Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together


Offended? You Have Three Choices

posted by Linda Mintle

smaller worryI was watching Selling New York the other day and one of the sellers was so offensive to the real-estate  agent. He was making insensitive ethnic jokes and insulting him left and right. The agent took it on the chin. I was yelling at the TV, “Don’t just take it, speak up.” But speaking up meant losing a sale. Would you put up with offensive behavior just to make a sale?

If you live long enough, you will be offended. Offense involves insensitivity, unkind words, unfulfilled expectations, and/or a lack of respect or honor. Offensive remarks and behavior hurt and wound.

When you are offended, you have three choices in terms of how you will respond: 1) Take up the offense 2) Let it go 3) Confront and talk it out.

If you take up an offense, you build a wall that leads to anger, unforgiveness, hostility, frustration and more. You suffer. It hinders your growth both relationally and spiritually. And holding an offense can lead to potential sickness, physical and emotional distress. It causes bondage in your life that opens the door to major discouragement, fear, negative attitudes, a critical spirit and feelings of rejection. Holding on to offense means living with unforgiveness. Unforgiveness leads to bitterness and blocks your relationship with God and causes you to become negative. So taking up an offense will only hurt you more than the offense itself.

If you let it go, you experience emotional and spiritual freedom. Letting go demonstrates maturity and character. According to Scripture, God will judge every careless word spoken. Proverbs 19:11 says, “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” Overlooking offense is a spiritual act that brings glory to God.

If you confront and talk it out, it may be easier to move a relationship forward. Certainly, you don’t overcome an offense by offending the other person. The heart attitude must be to look behind the offense and resolve the issue. Hopefully, forgiveness follows and the relationship is restored. Talking it out builds a bridge to reconciliation.  Confront with gentleness, telling the person how hurt or offended you were by what was said or done. Offer another way to deal with the situation that would not lead to offense. Then, forgive the person and agree to do things differently next time. Once you engage in this process, it is easier to let it go!

 



Previous Posts

The Real Reason We Yawn!
It's late afternoon. You are sitting in a meeting. Three people at the table yawn and you do the same. Are you bored? Tired? Or what? Need more coffee? Need more sleep? Or maybe you need a nice cool air-conditioned room! Even though we do yawn more when we are tired, tired may not be the re

posted 7:00:09am Aug. 27, 2014 | read full post »

Teacher Tells Student What Words She Cannot Say!
Some things defy common sense...here is one of them. Be ready to be outraged! Maybe you heard the story last week. High school senior Kendra Turner was suspended in Dyer County Tennessee for breaking a class rule. You might be thinking, "OK, teachers need to keep control of their classrooms."

posted 7:00:54am Aug. 25, 2014 | read full post »

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon Split: Telling All May Have Been Too Much
The gossip train is all a buzz with what looks like a split between pop diva, Mariah Carey and her husband, America's Got Talent host, Nick Cannon. The usual suspects, TMZ, People, Hollywood Life and others are reporting the spilt, saying divorce is a done deal. The six-year marriage that produced

posted 7:51:12am Aug. 22, 2014 | read full post »

Withholding Friendship as a Weapon
I'll never forget the day my five-year-old came home and said, "No one will play with 'Sandy' because she doesn't do what they say!" I was upset and thankfully, my daughter thought it was mean. But the other girls excluded little Sandy and rejected her from their friendship circle. Would you be

posted 7:00:24am Aug. 20, 2014 | read full post »

Look Before You Lock: Leaving Kids in Hot Cars
It's August. It's hot! You just need to run into the store for a few minutes to grab a few groceries. Your six-month-old is sleeping soundly and he really needs a nap. Should you leave him be and run in to the store? With all the news about children dying in hot cars, the Dr. Linda Mintle radio sh

posted 7:00:03am Aug. 18, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.