Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

It’s Tax Day But How Is Your Emotional Bank Account Doing?

2 happy coupleYes, today is tax day and many of you will make that last minute run for the post office before midnight! Why? Because you don’t want to be penalized by the federal government. But what about your emotional bank account?  Do you need to make more deposits when it comes to your relationships?

An emotional bank account has to do with how often you deposit positives into your relationships. Do you praise, show fondness and admiration to your partner, give complements, make gestures of affection, tell the person you love him/her, use words of encouragement, pay attention to his or her needs, etc.?


If you don’t make regular positive deposits, your emotional bank account can go into a negative balance.  When this happens, the negativity begins to tip the positive, causing you to start looking at your relationship in a negative way. In fact, we know from the research of John Gottman that couples who are doing well have a 5 to 1 positives to negatives ratio operating in their relationship.  Happy couples have 20 to 1 positives to negatives. Unhappy couples have .08 to 1 ratio of negates to positives.

So on this special tax day, get to the post office on time, but tell your loved one something positive along the way. Make sure you are making regular positive deposits into your intimate relationships. These will be absolutely necessary when problems erupt. An overall positive feeling about a relationship makes it easier to deal with problems.

You can’t stop the government from taking your tax dollars, but you can stop your relationship from being depleted. Make those emotional deposits every day and your emotional bank account will be full!

Previous Posts

Thanksgiving: More Than a Meal, Parade and Football
When you think of Thanksgiving, what comes to mind? Watching the Macy's Day parade, eating a very large meal with all the trimmings and watching football with family and friends? Black Friday and the kickoff of the Christmas ...

posted 7:00:21am Nov. 25, 2015 | read full post »

Gratitude: How It Changes Us in Positive Ways
I've been keeping a gratitude journal for the past weeks. Each day, I write down 3 things for which I am thankful. Focusing on gratitude changes a person. If you want to know how, watch my blog to learn about the many benefits of ...

posted 7:00:39am Nov. 23, 2015 | read full post »

What's Your Relationship Deal Breaker?
My daughter was talking to us about relationships the other night. We asked about one young man she knew and her instant response was, "Too needy!" For her, that was a deal breaker. As I thought about this, we all have those deal breakers that ...

posted 7:00:06am Nov. 20, 2015 | read full post »

Exercise More, Lose Weight? Not Really!
Eat less, exercise more. That is the weight loss mantra, right? The role of exercise in weight loss is often misunderstood. The State of Texas knows this first hand. They spend 37 million dollars on grants to help children in poverty reduce ...

posted 7:00:29am Nov. 18, 2015 | read full post »

Move Over "No Shave", It's No SHAME November
I have to admit, I'm not a fan of No Shave November. I look forward to the month ending in order to see the faces of the men I care about again. But one of my producers had a different take on the No Shave idea and wrote a thoughtful spot for me ...

posted 7:00:35am Nov. 17, 2015 | read full post »


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.