National Moment of Remembrance (pause at 3:00p.m. your time zone).

8) Give a donation to a veteran charity like the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund.


9) Sponsor a  thank you bouquet through the National Memorial Day Foundation ( ). You can dedicate your bouquet to a fallen soldier.

10) Ask your school to be involved in the Adopt a Grave program –the school takes care of a grave of a fallen soldier by keeping it clean and placing flowers on it.

There aren’t words to express the gratitude I feel to those who bravely fought for our freedom. Thank you to all the soldiers.





Are You Underestimating That Fast Food Burger?

posted by Linda Mintle

burgerIt’s a busy day. You don’t have time to cook. On your way back from that late soccer practice, you swing by the fast food restaurant and order burgers, drinks and fries for the kids. But do you really know how many calories you are giving those kids or yourself for that matter?

According to a new study funded by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, you may not.

Researchers at Harvard Medical School and Harvard Pilgrim Health Care Institute found that teens underestimate the calories in fast food 34% of the time; parents of school-age children by 23%; and adults by 20%. About a quarter of the people studied underestimated their meals by 500 calories! And interestingly, diners at Subway underestimated their calories more than diners at Burger King, McDonald’s, KFC, Wendy’s and Dunkin’ Donuts. This finding confirms another study that was recently in the news about Subway and McDonald diners eating about the same calories. I would guess that because Subway has been associated with weight loss,  many people order high calorie foods thinking they are being more calorie conscious.


Personally I have a fast food app that is very helpful in making decisions when I find myself at these dining places.  I am often surprised by the total calories in many items that sound slimming. Sometimes the restaurant posts the calories, other times you can go to their websites.

Now, I know most of you won’t take the time to regularly look up the menu items so here is what I suggest. Look up the items you most often order. Check the calories. Then look for items you like that have lower calories and order those instead. I do that with Taco Bell, the one fast food restaurant I sometimes frequent when out and about. I know which items are the lowest in calories and fat and order those. Honestly, this strategy works because it still gives me the option to run through the drive through in a pinch.

So check out that burger and fries and learn things like how many calories you save at Five Guys by just removing the cheese from your order! Come on people, we can do this!


Shocked by A Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church

posted by Linda Mintle

A story from Anglican Ink shocked me the other day. I had to report it because this is a sign of our times –a sign warned about in Scripture. This is so sad and so wrong.

Acts 16:16-34 is the account of the Apostle Paul and Silas meeting a fortune teller, who was a slave of people trying to exploit her for money. She was possessed by a demonic spirit, giving her powers to predict the future. Her masters used and abused her and profited from her demonic activity. For days, this girl followed Paula and Silas, yelling and trying to stop their ministry.  Paul commanded the demon to leave by the power of Jesus Christ. It did and the masters lost their ability to make money off her demonic activity. Upset, the masters dragged Paul and Silas into the marketplace, had them beaten and arrested. In prison, Paul and Silas were miraculously released by God and led the jailor and His family to the Lord. OK that is the story. Read it for yourself.


The presiding Bishop of the Episcopal church, Katharine Jefferts Schori, delivered a sermon in Venezuela that denounced Paul as mean-spirited and bigoted because he released a slave girl from bondage. This is shocking and incredible. Paul frees someone from spiritual bondage and is declared mean and a bigot?

And it gets worse, the Bishop declared anyone who didn’t share her views as “enemies of the Holy Spirit.” She goes on to reframe evil (demonic possession) as diversity and chides us for not accepting this. Somehow, in the middle of demonic activity we are supposed to glimpse the divine of God. OK, so Paul delivering the slave and bringing her out of spiritual bondage is not seeing a person created by God who needs freedom? Leaving her bound would have been better and accepting of her diversity? This is so delusional.


She then says that the slave girl is right for calling Paul and Silas slaves of God and rightfully puts them in their places. His refusal to see her in her demonic state as God’s image makes him a bigot. I guess his exorcist of the demonic spirit makes him mean? How screwed up is this view?

Paul and Silas were imprisoned for removing the demon (she fails to mention this upset her masters because they lost their livelihood of exploiting the girl for money) and then tells us Paul repents for his sin of casting out the demon. Show me where that is in the text. No where. She is doctrinally wrong and using the text for her own interpretation and agenda at radical inclusion. This story has nothing to do with inclusion and her argument to see the divine in all people (a Buddhist idea by the way) is ridiculous when someone is possessed by a demon. The compassionate, freeing thing to do is to exorcise that demon to give that girl spiritual freedom and a way out of exploitation. By the power of Jesus Christ, the girl is freed from the demon and now has the chance to be what God intended her to be. Disciples of Christ do not apologize for setting people free in the name of Jesus. Sorry Ms. Schori, that is doctrinally wrong and not in the Bible.

Scary how this Bishop twisted Scripture for her own crazy thoughts and then called all of us who disagree with her enemies of the Holy Spirit.

Thankfully, the response to her sermon has not been received well. Pray for her blinded eyes to be opened. This leader needs a true revelation of Jesus Christ. Don’t be taken in by such heresy.



10 Ways to Rebuild Relationship Trust

posted by Linda Mintle

I Married You 7607FIRS scandals, reports of infidelity, misuse of funds, friendship betrayals….they all involve a loss of trust.

Trust is foundational to any relationship. It is about having confidence in someone or something, relying on someone and believing what he or she says is true. Trust involves honesty, integrity and justice.

It takes a long time to build  and a moment to break it.


Relationships flourish when there is trust. Without trust, relationships are in trouble.

So how does one build trust in relationships, especially if that trust has been broken? Here are 10 ways to build trust:

1) The person who betrayed you or broke trust must admit to the action. Take responsibility without downplaying actions.

2) Be remorseful. If you broke someone’s trust, remorse needs to be evidenced. Without remorse, doubt remains.

3) Once trust is broken, the person you betrayed should be free to ask questions in order to better understand what happened. The betrayer cannot complain about having to answer questions that might be uncomfortable.

4) Forgive the person who broke the trust. This doesn’t mean you condone the action of the person, minimize the impact, or act like it never happened. Forgiveness means you acknowledge the breach and choose not to allow it to fester in unforgiveness and bitterness.


5) Give assurance when and where needed. Once trust is breached, lots of reassurance is needed in order to help the person see your efforts to make changes.

6) Be empathetic to the pain caused by the trust violation. Often, people want to admit to their mistake and then move on without further consequences. But pain is usually involved and takes time to work through. The violator needs to be empathetic to the time it takes a person to heal and be ready to try again.

7) Be patient. You can’t rush the rebuild of trust.  It takes time to see if the person is trustworthy again.

8) Don’t use a trust violation as a weapon. What is done, is done. Focus on moving forward. You will remember the breach, but the pain will eventually go away. So don’t keep bringing it up the past and using it to make a point or fight.


9) No secrets. Relationships built on secrecy do not do well. Honesty is needed to rebuild trust, even when that honesty is painful.

10) Move towards reconciliation. Forgiveness takes one person. Reconciliation takes two.


If you are having trouble rebuilding trust, you may want to see a counselor to help move all parties through the process.



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