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Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

Couple Relationships Archives

When Your Think Your Marriage is Over, Think Again!

posted by Linda Mintle

Sarah and John were at a family dinner. During a trip to the restroom, John pulled Sarah aside and said, “I’m done. No more of this. I want out of this marriage. ” Sarah, stunned and speechless, wondered what prompted […]

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How to Handle Rejection

posted by Linda Mintle

When a gunman opened fire and killed seven people and wounded three at a Christian college a week ago, the question was, “Why?” Why would anyone walk into a classroom and shoot people at point blank range? While we may […]

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Video Encouragement to Overcome Eating Disorders

posted by Linda Mintle

My friend, Steve Siler, founder of Music for the Soul, uses music and video to encourage, heal, and move people towards recovery and hope. Recently, a song from his CD Tell Me What You See was made into a DVD […]

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Stop Complaining and Get Out of That Spiritual Desert!

posted by Linda Mintle

Ever feel like giving up? Discouragement comes easy sometimes. Our natural tendency is to feel defeated  when things are tough. But Philippians 2:13-14 tells us that God works in us for His good pleasure, and that we are to do […]

The Difference Between Worry and Concern

posted by Linda Mintle

Be anxious about nothing. Is that really possible. It is if you know the difference between worry and concern. Concern is normal. Worry is not! Watch this short video to find out the difference:

7 Spiritual Steps to Overcome Mild Depression

posted by Linda Mintle

Have you struggled with feeling down for a few years, maybe even since childhood? Something just isn’t quite right. You feel irritable, hopeless, lethargic and low in self-esteem. This was true of Robin. He didn’t realize he was depressed and […]

You Can’t Change Him, But You Can Change You!

posted by Linda Mintle

  One of the biggest problems in our relationships is that so many of us believe we can change another person. Truth is, we can’t. But we can change our reaction to that person and then the relationship changes.This lie, […]

Do I Need a Christian Therapist?

posted by Linda Mintle

Question: I’ve got marital problems. I feel down all the time. Nothing seems to be working in my life. Maybe I need to get some professional help. But how do I pick a therapist? Do I need to see a […]

The Secret to Being Content

posted by Linda Mintle

Self-sufficiency was considered a virtue in Greek culture. The Greek word for content, autarkes, means to be self-sufficient or independent. However, the Bible offers a different view of this concept than the Stoic philosophers of biblical days. The Stoics believed […]

How To Respond to Unfair Accusations

posted by Linda Mintle

My devotional reading this morning was quite challenging. It talked about responding to someone who accuses you. When a false accusation comes your way, the natural response is to lash out, come back with a real zinger, and put that […]

Couple Therapy For One Please

posted by Linda Mintle

Susan’s marital distress reached a tipping point, leading her to see a marital therapist. Her chief complaint was that her husband refuses to change, blames her for all the family problems, doesn’t hold a steady job and rarely takes responsibility […]

Later Life Divorce: Why Boomers Are Calling It Quits

posted by Linda Mintle

A recent article in the Wall Street Journal entitled, The Gray Divorce” brought attention to a growing trend–divorce after 50. The article reported that for people 50 or older, the divorce rate has doubled in he past two decades. At […]

Problems? Take the God Challenge

posted by Linda Mintle

I was very challenged today by my devotional reading in Jesus Calling. The entry focused on how we approach problems when they arise. Our human tendency is to get upset. panic or worry, and become distrusting of God. We question […]

Does It Matter What Your Wife Thinks?

posted by Linda Mintle

Tom’s wife made a spot on comment about his behavior, but Tom isn’t buying it. He looks at her and says, “You are wrong” and then becomes highly defensive. His wife tries again to explain her perception of the problem. […]

Anger Expression: Helpful or Hurtful in Relationships?

posted by Linda Mintle

Back in the 80s, marital therapists used to give angry couples nerf-like bats and tell them to go at each other. We also used to advise angry teens to hit their pillows or even purchase a punching bag and wail […]

Encountering Life Storms: Lessons from Pilots

posted by Linda Mintle

Are you going through a difficult time, what we might call a storm in your life? It could be a health diagnosis, a failing relationship, difficulty at work, parenting problems, etc. We all have problems and issues that pop up […]

Do Opposites Really Attract?

posted by Linda Mintle

Are you emotionally expressive but attracted to someone who seems to be very reluctant to share his emotional feelings? It may be the intrigue that has captured your attention. Or perhaps it is the challenge of opening up someone who […]

The Key To Staying Married

posted by Linda Mintle

“I like you and want to stay married.” Great. But that probably isn’t going to cut it unless the commitment is much deeper. Think about it. Most people stay committed when the relationship goes well, but what about when stress […]

Can You Recognize This Famous Love Poetry?

posted by Linda Mintle

Happy Valentine’s Day! Here are portions of a famous piece of love poetry. Do you know who wrote it or where it is from? Read it before you look at the bottom for the answer. You might be surprised! Oh, […]

What Makes a Happy Couple Happy?

posted by Linda Mintle

A national survey  (the National Survey of Martial Strengths) was conducted on 21,501 married couples from all 50 state, using the assessment tool called ENRICH. The purpose of the survey was to identify what is it is that happy couples […]

Tonight: The Love Cocktail!

posted by Linda Mintle

You see him across the crowded room. Your eyes meet and you feel drawn to that person. As you move towards him, your adrenaline rises, your heart races, your mouth is dry–can I even speak? Then, something amazing happens. Your […]

Addicted to Social Media?

posted by Linda Mintle

You are worried. Is this addiction going to come between the two of you? Should you be looking for an accountability group? Why can’t she stop doing this? Please put down that IPAD and look at me! Sounds like someone […]

Letting Go of Worry: Watch the Interview

posted by Linda Mintle

Do you have relationship, health, job or money worries? The women on Full Circle TV invited me to share thoughts from my book Letting Go of Worry. Watch the interview. It’s a bit longer than usual–about 14 minutes. Enjoy!

5 Do and Don’t for Valentine Day Singles

posted by Linda Mintle

Here are my 5 Dos and Don’ts for Valentine’s Day for singles: 1. Not in a relationship this Valentine’s Day: Don’t sit home and pout about not being in the relationship of your dreams while drowning your sorrows in pints […]

5 Ways To Make A Date Night Work

posted by Linda Mintle

Couples trying to improve their relationship satisfaction often find that spending time together does the trick. In fact, that is the idea of the Date Night Challenge. Take your partner on a date and have some fun. But the mundane […]

WIll You Take The Date Night Challenge?

posted by Linda Mintle

This week, the city of Chicago is revving up for the Date Night Challenge, a not-for-profit venture involving businesses, churches and individuals that is designed to strengthen relationships. The goal is to have couples go on 5 million dates in […]

One Sure Way to Sink Your Relationship

posted by Linda Mintle

You see it in sit coms. The “I don’t have a clue” husband whose wife is constantly telling him what to do or reminding him what he seems to be not doing. While we may laugh at this comedy routine, […]

February: The Month of Love or Divorce?

posted by Linda Mintle

  I was surprised to read that divorce attorneys report that January and February (just before Valentine’s Day) are the busiest time of year for divorce. Think about it. Couples try to make it work over the holidays and hope […]

Demi Moore Hospitalized: Could It Be A MidLife Eating Disorder?

posted by Linda Mintle

When Demi Moore was hospitalized yesterday, my first therapeutic instinct was to wonder about an eating disorder. I have treated people with eating disorders for over 25 years. While Moore has not confirmed or denied an eating disorder, a growing […]

Conflict Resolution in a Family

posted by Linda Mintle

What happens to children when the parents can’t deal with conflict? You might be surprised at the impact on kids. Watch the video  

Look Out People: A Divorce May Just Kill You!

posted by Linda Mintle

Who likes to think about death, especially the things that can bring early death–getting hit by a car, smoking, excessive drinking, obesity, etc. But did you ever think that getting divorce could bring early death? Researchers at the University of […]

Stick to Those New Year’s Resolutions

posted by Linda Mintle

I finally made it back to the gym a few week’s ago and noticed how crowded it was getting to my machines. I also know that by February, most of those eager faces will never brighten the YMCA again. Yes, […]

Beyonce’s And Jay Z’s Baby’s Over the Top Birth

posted by Linda Mintle

Beyonce and Jay-Z had a baby girl! Congrats to them. Always glad for a healthy birth! But apparently not everyone is overjoyed with the circumstances surrounding this birth. According to MailOnline: A rumored 1. 3 million was spent to renovate […]

A Woman Scorn: Tiger Wood’s Ex-Wife Takes Down the House–Literally!

posted by Linda Mintle

I’ve seen my share of angry divorces in all my years as a marriage and family therapist, but this takes the cake. Angry spouses usually throw clothes out the door, pack boxes and ship them out and even remove furniture, […]

The Duggar’s Miscarriage: A Model of Grieving

posted by Linda Mintle

For those of you who may not know who the Duggars are, they are the family who currently has 19 children, all by natural birth, and have their own reality TV show on TLC, 19 Kids and Counting. Recently, the […]

How Happy Couples Deal With Conflict

posted by Linda Mintle

  How many times have you heard a couple say they need to work on resolving conflict? Well, it may surprise you to know that conflict resolution is not the solution to happy marriages. My parents were married 67 years […]

6 Tips to Prevent Exhausted and Overactive Kids During the Holidays

posted by Linda Mintle

Here is a great question from a parent who wants help with young kids during the holiday season: Q: Every holiday season, we travel to see relatives, eat too many sweets and are exhausted because the kids miss naps and […]

Can You Pass the Anger Quiz?

posted by Linda Mintle

Anger is a misunderstood emotion. Take the 10 question anger quiz to see how well you understand anger: T     F    1.  As long as I don’t look or sound angry, I am not angry. T     F     2. If I ignore […]

5 Reasons We Hang on to Worry

posted by Linda Mintle

Last night I caught myself beginning to worry about something in the near future. I had to stop and do what I know to do. Worry is a mental habit that needs to broken. My new book, Letting Go of […]

10 Possible Reasons For Kim Kardashian’s Divorce

posted by Linda Mintle

Yesterday I was interviewed multiple times on the radio, once in LA, to discuss the Kim Kardashian divorce. The interviewers felt Kim owed her fans a better explanation for the ending of her marriage. Here are  10 reasons I could […]

Responding to Unfair Treatment

posted by Linda Mintle

Personally, I have had to deal with a situation where someone was treated unfairly. There was no apology and no indication that the offense would ever be acknowledged. And confronting the offense was not a safe thing to do. So […]

Could Kardashian Marital Trouble Been Predicted?

posted by Linda Mintle

It was big news yesterday. E! News released this statement from Kim Kardashian regarding hubby New Jersey Nets player Kris Humphries . “After careful consideration, I have decided to end my marriage,. I hope everyone understands this was not an […]

10 Ways to Help Your Young Adult Resist Premartial Sex

posted by Linda Mintle

A recent Gallup poll reported: 80 percent of young unmarried Christians have had sex outside of marriage. Two-thirds of unmarried Christians have been sexual active in the last year. 42 percent of the 18-29 year olds in the 80 percent […]

Some Redemption for Chris Brown

posted by Linda Mintle

“Some Redemption for Chris Brown” was the headline in our local paper. Singer, dancer, pop artist Chris Brown appeared in concert over the weekend. He is talented and a heart throb among teens but the artist and I have had […]

Making Relationships Work

posted by Linda Mintle

Today, I am at the E-Women conference in Lynchburg, Virginia. The event is sold out and Sarah Palin is headlining the conference. The women are here, ready to be inspired. As a marriage and family therapist, I love to talk […]

This Doctor Disagrees With The Doctors on Sexual Fantasies

posted by Linda Mintle

I am at the Y exercising. What do I hear as I am flipping the channels? It was The Doctors on their daily talk show and they made me crazy again! The Doctors were talking about “F” words today. The […]

How Couples Grow Apart

posted by Linda Mintle

This week, I am speaking at the American Association of Christian Counselors World Conference in Nashville, TN. My first session is entitled, Advances in Marital Therapy: What Works? We know what works, but the frustration is that too many couple […]

Ted Haggard: Do Not Do Celebrity Wife Swap

posted by Linda Mintle

I was driving in my car yesterday when someone on the radio started talking about  Ted Haggard and his wife, Gayle, appearing on ABC’s Celebrity Wife Swap this Fall. The host was making terrible jokes about Haggard and talked about […]

Who Wins the Sleep Battle? Men or Women?

posted by Linda Mintle

The minute my husband turns off the light at night, he falls asleep. Doesn’t work that way for me. It takes me awhile. And I am the one who seems to fall asleep earlier and then wake up earlier. But […]

Kate Gosselin’s New Reality is No Reality

posted by Linda Mintle

I hesitated to write about Kate Gosselin because  last time I did, I was immediately thrown in to one of two camps–the haters and the supporters. I’m neither. I do not hate Kate, nor do I support a number of […]

How Well Do You Score on the Forgiveness Quiz?

posted by Linda Mintle

I was deeply moved yesterday listening to the names of the victims from 911. I watched a number of anniversary specials and saw both resilience and heart break in families. My heart went out to those who are still stuck […]

The Jersey Shore—I Honestly Don’t Get It

posted by Linda Mintle

I finally watched an episode of the Jersey Shore. Figured it was time I knew who Snooki and the Situation were since I have seen them all over the television screen handing out awards, dancing with stars and being interviewed. […]

Jake Says, “Embrace Porn”

posted by Linda Mintle

The other day I was sitting in a medical office waiting for my routine mammogram. There was a small table next to me with reading materials on it. The first thing I noticed was that the office placed a Bible […]

For or Against On-Line Dating

posted by Linda Mintle

Last week, I did a news story on on-line dating. I also took the opportunity to use my social media to ask people if they were for or against on-line dating and why? I received a great response that was […]

Staying Together or Growing Apart?

posted by Linda Mintle

Today is my 37th wedding anniversary and yes, I was a child bride! Seriously, I am so thankful for the person I married. The strength of our relationship comes from our unity in God. Like any marriage, we have had […]

Why at the Y? Embracing Change

posted by Linda Mintle

We all know how important it is to exercise. I get that and have written books (Lose It For Life) on the multiple benefits of exercise. But when the Y (it is no longer called the YMCA) completely revamped its […]

Doing Life Together: Beginning July 1, 2011

posted by Linda Mintle

Grab a cup of coffee. Get comfortable and let’s do life together. We will tackle everyday issues that lead to good mental health. I bring years of clinical training and experience to our virtual table and will serve up tips […]

Previous Posts

The Warning Signs of Family Stress
The Jones family has been under a great deal of stress lately. Dad's corporation is downsizing and jobs may be eliminated. Mr. Jones could be one of those jobs. Mrs. Jones' mother passed away suddenly, leaving a deep vacuum of support and help. ...

posted 7:00:19am Feb. 08, 2016 | read full post »

A Super Bowl Outcome You May Not Like
Super Bowl week! Yes, we are obsessed with the game. And part of that obsession includes our Super Bowl menu. But what if I told you that your menu and eating habits are influenced by the game. Super Bowl  has an eating outcome you may not ...

posted 7:00:32am Feb. 05, 2016 | read full post »

Conflict? Who Should Make the First Move?
Hannah hadn't spoken to her mother for a month and the tension between them could be cut with a knife. It was Saturday morning and Hannah was contemplating picking up the phone and making a call. She wanted to resolve the problem. But here ...

posted 7:00:31am Feb. 03, 2016 | read full post »

Fighting with a Narcissist
Rich and Sharon have constant fights, and the fights take on a common pattern. Sharon is dating a narcissist. The key traits of a narcissist are to be self-centered, need to be admired, be right, not admit fault and feel superior. All of ...

posted 7:00:58am Feb. 02, 2016 | read full post »

Dad's Anxiety Could Affect His Unborn Child!
Blog Question: My husband is very anxious about the birth of our second child. He is feeling the economic pressure of our expanding family and worries about everything. He is making me anxious because of his state of distress. What can I tell ...

posted 7:00:09am Jan. 29, 2016 | read full post »

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