Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together


Frozen in Conflict? 10 Ways to Thaw the Tension

posted by Linda Mintle

ID-100160816The hit movie Frozen includes a plot line of  sisters avoiding conflict. But does a conceal versus reveal approach to conflict pay off in real life?

Not really.

Now that we are all singing, “Let it Go” in our heads, there are ways to thaw the tension, before you can let a conflict go. This requires going back into the disagreement, not avoiding it.

So if you are frozen in an argument or difference of opinion, don’t avoid. Revisit the problem and try to work it through. See if these guidelines will help:

1) Choose a time when both of you are calm and work on staying calm during the dialogue. You can’t think well when you are too emotionally aroused. So take deep breaths and work on relaxing your body.

2) Identify the points of difference. Be specific and keep it behaviorally descriptive.

3) Then talk about the meaning behind each of your differences. Why do you feel so strongly? What does this point of difference mean to you? Sometimes understanding the why behind a position makes it easier to negotiate.

4) Look for any points of compromise.

5) If there are no compromises, can one of you accommodate the other?

6) If no, then can you come up with an alternative plan?

7) If you are still at a deadlock, you either need more conversation related to how this affects your beliefs, or decide to agree to disagree and don’t make this an on-going point of contention.

8) End the discussion with being respectful and be kind to each other. Conflict that isn’t resolved doesn’t wreak relationships. It’s how you talk to each other about your differences that matters.

9) If you have been angry, hurtful or overly critical, apologize and forgive.

10) If this is an issue that must be resolved, take the matter to prayer and seek counsel from others or a professional.

 



Previous Posts

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon Split: Telling All May Have Been Too Much
The gossip train is all a buzz with what looks like a split between pop diva, Mariah Carey and her husband, America's Got Talent host, Nick Cannon. The usual suspects, TMZ, People, Hollywood Life and others are reporting the spilt, saying divorce is a done deal. The six-year marriage that produced

posted 7:51:12am Aug. 22, 2014 | read full post »

Withholding Friendship as a Weapon
I'll never forget the day my five-year-old came home and said, "No one will play with 'Sandy' because she doesn't do what they say!" I was upset and thankfully, my daughter thought it was mean. But the other girls excluded little Sandy and rejected her from their friendship circle. Would you be

posted 7:00:24am Aug. 20, 2014 | read full post »

Look Before You Lock: Leaving Kids in Hot Cars
It's August. It's hot! You just need to run into the store for a few minutes to grab a few groceries. Your six-month-old is sleeping soundly and he really needs a nap. Should you leave him be and run in to the store? With all the news about children dying in hot cars, the Dr. Linda Mintle radio sh

posted 7:00:03am Aug. 18, 2014 | read full post »

More Bad News for Pot Smokers
As the legalization of marijuana gains momentum, more data pours in that is NOT good news. Here are some of the findings: Sometimes, marijuana is addictive. If you begin as a teen, you have a higher chance of developing an addiction. According to the National Institute of Drug Use, about 9% who

posted 7:00:03am Aug. 14, 2014 | read full post »

Robin Williams: Laughter and Sadness
The news that Robin Williams had died, hit me hard. This incredible funny man was introduced to me as an alien on Mork and Mindy. Immediately, one could see the quick wit of a comedian destined for stardom. He made us laugh! Then he broadened his stage to movies and made us cry, cheer and feel i

posted 6:19:47am Aug. 12, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.