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Doing Life Together

struggling coupleLet’s say your marriage is hurting and you know you need help.

If you are a Christian couple, does it matter who you see and what approach the person uses to help you?

Absolutely. So much of couples therapy is based on a secular humanistic approach and not on the truths of Christianity. Here is why it matters:

1) Secular therapies are often based on the idea of evolution, not creation. As Christians, we see the handprint of God’s design in all we do and believe we are made in the image of God.

2) Christian therapy is not based on the postmodern idea that truth is relative. Jesus is the Truth and He sets people free. We are guided by the truth of Scripture, not the cultural think of the day.

3) Everything we do is seen through a Christian lens. Thus, there is no separation between the secular and sacred, faith or reason, the spiritual or natural. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do EVERYTHING, in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (Colossians 3:17).

4) Christian therapy integrates what is good and doctrinally sound with nonChristian approaches. Discernment and wisdom are needed to integrate.

5) Christian therapists believe in sin and that sin can be a root of problems. Other therapies believe in the goodness of man and have no place for a sin doctrine.

6) Christian therapists believe there is a close link between couple and spiritual  growth.  Without a spiritual base of unity, marriages are much harder to navigate.

7) Christian therapists rely on God in the person of the Holy Spirit to change us.

8) Christian therapists hold to a covenant view of marriage versus a contract only view.

9) Christian therapists see forgiveness as a command, not something you do if you feel like it, or think the other person deserves it. We were forgiven by God when we didn’t deserve it and He commands us to do the same with each other.

10)  Christian therapists believe in hope and leave room for the impossible.

So if you are a Christian couple looking for a therapist to help your marriage, find a therapist who shares your faith. Several sites like Focus on the Family and The American Association for Christian counseling (aacc.net) have referral information. The world view of the therapist shapes the direction of therapy and is important.

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