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Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

A Bully Now Anti-Bully–A Spiritual Lesson

posted by Linda Mintle

Apparently, Abercrombie & Fitch CEO, Mike Jeffries, is reacting to all the negative press about his remarks to exclude uncool teens and unattractive people from his clothing line. Even late night television picked up the bullying behavior and did a spoof on Jeffries remarks. His comments sounded like a grown up bully–you can’t be part of our club because you are not cool enough. This, from a 60 something man!

Now the CEO bully is offering an anti-bully college scholarship to a high schooler who has maintained high achievement in  the face of being bullied. I wonder if the winner will also qualify to wear Abercrombie’s clothing as well.

Call me skeptical, but it feels like a reactionary move to critics rather than a genuine commitment to change. Jeffries has admitted that he is exclusionary when it comes to his clothing. He has been highly focused on image, touting thin and beautiful as the way to be in and current.

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But maybe the public outcry gave him pause, at least from a business perspective.

This story is about what is in the heart. Matthew 12:34 tells us that out of the heart, the mouth speaks. What Jeffries originally said was what was in his heart. Only when there was a public outcry did he try to undo his words.

So is that a bad thing?

NO. Public outcry can cause us to reexamine our hearts. King David did this when he was “caught” by the prophet Nathan. He was in sin, caught, but repented and turned from his sinful way.

We all hold unkind things in our hearts that aren’t always exposed. But when we speak and the heart is revealed, it can be a window into our inner thoughts. If we truly see our sin (pride, bullying, thinking more highly of ourselves than others, etc)  and repent of it, asking God to forgive us, we can grow and behave in better ways. God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins when we confess them.

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We can’t judge the heart of Mike Jeffries. We don’t know if he was driven to provide this scholarship in order to clean up his image and regain lost market share. Or maybe, and we can always hope this, the public outcry caused him to re-examine his own heart and make a change. Only God and the people who know him best, know what is really in his heart.

The positive side of this publicity stunt or true change is that one teen will benefit from bullying behavior!

The spiritual lesson is that even if you are caught doing something wrong, you can repent and make changes. That gives hope to all of us.

True change can be measured by consistent action in a positive direction.

Let’s see how Jeffries does.  Behavior follows repentance.

 

 

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Oppose A Health Care Position and You Are Anti-Women!

posted by Linda Mintle

teen girl upsetWhy is it that if you oppose a health care position, you are labeled anti-women?

Let me explain. I’m reading this story in USA Today  about the feds dropping the appeal over the morning after pill. A court has ordered the Department of Justice to comply with the sale of the morning-after pill to girls of any age without a prescription. Once the FDA receives the new drug application from the makers of the pill, it plans to approve it promptly.

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Whether you agree or disagree with this decision, it is the language involved in reporting that really bothers me. If you agree that young girls should have access to the pill at any age without parental notice,  you are an advocate for girls and women. And if you think young girls should involve their parents in their medical care, you oppose “reproductive justice.”

Supporters of all access for the pill cry out for “absolute rights” for all women.

So, do school children have “absolute rights” to refuse vaccinations required by law to attend public schools? What if those girls don’t want a doctor controlling their body by giving them a shot? And if my minor child decides she wants breast implants, should she have an “absolute right” to have that procedure without parent permission? I know that sounds absurd, but so do these arguments.

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For most parents, the issue is about knowing what is happening to their child’s health for whom they are responsible. This is common sense, not politics!

I would never want my minor daughter involved in any medical procedure or medication without my guidance. She is still under my care, and I am responsibility for her health care. If something goes wrong or there is a side effect, is the federal government going to come to the clinic and provide her care? No, it will be the parents who are expected to deal with the fall out, but have none of the information. If I neglect my daughter’s health care, I can be hauled into court. Honestly, I see allowing girls to get over the counter prescriptions as a form of neglect. No physician is overseeing their care and this is not a best practice. No one is attending to the emotional issues involved in having sex, becoming pregnant and making decisions about the life of a child–this is neglect of the mental health of a person. And you can’t tell me otherwise because I have treated far too many women who made these type of decisions at a young age and admit they wished they had guidance, someone to talk to about their decisions (not a clinic), and more realistic options.

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Bottom line, people are not opposing women just because they want some supervision over the health care of minor children. Stop turning these decisions into some kind of political agenda about womens’ rights! How about if we get really radical and consider the health of our children! Just once, I would like to read about an issue where the medical facts, the psychological and spiritual implications are presented without over the top rhetoric. There is no real dialogue about issues like this because the opposition is vilified.

Ann Higgins, director of the councils’ Center for Human Dignity, responded to the lifting of the appeal by saying this was a good move because it put the health and safety of women over politics. I couldn’t disagree more. Involving parents and physicians is putting the health and safety of young girls first and is NOT a political issue–it’s a health and safety issue.

But if the health and safety issue comes down on the wrong side of the political argument, get ready, you are labeled anti-women!

 

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Is the ME Generation More Narcissistic Than Generations of the Past?

posted by Linda Mintle

I talked to CBN News about the TIME MAGAZINE cover concerning this generation being more narcissistic than the past. Watch the interview to see if this is really true. And how can churches respond knowing what we know? Click on the picture to watch.

Screen shot 2013-06-05 at 8.54.52 AM

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Bride to Be, Be Debt Free! 10 Tips!

posted by Linda Mintle

2 bouquet

It’s June. Wedding month!

OK this is crazy. The average cost of a wedding today is around $26,000 to $28,400 according to a recent article in USA TODAY. And it appears that the bride and groom are picking up more of the costs. But is this cost worth it?

In my opinion, NO!

Why begin a marriage accruing such debt? Or why use money for a wedding that could go a long way on a downpayment of a house, a car or something you need to go about life?

Just because we can, doesn’t mean we should!

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So here are a few tips, tried and true from my own wedding experience to keep the costs down.

1) Keep your guest list reasonable. Have your closest friends and don’t invite everyone possible.

2) Consider another day. Friends of mine are getting married on a Sunday. Another picked a Friday night. Venues are cheaper when you avoid the popular days and times.

3) If you know you are getting married, shop all year and shop at thrift stores. My daughter-in-law to be found lots of items at pawn shops, thrift shops or on Craig’s list. Think about it. What do people do with left over wedding items–Craig’s list!

4) Do it yourself–as much as possible. We saved money by tearing down our own venues, borrowing items from friends, making decorations,etc.

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5) You may like the show, Say Yes to the Dress, but it should be titled, Say Yes to Expense! You can find bargain wedding gowns with a little digging. I saw a stunning gown the other day at a JCrew Factory clearance outlet. I bought my own gown for pennies because it had a small thread pull in the train. No one could see it but the price dropped ridiculously low.

6) Raid your friends gardens for flowers or go seasonal. Right now, a friend of mine has peonies blooming like wild fire. These would be stunning on tables at a wedding reception. Consider?

7) Offer to help your friends and they will help you. So much can be done when friends pitch in to help. I’ve help others and now they are helping me. It’s a win-win!

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8) Bake your own desserts. Ahead of time, you can bake the goodies, freeze and use them. A friend of mine did this and saved tremendously on the cost of desserts. Or maybe a friend would do this as a wedding gift!

9) Bargain and negotiate. I was surprised at how much discount I could get when I negotiated rather than just accept the price offered.

10) Use on-line printers for invitations and print materials. In my experience, you can find great bargains this way.

Bottom, line, you can cut the costs tremendously and start your married life with a little more cash in the pocket.

 

 

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