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Doing Life Together

We all develop an insecure or secure bond with our original families. That bond is referred to as an attachment style. The more secure the bond, the better you will deal with conflict. Two bonding styles make conflict difficult–anxious and avoidant. To feel more secure you want to lower your anxiety and stop avoiding. So take…

When Janet’s dad died suddenly, she was able to talk to friends and get though the tragic loss. Her husband, Jack, didn’t fare as well. Being male, he felt he had to be strong for Janet. Yet, Janet’s dad was the dad Jack never knew. The loss hit him hard. When Jack felt the loss, he…

Families are busy and when there is a little down time, kids usually grab their screens and engage in solo play. If they are on social media, they may have a number of “friends” but these are not deep friendships and may even interfere with developing solid social skills. We know that having a best…

WE NEED TO TALK! When you hear that phrase, what goes through your mind? Take the short quiz here and see how you deal with conflict. Now that you know your primary style, let me ask you a few more questions: 1. How do you feel when you watch or participate in conflict? 2. Are…

Jack was the victim of child abuse growing up. Then, his mother died and he became a ward of the state, in and out of foster homes. His childhood was not only filled with abuse and trauma, but abandonment. As an adult, he suffered from depression and anxiety. Many people have stories like Jack’s –some less traumatic like growing…

Please, put away your cell phone! We are eating dinner.  Get off the video game now. You have homework to do.  How many hours have you spent on Facebook? How about a real conversation? I admit, I tend to focus on the negative impact of too much screen time. We know, from studies, that too…

Jim and Rachel are at it again. They can’t seem to agree on so many issues and all the fighting is taking a toll. Like so many of us, this couple needs help navigating conflict in a way that grows, not destroys, their relationship. “We need to talk . . .” It’s amazing how these four short words…

Sean Lowe, made famous by the reality television shows The Bachelorette and The Bachelor, was known as the Virgin Bachelor. But Lowe makes no apologies for his desire to wait until marriage to have sex with the woman he wanted to marry. Recently, he spoke at Liberty University’s convocation and talked about how he challenged the lie that you have…

He sat in my office and told me his father died suddenly of a heart attack. There was no warning and he and his mom were heartbroken.  She was crying as she talked about her 20 year marriage coming to an end. Her husband words, “I don’t love you and want out,” hit hard.  He…

Money, money, money…The OJays sang about it, reminding us us what people will do for the love of money-steal from their mother, rob from their brother, lie, cheat and don’t care who they hurt or beat, etc. In Matthew, Jesus tells us that you can’t love money and God. He chided the religious leaders of his…
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