Beliefnet
Doing Life Together

woman-3187620_1280Wishing for the perfect mate? Well there is good news and bad news.

Here’s the bad news first. According to a study at the University of Gothenburg and University of Oxford, men want attractive young women and women want older men with resources. Yes, the Hollywood stereotype of the trophy wife who marries for money and security was found to hold true when 400 personal ads in newspapers and on Web sites were reviewed. I suppose this is good news for attractive, young women who don’t mind marrying a father figure or someone who can’t relate to their generation. Yes, my bias is showing. And it shows because I hate the emphasis placed on marrying for youth and beauty and money. Both aren’t exactly the building blocks of great marriages. One other point, a generation gap among couples is a risk for divorce as well.

Now here’s the good news. Even though you might think that the former James Bond, is your man, chances are, he’s not available or interested. Instead, you’ve married someone close to your age who has a similar economic status. He’s not sweeping you away to tropical islands for weekends of fun, but working hard for the money (to quote disco queen Donna Summer). Your man isn’t married to Scarlett Johansson either. He got you—someone he found attractive, compatible and works equally hard to provide a good life for your family.

Bottom line, we might have Hollywood ideals but our realities are very different. We find people who love and work beside us, who are interested in us and fall in love. Our love choices typically find us and don’t always make a lot of sense. So put down the tabloid and stop dreaming of George Clooney-he’s taken anyway. Look your partner lovingly in the face. Appreciate those imperfections and dedication to providing what you need. It may not be storybook, but it can be good!

 

 

Join the Discussion
comments powered by Disqus