Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

Taming Your Temper In Any Relationship

posted by Linda Mintle

Temper outbursts don’t help relationships. Staying cool and calm and thinking before you speak is the desired behavior. Well, researchers at the University of Michigan and Ohio State may have come up with a way to help tame your temper.

Here’s how it works: Your partner does something to irritate you and you are about to lose control. Instead of ruminating on what the person did (thinking about it over and over -this makes it more likely you will lose your temper), you try another approach. You step back from the situation and view it from a distance. Believe it or not, this small shift, called self-distancing, brings down the anger and irritability.

So next time you find yourself about to blow up at your partner, become a fly on the wall. Step back and take a little distance. This keeps aggressive thoughts and angry feelings at bay and makes you less likely to lose your temper.

If You Have Friggatriskaidekaphobia, Today Could Be Tough!

posted by Linda Mintle

If you have Friggatriskaidekaphobia, you and 17 to 21 million other people may have an anxious day today.

Today is Friday the 13th. Friggatriskaidekaphobia is the fear of Friday the 13th!

And while there is no causal evidence that links Friday the 13th to any bad event or luck, this day can actually paralyze people with fear. We joke about the day, but it is no joke to those filled with anxiety. Some refuse to fly, get out of bed, do business and feel paralyzed on this dreaded day.

Why the fear?

According to the Department of Psychology Chair at Cornell University, people tend to link unpleasant things or events in their lives to this perceived unlucky day. Because of the superstition associated with the day, if anything bad or negative happened to you, you could link the negative events to the date. Basically, the fear develops by association and believing superstition.

Interestingly, some people link religious events to Friday the 13th–the 13th guest at the Last Supper betrayed Jesus! But don’t go there because Christianity is not about luck or superstition.

The fear or anxiety produced is clearly an issue of the mind that has been reinforced in the culture.

Think–no 13th floors in buildings, Alfred Hitchcock was born on Friday the 13th,  airports often omit gate 13, jokes about Friday the 13th, etc. And apparently this day can be a down day in the economy because people are more hesitant to do business.

So, if you know someone who truly suffers from this fear, don’t make fun of the person. Let him or her know there is help. The Stress Management Center and Phobia Institute in Asheville, N.C.,  offers therapy to help people overcome their fear of Friday the 13th. And because the day continues to make the calendar, it would be worth getting over the fear.

 

For more help with worry and anxiety, click on my book cover, Letting Go of Worry.

Mom Pressuring Daughter to Have Breast Implants

posted by Linda Mintle

It’s girls gone wild with mum leading the way! (Dad left 12 years ago!)

14- year-old Britney Marshall  lives in England with her family. She looks like a normal young teen, except the family photo could easily be mistaken for The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Britney is the youngest of five daughters–all blonde and all endowed to the ridiculous! Well, not naturally endowed. Her 53-year-old mother is wondering what she did wrong in raising Britney.

Are you ready for why? Brace yourself, I’m guessing this is not something any of my readers struggle with in terms of their daughters!

It is because Britney may refuse breast implants– a rite of passage among mum and the four sisters. Britney’s mum is worried because young Brit doesn’t want size 32 GG breasts like she has ( I didn’t even know there was such a size! And one daughter is a 34 HH–this must be even bigger). She wants young Brit to follow in her and her sisters’ footsteps, or should we say bra size! Mum loves the look of fake breasts and really hopes her daughter comes around. All her sisters have had breast implants.

The women in Britney’s family boast 13 operations and six pints of silicon. The price tag for all the plastic surgery could put Americans back to work!

The crazy part here is that the kid is the sensible one, saying she wants to focus on school and her future, not her body.

And it gets better, mum also has four boys who are siding with Brit!

So Britney, I’m with your brothers—be different, be yourself!

And mum, take some of the money you have for more surgery and use it to find a good mental health therapist and get a copy of my book, Making Peace With Your Thighs (and other body parts). Read the chapter on Breasts for a little sanity in your thinking.

 

 

Does Your Personality Make You Fat?

posted by Linda Mintle

It’s summer and once again, we are all determined to shed those extra pounds. So, stop staring at that carrot and wishing it was a hot fudge sundae! Something else is going on in your head.

Consider this: Your personality may be making you fat!

Here’s what researchers at the National Institute on Aging found:

1) If you lean towards neuroticism (easily experience negative emotions)

3) And, are low on begin organized and disciplined (well, of course)

2) And are impulsive

3)And are not too agreeable.

4) And had a low quality relationship with your mom when you were a toddler (Pediatrics)

You are more likely to gain weight than people without these traits.

Now does this mean you need a personality make-over? Of course not.Well maybe, but that is really hard to do when things are hard wired into your brain.

Instead, change your thinking, identify overeating triggers and change your behavior. Weight loss is still possible for the personality challenged!

 

For more help with emotional eating, click on the book cover above, Press Pause Before You Eat.

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