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Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

Bride to Be, Be Debt Free! 10 Tips!

posted by Linda Mintle

2 bouquet

It’s June. Wedding month!

OK this is crazy. The average cost of a wedding today is around $26,000 to $28,400 according to a recent article in USA TODAY. And it appears that the bride and groom are picking up more of the costs. But is this cost worth it?

In my opinion, NO!

Why begin a marriage accruing such debt? Or why use money for a wedding that could go a long way on a downpayment of a house, a car or something you need to go about life?

Just because we can, doesn’t mean we should!

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So here are a few tips, tried and true from my own wedding experience to keep the costs down.

1) Keep your guest list reasonable. Have your closest friends and don’t invite everyone possible.

2) Consider another day. Friends of mine are getting married on a Sunday. Another picked a Friday night. Venues are cheaper when you avoid the popular days and times.

3) If you know you are getting married, shop all year and shop at thrift stores. My daughter-in-law to be found lots of items at pawn shops, thrift shops or on Craig’s list. Think about it. What do people do with left over wedding items–Craig’s list!

4) Do it yourself–as much as possible. We saved money by tearing down our own venues, borrowing items from friends, making decorations,etc.

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5) You may like the show, Say Yes to the Dress, but it should be titled, Say Yes to Expense! You can find bargain wedding gowns with a little digging. I saw a stunning gown the other day at a JCrew Factory clearance outlet. I bought my own gown for pennies because it had a small thread pull in the train. No one could see it but the price dropped ridiculously low.

6) Raid your friends gardens for flowers or go seasonal. Right now, a friend of mine has peonies blooming like wild fire. These would be stunning on tables at a wedding reception. Consider?

7) Offer to help your friends and they will help you. So much can be done when friends pitch in to help. I’ve help others and now they are helping me. It’s a win-win!

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8) Bake your own desserts. Ahead of time, you can bake the goodies, freeze and use them. A friend of mine did this and saved tremendously on the cost of desserts. Or maybe a friend would do this as a wedding gift!

9) Bargain and negotiate. I was surprised at how much discount I could get when I negotiated rather than just accept the price offered.

10) Use on-line printers for invitations and print materials. In my experience, you can find great bargains this way.

Bottom, line, you can cut the costs tremendously and start your married life with a little more cash in the pocket.

 

 

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Caffeine Intoxication? It May Not Be Just From Coffee!

posted by Linda Mintle

coffeeYou make your morning run for a Grande Skinny Vanilla Latte, drink a cup of coffee at the office mid morning, and  have a Diet Coke for lunch. Could you qualify for a mental disorder?

Sounds crazy, but the  DSM V (The Bible of mental disorders)  qualifies caffeine intoxication as a mental disorder.

Do a quick check: Are you…

___Restless

___Nervous

___Excited

___Rrd-faced t

___Muscle twitching

___Not sleeping

___Having gastrointestinal upset

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___Experiencing irregular heart rate

All signs of caffeine intoxication. And if these symptoms cause you distress and impact your daily functioning, get the number of a therapist.

Time to detox and be ready for the headache, fatigue, concentration problems and irritability that may follow.

Caffeine intoxication can happen with about 2.5 cups of coffee (above 250mg).

You may be thinking, really, this is ridiculous, but when you consider that caffeine is inserted in many of our foods, this is a real issue. And to me, this is the story.

It’s one think for me to drink 2 cups of coffee and know I better watch my intake, but another to be completely unaware of the foods that contain caffeine.

Caffeine can be found in all kinds of foods like potato chips, sunflower seeds, beef jerky, gummy bears, marshmallows, and gum. So check labels, especially if you have children. Too much caffeine is not good for anyone and may even land you in a therapist office.

 

 

 

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Why Should You Care About the Controversial DSM V?

posted by Linda Mintle

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM), version 5, is finally out after years of debate and posturing. This book is considered the “Bible” of psychiatry. It is the one used by all clinicians and doctors to give diagnoses so insurance companies will pay for mental health benefits and so treatment can be directed. It is part science and part art and that can be a problem. For example, in 1968, the DSM voted out Narcissistic Personality Disorder, then in 1980, it was voted back in–not something you see with disease. For example, does bronchitis get voted in and out of disease?

The 947 page manual contains revisions that have been controversial. So much so that The National Institute of Mental Health has turned its back on the DSMV and is working on its own diagnostic system for 2020, claiming to bring more precision to biological markers of mental illness. But DSM V has already attempted that and found it to be more challenging than anticipated. Still, NIMH feels the DSM-V lacks validity and won’t use it in its funded studies.

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Even though psychiatry is moving to a more neurobiological model, there is still so much we don’t know. And while we know psychotherapy is effective in so many cases, psychotherapy would be marginalized in a more neurobiological model. Already, it is tough getting reimbursement for helpful therapies like marital and family.

Part of the controversy includes dropping Asperger’s syndrome and child disintegrative disorder. They are included under the blanket autism diagnosis.

Bereavement will now be excluded, making it difficult to distinguish between “normal” grief and depression.

Binge Eating Disorder becomes a full fledge diagnosis that most of us would probably qualify for at some point!

And on it goes…

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The reason this manual is so important is because it affects who gets treatment.

What most therapists do is find a diagnosis that seems to fit so people can use the code to pay for their treatment. Then a therapist goes about the business of working with people to solve problems and help them live better. Most therapists will reluctantly embrace the DSMV because of its necessity to service provision. But that doesn’t mean we are excited about the changes.

 

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Do You Keep The Commandment To Rest?

posted by Linda Mintle

man sleepingExodus 20: Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your manservant, nor your maidservant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.

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Rest…a commandment given, but not often followed in today’s culture. For me, I tend not to rest because I always have so much to do, but I heard a sermon Sunday that challenged me to rethink rest on Sunday.

I felt convicted, not because I wasn’t following the rule of the law, but because I didn’t really grasp the reason for rest. So after the sermon, I was intentional about resting, changing my perspective and trusting God to redeem my time.

My pastor talked about rest in the context of self-sufficiency. Our inability to rest is often motivated by our self-sufficiency. If we don’t keep working, the work won’t get done. It all depends on us.Yes, we must be diligent in all we do, but even God rested on the seventh day from His work of creation.

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Rest is more than an Old Testament law difficult to follow. It points to something spiritual.

We rest because we believe God is working for us, or in the case of salvation, the work is already done. Rest points to the work of Jesus. Jesus, our warrior King, has already won the battle and provides us rest in Him. He goes before us, He leads us, He provides and gives us rest.

The pastor went on to explain how the day of rest shifted from the Sabbath to Sunday because of Jesus. Jesus took our sin to the cross and gave us freedom from sin and eternal life.

“Thank you oh my father, For giving us your son,
And leaving your spirit, ’til the work on earth is done” (Keith Green).

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Rest begins on our first day of the week, rather than the last as was the case in the Old Testament. Jesus represents the new beginning. He was raised from the dead on a Sunday and so we begin our week with worship and resting in Him. The first thing we do in the week is to worship Him because the work is already done. We rest in Him, completely depending on Him, knowing that He works on our behalf. I can rest knowing that my life is directed, led and in the hands of my Savior. It is not all about me!

The sermon changed my perspective. Rather than wondering what I should or should not do on the day of rest in order to keep the commandment, I realized that Sunday, the beginning of my week, is my day to rest and worship God in all I do. I don’t work my way to God, He has already completed the work for me.

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Rest is a spiritual act. It declares the glory of God, His powerful sacrifice on our behalf and His Son who goes before us each day, working all things for our good.

Can you rest in that truth?

The pastor ended the sermon with a challenge, “Think of ways you can worship God on the day of rest.” Rather than trying to keep some legalistic law, worship!

Rest is an act of worship!

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